I Wish I Knew How to Quit You!

So, yesterday morning I'm driving to work and listening to AM Talk Radio..... (that's what Conservatives listen to, while Liberals are listening to NPR).... OOOOOHHHHHH did you feel that? that was Kara cringing.....

Anyway, I heard this song.... sung by Willie Nelson..... it's titled "Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other)"...... yep, you read it right...... it's a song about closeted cowboys. At first I thought it was a spoof of sorts, but nope..... it's really about that. You can read more about it here. It struck me as funny and I laughed out loud in the car (yes, sometimes I really am still a sixth grader).... I'm not really sure why I laughed, but I did.... like a giddy schoolgirl. Melissa Etheridge, George Michael, Elton John..... there are lots of gay artists..... but usually they sing about love and relationships and don't say a whole lot about what kind of relationship it is.... gay, straight.... love is love, right? Well no..... not Willie, he's singin' about gay cowboys.... is Willie gay???? I don't think so, but hmmmmm maybe.... that would explain the braids.... um no........ never mind. Anyway, since the opening of Brokeback Mountain the Big Dubya's been walking around the house saying "I wish I knew how to quit you" and then cracking up laughing...... it's gotten to the point where he doesn't even have to say it out loud anymore.... he just spontaneously starts laughing.... and not just a slight laugh either, a good belly laugh and he doesn't even have to tell me...... I know exactly what he's laughing at!

Anyway, the song's on iTunes.... check it out. It's only a matter of days before the Big Dubya starts singing it!

Here are the lyrics:

There's many a strange impulse out on the plains of West Texas;
There's many a young boy who feels things he don't comprehend.
Well small town don't like it when somebody falls between sexes,
No, small town don't like it when a cowboy has feelings for men.

Well I believe in my soul that inside every man there's a feminine,
And inside every lady there's a deep manly voice loud and clear.
Well, a cowboy may brag about things that he does with his women,
But the ones who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer.

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other”
What did you think those saddles and boots was about?
There's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels
towards his brother,
Inside every cowboy there's a lady who'd love to slip out.

Ten men for each woman was the rule way back when on the prairie,
And somehow those cowboys must have kept themselves warm late at night.
Cowboys are famous for getting riled up about fairies,
But I'll tell you the reason a big strong man gets so uptight:

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other”
That's why they wear leather, and Levi's and belts buckled tight.
There's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels
towards his brother;
There's many a cowboy who's more like a lady at night.

Well there's always somebody who says what the others just whisper,
And mostly that someone's the first one to get shot down dead:
When you talk to a cowboy don't treat him like he was a sister
Don't mess with the lady that's sleepin' in each cowboy's head.

Cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other”
Even though they take speed and drive pickups and shoot their big guns;
There's many a cowboy who don't understand the way that he feels
towards his brother;
There's many a cowboy who keeps quiet about things he's done.

Cancelled?..... What do you mean my flight's been cancelled?

So, those who've been reading for a while know that...... Aunt P and I kidnapped my mother (Granny) and whisked her off to Vegas for a pre-60th birthday celebration. I was brave, I left the 'lil Duby behind, as I know that despite the fact that he's been there before.... Vegas is no place for the 'lil man. In fairness, it would have been easier on me to bring him along.... leaving him killed me -- but would the long plane ride and hotel stay be the "right" thing for him?...... after much deliberation and discussion with the Big Dubya -- we came to the conclusion that leaving him behind would be for the best. I struggled with the decision, but came to the conclusion that I wasn't leaving him with strangers -- I was leaving him with his father and that it really was the best thing to do..... so, on Wednesday of last week..... off I went.

Granny was shocked by the surprise...... she cried when we told her where we were going..... little did she know, the surprises would keep on coming. Uncle Ro-Ro met us there about an hour after we landed..... my cousin Duphis, who lives in CA, met us there and treated us all to a fancy dinner on Thursday night. She was Queen for a few days and it was worth every minute. We had a wonderful time and then Saturday came and I was the happiest girl ever.... I was coming home to my men. There really is no place like home..... and nothing like a few days away to make you appreciate it. We noticed that the news was reporting that a snow storm was expected in Boston, but that wasn't until Sunday..... I naively thought that I'd fly into Boston and drive to CT just in time to spend Sunday afternoon playing with my 'lil man in front of the fire.

Imagine my shock and dismay when we learned on Saturday afternoon that our flight home was CANCELLED in anticipation of this puny little snow storm expected to hit the northeast. I couldn't believe it..... WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? I asked Aunt P, the seasoned traveler of the group....... oh, don't worry, she reassured me, we'll just get on a later flight.

Aunt P called the airline only to learn that not only was our Saturday flight cancelled, but all flights for Sunday were also cancelled. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? I asked again. She chatted away to the representative on the phone and I started to hear something about TUESDAY......

TUESDAY????? Are you f'ing kidding me.... I'm stuck here 'til TUESDAY????

Aunt P got off the phone...... basically, the soonest they could get us on a flight was Monday evening. Of course, it would not be the direct flight we had booked.... oh, no..... first they'd fly us from Las Vegas to California where we'd loiter for a few hours (yes, I consider "layover" to be an airport euphemism for loiter) and then we'd get to fly to Boston..... at which point I'd get to jump in my car and drive the 2 ½ hours home to CT arriving home around lunchtime on f'ing Tuesday.

This was unacceptable to me, but what could I do? I tried calling the airline myself and despite the very courteous woman on the phone who promised that she'd love to help me get back to my tiny little baby..... there was nothing she could do.... there were no flights to be had. I cried, and whined and cried some more..... the Big Dubya had a hard time hiding his disappointment on the phone -- it sounded like he was ready for me to come home too, but it was not in the cards.

