And I sat, sobbing at my desk

This time last year was a wonderful time in the Dubya household......

The 'lil man was 13 months old -- he'd skipped over walking and gone right to running. I was 20 weeks pregnant with the 'lil lady...... I'd just started feeling her move around, she was strong and healthy. My cousin M, was also expecting -- after 8 years of trying and more than a dozen unsuccessful in-vitros, she was 27½ weeks along with twins. Pregnancy wasn't kind to her -- at 13 weeks she was put on strict bedrest and at 21 weeks she'd been hospitalized -- she was kept inverted around the clock in an effort to stop pre-term labor. She was unable to shower or use the bathroom, she remained that way for 42 days.

I came into work and opened this email from my cousin D (M's younger sister):

-----Original Message-----
From: D
Sent: Monday, July 24, 2006 9:54 AM
To: MrsBigDubya
Subject: M delivered

M delivered 2 boys this morning. I don't have any details yet about weight and their status, other that they're in ICU. I'm waiting for my parents to call me with updates. I tried calling your mom's house, but I got the machine, so I didn't leave a message. If you can pass the news along.

I'll get back to you as I get more news.
D

I sat at my desk and sobbed. As I felt my own baby flutter around inside, I felt an enormous sense of relief, gratitude and guilt. How could this have happened to her? This is a woman who was born to be a mother -- her dreams were finally coming true and now this.

I cried on and off all day.... glued to my phone and email, hoping..... praying for some sort of positive news.... and dreading the possibility of learning that the unthinkable had happened.

The next message came -- but didn't offer much in the way of hope -- the situation was still beyond critical

-----Original Message-----
From: D
Sent: Monday, July 24, 2006 4:23 PM
To: Mrs Big Dubya
Subject: (no subject)

Not much of an update, but here's what I know.

She delivered naturally. Apparently she felt the babies coming early this morning and they were going to do a csection but I don't think that there was enough time.

Baby A was 2lb 2oz, no length size available.
Baby B was 1lb 15ozs, no length size available. This baby is on a vent.

That is all that I know. I am headed to the hospital shortly so I let you know more info later
D

More tears, more prayers, more gratitude, more guilt...... layer on some feelings of helplessness and a primal urge to go home and hold the 'lil Dubya as tight as I could. I'd had a baby in the NICU, I knew the terror....... and our 'lil man wasn't even that serious.

The message I received the next day was more of the same

-----Original Message-----
From: D
Sent: Tuesday, July 25, 2006 6:42 AM
To: Mrs Big Dubya
Subject: (no subject)

Well, I went to the hospital last night and saw the babies. They are really tiny. Baby A was 13 & 3/4 inches long, weighing 2lbs & 2 ozs and Baby B was 13 & 1/4inches, weighing 1 lb & 15 ozs. M looked good and was in better spirits than I imagined. One of her friends that is a NICU nurse was visiting while we were there, so I didn't get to talk to her too much. She had to have an episiotomy, all the way from her vagina to rectum because the doctor had to put his entire hand in to either turn a baby or pull one out (I never got the full story on that).She hasn't chosen their names so I'll just keep referring to them as A & B.

A is on a CPAP mask and in an incubator already. He was crying a lot while we were there, which is a good sign. He had a little hat on him and his little eyebrows looked like they were blond. B is on a ventilator and still in the tray under the lights. I don't know when he'll be able to go into the incubator. I really didn't get to stay near him too long because the nurse who was working on him was a real bitch, and M was trying to get information out of her while her NICU friend was there so she could get a better understanding of how his condition is. My parents asked me why B wasn't in the incubator yet and I didn't have the heart to tell them that the most critical preemies are kept on the tray for easy access in case of the need to resuscitate.

They'll start doing scans by the end of the week to check and see if there is any organ damage and take each day as it comes with other health issues. I will keep the updates coming and now I'm going to try and go back to sleep for an hour before the kids get up.
D

The days and weeks that followed were filled with more tears, more sobbing and more prayers.

So, now here we are -- a year later. It's been a long year for M -- a year filled with an open heart surgery, two hernia repairs, and several rounds of laser eye surgery. Baby B was on continuous oxygen for many months and Baby A had some health issues of his own.

The 'lil Dubya, 'liller Dubyette and I attended their first birthday on Saturday -- they are small, but strong -- they are crawling, pulling themselves up and beginning to take their first steps.

Miracles happen...... I saw two of them on Saturday afternoon.

Now, Why is this breaking news?

LINDSAY LOHAN REPORTEDLY ARRESTED FOR

DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE AGAIN

Back on September 13th, 2001 -- I signed up to get breaking news emailed to me, I'm sure a lot of you did too. I was working in a high rise in downtown Boston, right across the street from the hotel where the terrorists stayed the night before the attacks -- we were evacuated many times in the coming weeks and I couldn't get enough news.... internet, newspaper, TV, radio.... I was a news-junkie.