We tried to make the most of it.... we spent a day downtown where my brother actually convinced my mother that she should try a deep-fried-twinkie! Aunt P & I stuck to these.... and more than just one.

We finally got a flight out on Monday evening.... we were to fly from Las Vegas, NV to Long Beach, CA (yes, the opposite direction of CT) and then from Long Beach to Boston. We arrived at the airport only to learn that our flight was delayed and we wouldn't be leaving for another 4 hours.......

Eventually, we managed to leave Las Vegas and when we arrived in Long Beach I got to see the smallest airport ever built.... I mean, this place was smaller than my living room...... there are 3 gates.... and our flight left from gate 4 -- I only wish I was joking........ I soon learned that gate 4 amounted to a shed behind the double-wide that housed the other 3 gates. Once onboard I pledged to never leave home again......

We landed in Boston safe and sound and I was thrilled to know that in 3 short hours I'd be holding my precious baby boy....... we collected our bags and Mr Tall Guy picked us up.... he was kind enough to bring a shovel so he could help me dig out my car. I was shocked to see that there was hardly any snow on the ground...... THIS puny amount of snow kept me in Las Vegas for 3 extra days???? UGHHHH -- we got to my car and the clearing wasn't too bad.... I could drive over it easy enough..... that is of course if my car would start -- you guessed it dear readers..... I had a dead battery.

Mr Tall Guy was kind enough to take one for the team and go get the Massport guy to come over and give us a jump..... I got back in Aunt P's car and just laughed like a mental patient..... there was nothing more that could go wrong, right?

In the end, I did make it home and the 'lil Dubya did remember me..... and I swear, I'll never leave home again.

M'am..... Miss......

I know I just did an age post recently, but..... today called for another one.

I recently bought myself a new cute outfit that calls for new cute shoes.... in navy blue! Well, I've been everywhere and curse my small feet.... I can't find a decent pair of navy blue shoes in my size to save my life. I never thought I'd see the day where I'd be praying for size 8 or 9 feet..... but I am..... I found so many pairs of wonderful navy blue shoes..... in size 8, 9 even 10 but could I find a pair of 6½????? NOOOOOOO!

Anyway, to make myself feel better.... I decided to skip lunch and grab a McDonald's milkshake (nutritious, huh?) and in the spirit of saving time, I hit the drive through. I placed my order.... $2.36 for a shake? hmmmm kind of pricey (the Big Dubya usually pays for my shakes) and I went to the first window..... a woman older than my mother took my money.... and then said "Thank you, M’am" M’am??? you call me M’am????? I was thoroughly confused, and a little insulted.

To add insult to injury, I went to the second window to get my over-priced shake and the dude gave it to me "Here ya go, Miss" Miss???? you call me Miss??? I was even more confused and definitely insulted.

I'm not sure what I want them to call me.... do they have to call me anything?.... but, M’am and Miss are not it......

Obsolete cell phones out the wazu

If you are anything like the Dubyas.... you've got old cell phones a' plenty kicking around the house.

When we were first dating, I was with Bell Atlantic Mobile and the Big Dubya was with some other service I don't even remember the name of it..... the service was crap.

He switched over to Sprint, I switched to AT&T..... again, both services were crap.

We got a bit more serious in our relationship and we switched again.... this time to a joint plan with Voicestream..... service was excellent.... 'til we moved and then we were back to crap.

Next came Cingular..... which was better, but..... still not great and then -- you guessed it, we moved again and back to crapola.

Cingular convinced us that if we upgraded to digital we'd have better luck and yes, this was true -- service is still not great (we do live in the boonies) but it's much better.

As a result, we have several generations of obsolete cell phones kicking around. So, here's my public service announcement..... (you knew there was some reason for this post, didn't ya??)

You can take these old phones to your local police station and donate them (tax deduction!!!) the police partner up with worthy causes (like battered womens' shelters, etc) and put them to good use with people who need them. Or, another option is to help our troops by donating them here.

If you are feeling less altruistic.... go here, this company buys old cell phones for a small amount of money (somewhere between $5-$20) and gives them a second life in underprivileged areas/countries.

Are you ready for some FOOTBALL????

Hmmm.... the Superbowl...... I'm usually more excited about Superbowl weekend.... I guess that's because the Patriots are usually playing and this year yeah, ummm well not-so-much.

This year I'm torn.... what's the best part of the Superbowl..... the commercials? or the food?

I have no control over the commercials -- if you ask me, the last couple of years they've been kinda crappy anyway, but.... I can help you make the best damn dip EVAH (that's Boston-speak for "ever")

Buffalo Chicken Dip
2 8-oz pkgs of cream cheese
3/4 cup of hot sauce (I use Frank's Red Hot Buffalo Wing Sauce)
1 cup of Ranch Dressing (I used Hidden Valley Ranch)
Shredded Cheddar Cheese

Mix cream cheese, hot sauce and ranch dressing -- (a food processor works really well here, otherwise it takes forever to mix until smooth.... it still tastes the same if its not smooth, but it looks a bit sketchy with lumps and chunks) -- pour into shallow baking dish -- fold in a good handful of cheddar cheese -- Bake at 350 for 15 minutes top with a handful of cheddar and bake for 10- 15 more minutes. It's really wicked easy (that's Boston-speak for it's a simple recipe)

Serve hot with tortilla chips or Fritos scoops

Some notes:
1. You can fold in chicken as well cheddar... the originally recipe called for canned chicken (2 of the tuna-sized-cans), but that grossed me out and I find that the recipe is just as delicious without the canned chicken, so.... do what you like..... but I skip it
2. This makes a ton of dip.... for a smaller group, you can use half amounts and it turns out just fine.
3. It's Superbowl Sunday so take a diet-vacation -- because, let's be honest -- this recipe is the equivalent of rubbing a tub of Crisco directly on your ass..... but it's really, really good.
4. Lastly, every time we are invited someplace people ask me to make & bring this or they just ask for the recipe outright..... it's very, very popular! If you decide to try it.... let me know how it goes!