In the days and weeks that followed, these news alerts brought information about the plots, the bravery of the passengers, the heroes that helped the injured, the dead, those left behind mourning. This was news I didn't want to miss -- I was an American and the nation needed to hurt together, mourn together and heal together..... news helped me feel like part of that process.

Even now, I get the pop-up window of a News Alert in my inbox and my heart sinks..... oh no, what now? Good God, please don't let it be another attack.

And then I go to check my email and I learn about something f'ing stupid.

MEMO

To: Fox, MSNBC, CNN, etc.

From: Mrs Big Dubya

RE: Breaking News Emails

Declaration of War or a break out of Peace IS Breaking News

Paris Hilton getting sent home from prison because of a tummy ache IS NOT Breaking News

Outbreak of the Plague IS Breaking News
The Paternity Test of Anna Nicole's Baby IS NOT Breaking News

The Boston Red Sox Winning the World Series IS Breaking News

A-Rod cheating on his wife IS NOT Breaking News

Now, stop sending me nonsense news alerts or I'm going to have to cancel you!

To Croc or not to Croc...

About 6 or 7 years ago, the Big Dubya and I were vacationing on Martha's Vineyard. We were taking a leisurely stroll through Vineyard Haven and came across a guy with a cart. The guy was selling these huge clunky plastic/rubber shoes and was begging us to stop and try them on.

I don't know about you.... but I remember these from the early '80s and figured that they'd probably cut my feet -- so, we kept walking.

Fast forward to 2007 and holy crap -- the clunky plastic/rubber shoes are called Crocs, and they are all the rage.

I've been making fun of these things from the start -- I mean, give me a break.... could they be any more stupid looking? But, Aunt P told me that her girlfriend (a NICU nurse who spends a ton of time on her feet) swears by them, as do all her co-workers. The Big Dubya and I were still skeptical -- but then, we were in Disney and I saw them in one of the shops.... (they had ones w/ Mickey Mouse shaped holes) I just had to try them on -- ya know, see what the fuss was about.

Imagine my shock and surprise -- they are comfortable.

So, tell me readers -- To Croc? or Not to Croc?

Home Again, Home Again

Aunt P and I are home and WOW....... it's been a whirlwind.

I missed the babies (and the Big Dubya of course) immensely, but we had a ball. We laughed and laughed..... and then we laughed some more.

For such a short trip, we got an awful lot done -- we did a tour of this and of this, we went to our cousin's wedding reception in Dublin (the purpose of the trip), we met an aunt for coffee, did a big family lunch in Wicklow, had a night out that included watching some street performers do some crazy stuff with fire (no really, we've got pictures & video) and we even managed to squeeze in a couple of pints here and here.

I'm sure we'll post more about the trip and all the family dirt we uncovered in the coming days..... but for now, I've just got to get used to not eating every 20 minutes.

Blasphemy

We've got rules people......

I know that some rules are meant to be broken, but others just aren't.

As mentioned before, Aunt P and I are in Dublin for our cousin's wedding reception. The party is tonight, so we arrived yesterday and will head home on Monday. We flew out Thursday night and landed Friday morning -- around 7:45am Irish time (2:45 Boston time).

Thankfully our hotel let us check in early and we took a great nap -- would have taken a shower, but there were no towels (story for another post).

After our nap we decided to go explore a little -- but it was pouring rain. So, we opted to grab lunch in the lobby bar instead -- hoping the weather would clear in a bit. Of course, we had a beer or two as well -- Aunt P had one of these, while I stuck with one of these (this is an actual photo of our beers). It's cute that they put your beer in the appropriate glass (they had no Kilkenny ones clean, so Aunt P had to compromise).

And this is where we witnessed the egregious offense.

Back the story up a bit, for years the only American beer you could get in Ireland was Budweiser and maybe MGD -- interestingly enough, light beer hadn't really caught on -- still hasn't.

But, a few years ago while I was here (the Big Dubya and I were still dating) Coors Light was introduced -- and it has become wildly popular (it's one of the only light beers you can find in Ireland). Anyway, lots of girls drink Coors Light over here. Now, I like Coors Light (probably more than the average person) but when I'm in Ireland..... it's just wrong to drink American beer -- so, I opt for Carlsberg, Smithwicks, Heineken or of course Guinness. Guinness is a good choice because it is supposed to be served at room temperature -- seems like cold is a tough thing to achieve in beverages over here -- but we are going to the Guinness brewery today, so I figured I'd save my Guinness enjoyment for our trip to the mother ship, St. James Gate.

Anyway, yesterday we were sitting in the bar enjoying our beer & deep fried food (sausage & chips.... the had no curry) and someone ordered a Bulmers and a Coors Light...... ON ICE!!!

Yes, they poured their cider and their beer into glasses of ice. We also witnessed people drinking wine on ice -- Aunt P and I were horrified...... beer over ice? how could you do such a thing?