Enjoy!

Where is jail?

Such a strange question......

I'm a good girl.... have always been a good girl..... and even when I thought I was being a real bad-ass, I was really just Holly Hobby letting her braids down. I mean, I never hung with bad kids.... I never got into trouble.... my definition of "bad" was really just mischevious.... so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I don't know where jail is.

My brother called me this morning -- apparently a cousin of ours landed himself in some hot water recently. Overall he's a good kid, but he's got really, really bad judgment. He's one of those kids who got caught every single time he did anything even slightly wrong..... he should know better than to take chances.... and to make matters worse, he's got a mouth on him. He thinks he's very charming -- but it's so fake..... people can see right through him.... and it just gets him in deeper.

Anyway, he's got to serve 90 days..... and innocently, I asked where.

Mrs Big Dubya: So, where's he gotta go?
Brother Ro-Ro: Jail
Mrs Big Dubya: Hmmmm, where's jail?
Brother Ro-Ro: I dunno... Could be Dedham, could be South Bay.... I think there's one over on Nashau Street by the Fleet Center.... I dunno... I've never known anybody who had to go to jail. I don't think they'd send him someplace really bad.... it's not like he's going to prison... he's just going to jail.

I'm not sure why I'm surprised that I don't know where jail is.... but it did strike me as odd.

Is this the same dog?

Geez, I'm just wondering.....

Happy Monday!

What people do at highway rest areas?

As I mentioned in yesterday's post..... I made the trek back to Boston on Friday. The 'lil man was outstanding..... both on the ride and in the restaurant we met Aunt P for lunch at.

Saturday was a very busy day too..... I got up and went for a pedicure with Aunt P.... Granny babysat, which was a nice treat. Next, Aunt P and I took the 'lil man to visit his other grandparents, the Big Dubya's parents. He was a doll..... charmed the pants right off them. After that visit, we picked up Granny and went out for lunch --- pureed peaches weren't on the menu, so the 'lil man decided to just sit in his seat and snooze. After lunch, we went wedding-gown shopping for Aunt P (she still claims that she's gonna marry Mr Tall Guy, but we still have no firm date).

The 'lil Dubya could not have been better..... he woke up and just started yammering away to all the ladies in the shop. One woman couldn't take her eyes off of him and kept promising (threatening) to "put him on a cracker!". Someone's gonna have to explain to me why people think I want to hear how they are going to eat my child, but I digress.

Okay, all of this goodness had to end, right? YUP..... and of course, it happened on the Mass Pike on the way back last night. At that point in the trip, there isn't a whole lot I can do.... we are still a good hour and a half from home.... and an hour into the trip.... turning back was not an option either. We stopped at a service area, had half a bottle and that seemed to calm him down.... so, we got back on the road. Of course, after about 5 minutes he started to scream again..... what can I do? I pulled into a "picnic area".....these places are so sketchy. There was a pick-up truck, two 18-wheelers and a limo..... a limo? you take a limo to a highway rest area?

Focus, I must focus on the child..... I locked the doors and climbed into the backseat. Once I flipped on the interior light the 'lil man calmed down again..... hmmmmm..... interesting...... could it be? .......does he just not want to be in the dark? Hmmmmmm I can't exactly drive down interstate 84 with my interior light on, or could I? Well, maybe if I could dim it a little..... if only I had some tape........ so yes, I used a diaper.... I used the tabs on the diaper to tape it over the light. The 'lil Dubya seemed a bit amused to see his Pamper dangling from the ceiling of the car and we got back on the road. 10 minute s later, he was screeching again..... we pulled into a rest stop yet again..... more random cars..... all of these people can't have screaming babies.... are they really having secret rendez-vous? Oh dear..... focus Mrs Big Dubya, F-O-C-U-S.... after the second half of that bottle and some good old-fashioned cuddling (yeah, new fangled cuddling was probably happening in those other cars) I was finally able to get the 'lil Dubya back to sleep and he stayed that way for the rest of the trip.

Family Restrooms

Being that we made the all-too-frequent jaunt from our humble home in CT to our hometown just south of Boston this weekend.... we had yet another opportunity to take advantage of what is known as a "Family Restroom" at a rest stop on the Mass Pike. Anyone whose had the opportunity to travel (or even just to go out in public) with a child knows how great these restrooms can be..... enables parents to use the bathroom while keeping an eye on their little ones..... change a diaper.... help a toddler "go potty" -- I do however, have a bit of a complaint. I'm thinking that these facilities must have been designed by men..... I don't say this as a slag at men, but...... because the changing tables (similar to those pictured above) are never located anywhere near a sink..... How are you supposed to wash your hands after you've changed a baby's diaper? You certainly can't leave the baby lying on that flip down table while you dash across the bathroom to wash up..... and trying to wash your hands while holding your baby is a pain in the butt. If the Big Dubya's with me, I end up bringing the babe out handing him off and going back in for a hand-washing..... when I'm on my own, I do what I can..... but wouldn't it make more sense to just design these facilities a bit better? The Westfarms Mall has a changing station with a sink built in (must have been a mother that designed it!)