Life from Dublin, Ireland

So, all went as planned....

A couple of minor glitches in meeting up with my dad, a.k.a. Grandad (we were supposed to meet him at the bar in front of security.... he was at the bar at the gate).

Thumbs up to Aer Lingus..... they've got some fancy new planes -- they've got these little TVs in the back of the headrest (a la Jet Blue) so that helped pass the time quite nicely.

It's raining here..... and looks like it will be for the next couple of days (bummer)

Aunt P's lying in bed reading some trashy romance novel.... I'm gonna get her to come get fatty food with me -- nobody does fried food like the Irish :)

I know, I'm a total duphis

I cried when I left the house this morning.

I'll only be gone a couple of days, but...... I'm going to miss my babies ( their dad too, but...)

I'll try to post from Dublin

Cheers!

Wanted -- One Good Bra

So, that's all I want.... one good bra.

I'm not a large woman, so this bra doesn't have to wonder or perform a miracle.... it doesn't need to stand up on it's own or provide bullet proof protection -- just something simple, something washable, something comfortable.....

I went to Victoria's Secret this morning..... first time in several years -- and all they had were these foam monstrosities.

These things were so big and thick..... they wouldn't fit inside my clothes -- AND they were $50!!!!

$50 for ONE bra

We have a very busy summer planned here in Dubya land..... trips and parties, concerts and weddings, RedSox games and..... did I mention a RedSox game????


When you've got two kids two and under, it makes everything a little more challenging -- so, when I learned that I had three cousins getting married this summer -- we had some decisions to make.


One cousin is from Ireland, but lives in Australia -- she opted for an intimate immediate family affair in Ireland, so we had no decision to make there..... we weren't invited, and that's just fine. Another cousin, is from Ireland but lives in CA he's getting married in August. He moved out here after college and lived with my family in Boston on and off for a few years while he got on his feet. He's almost like another sibling, so that's a wedding the whole family's gonna trek out to the west coast for.


Another cousin is from Ireland, and lives in Ireland but got married in Tuscany.


It was a tough call, but a trip to Tuscany and a trip to CA in the same six week period is just too much for the babies (not to mention the pocketbook) so, we opted not to make the trip to Italy. The same cousin is having a wedding reception in Ireland for all those who didn't make the trip to Italy -- so, I'm going to shoot over to attend that this weekend with Aunt P, but without the Big Dubya and the 'lil ones.


All I can say is that it sounded like a good idea at the time..... now, I'm freakin' people!

I can't leave my babies......

I know the Big Dubya is their father, and wonderful with them, more than capable of a couple of days alone with them -- but he's not the Mommy.... I'm the Mommy -- how can I leave them?????

Did I mention that Dublin's forecast is for rain.... all weekend?

When your friends become parents

When you are young and single, it's not all that uncommon for you to go on vacation with your friends..... that's what young, single people do.

When you are coupled-up (married or not), it's not all that uncommon for you to go on vacation with your coupled-up friends..... that's what couples do.

When you have a family, it's not all that uncommon for you to go on vacation with other families... that's what families do, right?

We go on vacation in groups all the time -- as a matter of fact, we just got back from a trip to Disney with my sister (Aunt P), her husband and my mother. In August we are heading to CA with my parents, my sister & her husband to meet up with some extended family for my cousin's wedding. In the spring, we have a couple of trips in the works -- one with the Big Dubya's parents, and another with my family -- and yet another trip in the works for next fall. It actually seems like we do more group trips than "just us" ones -- and that's okay with me.

Here's the part that gets tricky.

When your friends have children and you have children -- yet, your parenting style/philosophy just doesn't synch up.

When we go away, or when we stay in the home of another family -- we are, understandably, in unusually close-quarters. So, I try to over-compensate -- make sure that my kids are, to the extent possible, on their best behavior.

My rationale is that they are my kids, and cleaning up after them and correcting them shouldn't be a burden for anyone else to shoulder. In the event that someone else does need to correct my child for mis-behaving -- then, the adult is always right. Most of our friends feel the same way, and so -- there's no issue.

But, what about when your friends who (despite their claim to be very strict) are much more passive with their children?

Their kids can watch TV (regardless of content) as much or as often as they want -- they use fresh language with adults, and it's considered "cute," they eat their meals.... wherever they want... kitchen table, living room..... whatever.

When their kids get up in the morning, these parents remain in bed assuming that you'll take care of them.... or that they can busy themselves.

They have no problem leaving the morning breakfast dishes (remaining partially chewed food and all) on the table (or the couch) when they leave for the day...... all the while using the excuse "it's okay to relax the rules, they are on vacation"

These are also the parents who say "oh, kids do that" at birthday parties when their kid rushes over and starts opening all the gifts.

Makes me think we won't be vacationing with these friends again anytime soon.