Just a thought....

Then again, I suppose I should be grateful for the number of places that have such changing tables..... I mean, the ideal situation is the family restroom -- either a mother or a father can attend to the little one's plumbing needs. In second place is the mens/ladies room that has the changing station inside.... granted, not quite as convenient -- but fine nonetheless -- enables you to change a diaper with relative ease. However, I met Aunt P at a restaurant for lunch on my way back to Boston yesterday -- we went to the cutest little Italian place, Il Forno. At first I was a little concerned.... not everywhere is baby-friendly, but honestly -- the people there couldn't have been nicer. The waitresses and the hostess went out of their way to make sure we had everything we needed for the 'lil guy. Our very adorable waiter even went so far as to offer to hold/occupy him so that I could eat my meal..... granted, we didn't take advantage of this very kind offer -- but the gesture was certainly appreciated. The food was amazing by the way, and very reasonable.... but, there was no changing station in the restroom! I had to change the 'lil man's diaper in the car! Now, granted -- we change his diaper in the car all the time, but.... it's January, in New England..... it's cold out and after sitting in a restaurant for an hour.... the car had gotten chilly!

How old is Mrs Big Dubya?

So..... in general, I've been a bit less than open with my coworkers about my age. I know that I'm younger than most, older than some, but..... I don't know.... the older I get, the less I like people knowing.

In the past couple of days, I've been discussing a new job opportunity with a big cheese at work. In the course of the conversation, I asked him if he'd like a copy of my resume.... to help get familiar with the work I did prior to joining the firm I'm with now. At first he said no, and then he said yes..... so, I scampered home and dusted off the old resume and added some of the stuff I've done lately. The Big Dubya was a champ and did his best proof-reading work..... but I was suddenly struck by the fact that all of the positions I've held since graduating college were all there in black & white..... including the dates!

The jig is up..... they are all going to know how old I am!!

Now, I know that when I interview somebody, I usually do some quick math to see how old/young the person is..... why would I expect anything less from anyone else?

I considered omitting my first job or two out of college.... they aren't that important anyway, right? Then I thought about it some more and realized that they might take my years of work experience into account when they calculate my new salary...... hmmmmm money..... I suppose it's not a big deal, but.... Ugh, I hate getting old.

I'm such a joiner

I just couldn't help myself.... the Big Dubya, Cape Buffalo.... all the kids are doin' it

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Mrs Big Dubya!
1. Mrs Big Dubya is only six percent water (feels more like sixty percent).
2. Mrs Big Dubya can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders (The Big Dubya slays spiders on my behalf).
3. A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted Mrs Big Dubya (ooohhh, strong like bull).
4. The liquid inside Mrs Big Dubya can be used as a substitute for blood plasma! (I guess I am pretty good in a crisis, huh)
5. Mrs Big Dubya can pollinate up to six times more efficiently than the honeybee (Just call me fertile myrtle -- Hubby, I'll be home at 6:30!).
6. All the moons of the Solar System are named after characters from Greek and Roman mythology, except the moons of Uranus, which are named after Mrs Big Dubya (Awesome... it had to be Uranus!)
7. Only one child in twenty will be born on the day predicted by Mrs Big Dubya. (Just as accurate as an ultrasound!)
8. Mrs Big Dubya has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean (all this and atheltic too!).
9. In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Mrs Big Dubya in your mouth (Not touchin' it!).
10. Mrs Big Dubya is born white; her pink feathers are caused by pigments in her typical diet of shrimp! (make mine with cocktail sauce... the spicy kind!)

Tax Time

Yes friends.... it's that time of year yet again.... it's time for me to get all pissed off and foul-mouthed over the obscene amount of taxes the Dubyas have to pay each year.

Our friends all told us that "once you buy a house, you'll have some deductions....you guys pay a lot of taxes because you are married and you don't own anything yet". Then it was, "once you have kids.... you'll have some more deductions.... you pay a lot of taxes because you have no dependents."

Well dear readers..... we bought a house..... he had a baby..... and you know what? that is a load of bona fide bull-shit! Yes, you heard me.... I said bull-shit!

I've discovered that the Dubyas made a big mistake early on in their young adult lives.... they went and got educated! That, my friends, was mistake #1. Mistake #2 was that they chose to work hard.... hard enough to move up in their organizations.... increase their level of responsibility and in some cases enjoy a certainl level of success in their chosen careers. Because, usually (if you are doing it right) along with hard work and success comes a reward..... CASH. I'm not going to pretend that I get up every morning and leave my precious little man because I want the fulfillment --Ummmm NO! -- I'm not afraid to admit it.... I go to work for one reason, and one reason only....BECAUSE THEY PAY ME!!! And let's take it one step further, my theory is that if we can't afford for me to stay home.... (and, we can't) and I have to go to work.... then I'm going to work my tail off and get them to pay me as much as possible....for working as little as possible. I'm not leaving my little man for anything less than the most I can get out of them. So many women won't say that they work for the money.... but I'll say it.... I work for the money. I went to college, I went to graduate school -- and sure, getting smarter was nice, but I did it because it meant I could earn more money.... I could live more comfortably.... shallow? sure, but it's the truth -- it's my truth.

Now, if you told me 5 years ago that I'd be getting paid what I get paid now and yet, I'd still spend the majority of my time flat broke..... I would have laughed in your face. But it's true.... and you know why it's true??? Because, after paying Uncle Sam and then for our health insurance, our dental insurance, our life insurance..... putting a modest amount into my 401K.... I get to take home somewhere in the neighborhood of 54% of my paycheck..... AND, that's before I pay the nice women who watch my 'lil guy every day! That's also before I pay property tax or excise tax.

I'm not entirely sure I couldn't do better collecting cans

Mending Fences

So, a few weeks ago I was reading one of my new favorite blogs where the writer shared five confessions -- this is probably what spurred me onto my guilty pleasures post. Anyway, I couldn't help it..... I was dying to know what the hell Beth did to this Hillary woman that it was still gnawing at her 14 years later..... oh, and for the record, I recognize that it's none of my business, but I still want to know.

Anyway, it got me to thinking about my own life.... my own friendships..... and any fences that I should have mended down through the years, but.... for one reason or another never did.

One came to mind..... it's been bothering me for years and years..... but what should I do about it?

It was about 10 years ago, I was fresh out of college. I had a very close girlfriend... ladies, you all know this friend. She's the one you used to cut class to go to the mall with.... the one that was shaped nothing like you but somehow managed to wear the exact same size in just about everything. She was the one you shared all your clothes with.... your wing-woman, your partner in crime.... she picked up the pieces when you had a fight with your boyfriend.... and kept her mouth shut about what a jerk he was when you went back to him anyway.

She and I were inseparable my junior year in college -- she was a senior and our boyfriends were roommates..... even after the boyfriends were no more..... we still had each other. We did everything together and when she graduated, I couldn't imagine having to go back to school without her. Of course I did, and she came to visit often.

After graduation, she got really serious about a guy.... and forgot rule #1.... never blow off your friends for a guy. She called one day to break plans with us to go out with him, yet again. I snapped and was terrible to her..... I totally let her have it and we never spoke again.

Over the years I've thought about tracking her down many, many times..... I've even told our other friends (who'd also lost track of her) that I was going to do it..... but I didn't.

I was sorry we fought, sorry we lost touch, sorry we never fixed it. I heard through the grapevine that she married the guy.... but still, I couldn't get up the courage to look her up.

Well, after reading Beth's post and her regret over this Hillary person (c'mon Beth, what did ya do, huh? I won't tell anyone -- promise!) I decided that it was time to bite the bullet. So, I looked up my friend..... it took some creative internet research (what did people do before the internet???), but I found her work email address and then I deliberated.... hemmed and hawed for days and days..... then I decided to pull the trigger..... On Tuesday morning I sent her an email. Email is safe..... a phone call would be awkward..... email is perfect for a giant chicken like me. I basically told her that I was sorry for that argument, sorry we lost touch and that although I don't expect us to go back to being friends -- I wished her well.

The second I hit "send" I felt like my karma had been through some sort of deep cleansing ritual.... It was like, now at least I can say that I tried.... now, the ball is in her court.

At the same time there was a weird sense of anticipation...... would she receive my note well? would she respond at all? would she appreciate the effort? would she think I had become one of those pathetic people we used to make fun of? or worse, would she think that I was some sort of nut-job stalker?

I waited..... it was like when I was single.... wondering if "that guy" would call..... hoping he would, but not knowing what to say if he did

The wait was tough..... but it was short...... I got a response within a couple of hours..... and it was positive. Turns out, she felt bad too.... missed me..... had thought of getting in touch many times..... but also, never did. She didn't think I was nuts.... it almost seemed like she appreciated the gesture.

Over the past few days we've been catching up via email..... and I feel so good about it. Again, I don't expect us to go back to being inseparable.... we're grown ups now (well, sort of) and grown ups generally don't share each other's clothes and take turns putting dinner on an already-over-extended credit card. But it's a wonderful feeling that this unfinished business is no longer dangling out there.

I do have to say, it is extremely odd when someone asks you what you've been up to and you have to attempt to summarize the past 10 years of your life in a few sentences for an email.... Hmmmm, changed jobs a couple times, got married, went to and graduated from Grad School, bought a house, moved out of state, had a baby...... I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm glad we are getting to know each other again -- and that we can resolve any hurt feelings that have lingered for all these years.

So, thanks Beth..... and honestly, if any of my 5 readers have a fence to mend.... I strongly recommend doing it.... it's hard..... it requires more courage than I usually have (email helps with this) but, it really feels great -- and I'm guessing that the person on the receiving end will probably feel pretty good to.

Farewell Christmas

Not sure why, but this year.... I'm having a hard time letting go of Christmas.

Maybe it's because it was the 'lil guy's first.... but putting all the stuff away is just bringing me down. Don't get me wrong -- I hate Christmas shopping....and all the stress and family-nonsense associated with the holiday itself..... I keep swearing to the Big Dubya that next year we are just staying home. But it seems like this year... Christmas was that much more special..... and now, it's all over......

The house has lost that pine scent..... the mantle just has a few pictures, now. There is no more excitement when we go to the mailbox.... we know there aren't anymore photos of friends' children coming.... just bills from holiday over-spending. The neighborhood is a bit dark now.... as the holiday lights are slowly but surely coming down.

There is no holiday quite like Christmas...... and it's only 341 days away

Guilty Pleasures

Isn't it funny?..... Everyone has guilty pleasures. You know, those really stupid things that you enjoy -- but are totally and utterly embarrassed that you do.... and are oh so mortified at the possibility that people might find out..... For some people it's TV shows.... I remember guys in college who refused to go out until after Melrose Place (the Big Dubya still claims he used to tape it for his brother.... uh-huh, sure you did)..... they wouldn't admit that this was the reason, but it was..... we all knew it was. I find it now with reality shows.... sure, in the beginning a guy who watched Survivor was cool -- but, what man isn't a little ashamed to admit he watches American Idol or Dancing with the Stars? I mean c'mon?

In the spirit of openness.... I thought I'd share some of my personal guilty pleasures....sharing isn't easy for me, but..... it's a new year, I ought to try some new things -- who knows, maybe some of you will be overcome by your desire to share your own guilty pleasures..... and you'll be inspired to de-lurk.... anyway, here they are..... in no particular order

1. General Hospital -- have been watching on-and-off since I was 7 years old. I had totally kicked the habit.... and then we got Dish Network.... which offers SoapNet.... now I can watch GH several times a day.... I can even watch a marathon of the previous week's episodes on weekends -- it's a sickness people! Oh, and Aunt P called today to say Robert Scorpio is coming back!

2. SoapNet..... yeah, well.... see #1

3. Taco Bell. Yes, I know -- everyone has a weakness for fastfood once in a while.... But, I love it all -- McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's..... but Taco Bell is like the very bottom of the fast food chain. I mean, does anybody know what kind of "meat" they use in those Meximelts??? Well, you know what?..... I dunno and I don't care -- they are yummy dammit!! oh, and while you are at it -- make mine with Fire Sauce

4. Tabloids -- they are like train wrecks.... I can't help myself. Now, in fairness -- I don't buy them.... but while standing in the check-out line, I can't help but wonder.... what kind of drugs did Tom Cruise start taking? and is that really his baby? will her family stage an intervention and stop all this couch-jumping-madness?

5. YooHoo! Yes, I know.... the whole concept is just gross -- it's not really milk, but it does include "milk product" -- I don't care.... it's luscious chocolaty heaven in a gorgeous yellow bottle -- and for years, I just couldn't get enough of it.....the Big Dubya used to have to go fetch it for me at all hours..... But I did it -- I quit..... I got that big delicious chocolaty monkey off my back -- but every day's a struggle.

6. Rolling Rock..... (Rolling Rock Lite too) -- something about this premium beer from the glass-lined tanks of Old Latrobe..... add a slice of lime.... so refreshing -- 33 people, 33

7. Chicken patties..... you know the ones I mean.... those round chicken patties that are served in every grade school, high school and college in America. When I was in college they were known as "chicken pucks" as they resembled hockey pucks.... I've also heard them called "cluck pucks".... and "door stops". They aren't at all nutritional, but with a hamburger roll they totally versatile.... add some marinara & cheese.... chicken parm sandwich.... add some buffalo sauce.... buffalo chicken sandwich.... the possibilities are endless with these beauties!

8. Speaking of chicken..... that chicken they have at the Japanese place on the food court. I know it's loaded up with fat.... and whatever that stuff they squirt all over it is, but man is it goooood. I can't go to the mall without passing through the food court to see if they are giving out the chicken samples.

9. Keeping on the sample track..... I love when they give out samples at the market..... you know when they set up at the end of an aisle and let you try the "featured product". I never intend on buying it -- it's usually food that simply would not eat -- but trying a tiny taste often satisfies a curiosity..... BJs has these samples on a regular basis.

I was hoping to round this out to make an even 10..... but, I'm kind of struggling here for 1 more..... well, the last couple have been a stretch -- I'm sure they exist.... I just can't seem to get my little brain to cough 'em up and I'm a bit too impatient to delay the post -- so..... here they are.... I'll update if I'm struck with some more.... please feel free to share your own guilty pleasures

PS Happy Friday!

Girl Scout Cookies

So, here I am.... at work.... and, like so many people in the big-bad-business world, lately I've been inundated with parents selling Girl Scout Cookies for their daughter, niece, cousin.....

Now, I am a product of Catholic Schools.... 12 years of Catholic School to be specific.... so I know what it's like to have to pedal this kind of stuff. Chocolates, calendars, gift-wrap..... we were constantly being asked to sell stuff to supplement our exorbitant tuition. My parents hated the idea of asking friends & neighbors to buy stuff -- my Mom stayed at home and my Dad was in construction.... so it wasn't like he was going to ask the fellows on his crew if they'd like to buy a nifty scented candle. As a result, it wasn't unusual for me to be among the lowest-sellers in the class.... a humiliating position to hold..... but character building nonetheless. That is, of course, unless we were selling these..... Dad was good for buying a couple of cases of those on his own.

Anyway, it's hard to buy from one co-worker and not from another -- so I end up buying a box from just about everybody on our floor..... what does this add up to.... a bunch of damn cookies that I don't even like that much. I suppose it's not really that I don't like them... these ones are quite good with a mug o' tea -- but for what you get.... they are expensive! I mean really -- $4 for 16 cookies? Based on my math..... the Girl Scouts should hook up with Nabisco. You can get a pack of 34 Oreos for $1.88 on sale at Stop & Shop this week.

In other news -- although I haven't been writing about it, I have been fairly good on my diet. Sadly, I gained back some of the fluid weight I lost from being sick earlier in the week, but I'm still down about 7lbs from Christmas -- not too shabby. I'd be happy with 6-8 more..... hmmmm, I'd be ecstatic with 10 more, hell.... 14 more, I'd be damn close to orgasmic -- But..... we should probably stay in the real world -- if I could get down 6 more I think I could be pretty damn giddy.

My featured diet product for today are Kashi Bars.

Now, I can be honest..... the first time I had them -- I thought they tasted like wood. But, I hate to waste food and decided I'd finish the box..... I'm hooked. They are expensive -- but you can either get them on sale at the supermarket or you can get a variety pack at BJs.

The Numbers:
Calories 130
Fat 5 grams
Carbs 20 grams
Fiber 4 grams
WW points 2

Please note..... this is still delurking week.... and I'd love to learn I have more than 5 readers :)

I felt yucky!

So sorry for the lack of posts as of late..... Mrs Big Dubya got a nasty dose of some sort of stomach flu. It started off on Saturday night when the Patriots trounced the Jags..... Mr Big Dubya enjoyed a couple of adult beverages, while Mrs Big Dubya decided to polish off a bottle of wine. So, on Sunday when Mrs Big Dubya woke up feeling less than 100%, Mr Big Dubya replied with a whitty..... are you sure you aren't just hung-over? I couldn't argue.... it certainly was a possibility, but I didn't feel hung-over.... I felt sick. Around noontime the 'lil guy needed a nap, so I decided the two of us would lie down together.... and it was all down hill from there. I don't want to be too graphic, but let's just say this was not a hang-over!

The Big Dubya was a champ..... he went above and beyond the call of duty. In addition to taking care of the 'lil man who has a miserable cold, he waited on me hand-and-foot and tackled the unpleasant load of laundry that resulted after the 'lil man puked all over himself, me & our bed.

Fortunately, I am back to normal today -- and, on the bright side -- this has done wonders for my diet.

I'm so bad at these things

I'm really terrible at these things.... mostly because I'm not witty or clever.... I come up with the same old bland answers that everyone else comes up with.... then I read somebody else's answers and wish I had thought of those, but I didn't..... and so then I feel lame. But I want you people to like me.... I mean REALLY like me... not just read my blog to be polite or because I'm this guy's wife..... So, here it goes:

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot.
ChildsplayX2
the Weirdgirl
Cynical Dad
Cape Buffalo
Mrs Big Dubya

Select five people to play (but only if they want to).
Consider you, you, you, yep you and you there in the back (didn't think I could see you, did ya?). I'd call you by name, but the few readers that I know by name have already been tagged and the rest of you choose to remain anonymous, so..... there ya go.

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was just getting back from an adventure in Florida/the Bahamas with my closest girl friend Jill. We got drunk and bought a timeshare.... which we still use to take vacations we couldn't otherwise afford. She was hoping her man was going to propose soon.... I was hoping to find a man who could keep up with me -- but I had rules. I wouldn't accept a weekend date.... dates were for weeknights.... otherwise it would interfere with my weekend-binge-drinking lifestyle (Wow, 10 years ago, I was really, really young!) I was broke, had an apartment and a car I couldn't afford.... but had a lot of fun.

What were you doing one year ago?
We were just getting back from Disney.... I was about 15 weeks pregnant and constantly nauseous/vomiting/exhausted. It was a really wonderful time in our lives..... Dubya had just gotten a job that he loved and we were finally expecting a baby.... no baby was ever more loved or wanted than this one..... it was a wonderful, magical time.... we didn't think it could get any better, but then it did.

Five snacks you enjoy:
Pizza
French fries (bonus if they are the good, thick, hand-cut ones and covered in curry!)
Anything that involves being deep-fried or covered, no slathered in cheese
Ice Cream
Fancy coffee drinks (hey, put 'nuf stuff in 'em.... they can be quite filling)

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
In fairness, I'm terrible w/ music.... not sure how I'm so bad, but I am..... I don't know who sings anything or the words or the names of bands or albums..... I like music, but..... I just have no head for it -- but to be a sport:
Copacabana
The Happiest Girl in the Whole USA (which Dubya knows now too, he didn't wanna, but...)
Rubber Ducky
Forever in Blue Jeans
Cecelia

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
Stop worrying about our bills -- pay off everything!
Financially take care of our families
Set up college funds for the children of our friends
Take all our pals on an obnoxious vacation
Quit my job

Five bad habits:
Procrastination
Trying to please everybody
Convincing myself we "need" things we can't really afford
Impatience
Ordering Take-Out

Five things you like doing:
Loafing at home w/ the Dubyas
Traveling
Cooking (and having the experiments turn out to be more than just edible)
Shopping (when I'm having a skinny day and stuff actually fits)
Laughing

Five things you would never wear or buy again:
Skidz (the most unflattering pants ever manufactured)
Two-tone jeans (yes, I had 'em.... I even had a pair in purple!)
Miracle Bra (the thing was bullet-proof, it could stand alone)
A perm (they called it a "body-wave")
Gosh, remember those Dynasty-era shoulder pads? it was like wearing pillows on your shoulders!

Five favorite toys:
Tivo
Laptop
Caller ID (thanks Kara!)
Sonicare toothbrush
Update: Roomba (thanks for the help Aunt P)
But I still think Dubya could go buy me a PDA :)

Riding in the lap of luxury

My mother (Granny) is turning the big four-oh this year (well, actually the big six-oh, but we are humoring her). In celebration of this momentous milestone, Aunt P and I are surprising her with a surprise long-weekend in Las Vegas. My mother is a cute Irish lady who loves Bingo and slot machines.... to her, Las Vegas is a slice of heaven.... the only thing that makes it sweeter for her is that it's a surprise and she doesn't have to pay!

Aunt P and I have been conspiring for months.... and the plans have really started to take shape in the past few days.... to the point where we have a weekend selected, we've booked flights, we've booked a hotel and we've concocted a story that Granny has bought -- hook, like and sinker!

In the course of making the final arrangements -- I thought, hey -- wouldn't it be icing on the cake if we got a limo to take us to the airport? As it turns out, it only costs slightly more than three tickets on the Logan Express (shuttle bus from our hometown to the airport) and it's quite a bit more impressive. So, I started to poke around the internet..... trying to find a good deal that I could use to coerce Aunt P with (she's far more sensible about this stuff than I am) and I found and ad for this place and thought it must be a joke -- people actually get limos for "Baby's First Ride"? and for this place. Are you kidding me? There are parents out there that get limos for Kid's birthday parties???? "Bring your child and his/her friends out for a birthday celebration! Go to Fun World, Pizza, Ice Cream or anywhere in the local area."

My mother, the woman who has given us the world is turning 60 and I'm wondering if a limo to the airport is a wee bit too extravagant -- and there are nutjobs out there who are renting limos for children's outings????

UGHHH!

Just an update.....
A kind reader sent a comment via the Big Dubya.... I didn't realize I wasn't accepting comments from everyone.... OOPS..... all fixed now.
Thanks!

Mariah Carey and Charo..... Separated at Birth?

Does anybody else see it?I mean, over the weekend I saw several interviews with Mariah Carey.... who was busting out of her outfit (just like Charo) and speaking very poor English (at least Charo has an excuse)..... and all I kept wondering was..... hmmmmm, if they ever decide to make Love Boat the Movie, she'd be a terrific Charo



Coochi, Coochi

Farewell 2005, Welcome 2006

As I sat on the couch cuddling my teething baby and waiting for the clock to strike 12, I couldn't imagine a year better than 2005. I know how selfish that is.... so much sadness and tragedy this year.... Katrina, Rita, war, earthquakes...... but the Dubyas were blessed beyond our wildest dreams.... and to hope for anything more in '06 would be ludicrous!

Resolutions..... I've never been one for resolutions.... sure, stick to the diet.... but this year, I'll try to make a few more meaningful ones -- and they are as follows:

I will try to remember to take more pictures.... I've been better this year, but even still I remember to bring the camera places, but manage to forget to use it!

I will try to remind the Big Dubya (he's more skilled than I) to take more video.... last year we used our Christmas money to buy a nice video camera because we knew the 'lil guy was coming.... we need to use it more!

I will try to work less.... I spend too much time at work and not enough time at home.... my goal is to work just enough to do a good job and get paid.....

I will try to eat healthier.... lose a few pounds.... not because of the vain reasons (and the skinny jeans that miss the light of day) but because I'll have more energy for my 'lil man

I will try to keep on top of the housework..... 'cause I'm less grumpy when the house is clean

None of them are profound or difficult (I could have resolved to be a better person or something unattainable like that!) ..... but they are doable.

Today's featured diet product: Fresca!



I remember my mother drinking it in the '70s, but it's still yummy! They have some nifty new flavors (peach?, black cherry?) which I think are unnecessary (I tried the peach, but prefer the original) but.... to each his own.
The Numbers:
Calories o
Fat 0 grams
Carbs 0 grams
Fiber 0 grams

New Year's Eve

As a quick PS (is it still a PS when it comes at the beginning???) Matthew over at Childs Play put together a Holiday Traditions collection..... check it out.... the Big Dubya and I even contributed.... albeit at the last possible minute (hmmmmm, kinda like this notice, huh?)


Today is day 3 of the diet..... and I'm still sticking with it. I'm down 2 1/2 lbs and I'm feeling really good about myself. Now, if we were being honest (which we aren't) we would admit that the 2 1/2 lbs really just represents a reversal of the bloat that occurred after I pickled myself with wine on Christmas Day. But, we are choosing to ignore that fact and are going to take any progress as encouragement and keep plugging along.

Today is also New Year's Eve..... as I sit here typing, I'm reflecting on New Years' past.... last year (NYE 2004) the Big Dubya and I were in Walt Disney World with Aunt P and Mr Tall Guy.... I was about 15ish weeks pregnant.... still really nauseous all day, but happy to be under the warmth of Florida sun, rather than the cold of Connecticut snow. Other years this day has been spent on Martha's Vineyard, in Vail, at home with friends or at various bars in the Boston area. The thing that always mystifies me about New Year's Eve it is everyone's favorite party night, yet it never fails to disappoint -- It's never as good as it's hyped up to be. My strongest memories of New Years' Eves past are of my friend Jill throwing up on my feet while we were on the T, my coat getting stolen out of Finn McCool's (a long-gone Boston bar that was popular with the underage-crowd), my boyfriend (now husband) getting hammered in Denver and leaving the hats he bought at the brewery in the cab -- and my having to beg him to get out of the middle of the street, a bartender yelling at a "regular" for soaking us with a spray of champagne, going to see Jim Plunkett do his silly little show..... all things that could have happened any old night out.

This year might end up being my favorite.... the 'Lil Dubya's first New Year's Eve.... and we'll be home.... hopefully enjoying a nice dinner, a cozy fire.... still not sure if I can stomach a glass of wine, but I'll try :)

Today's featured diet-friendly product is Subway sandwiches.....


If you are trying to eat lighter, eating out or "on-the-go" is darn-near impossible. McDonald's, BK, Wendy's.... they are all useless when it comes to eating light. Yes, I know.... they all offer grilled this and that or salads. Here's the problem -- If I am in McDonald's or Wendy's.... I'M GETTING FRIES! There is no way around it..... I can't go into french fry heaven and not get some..... and not one of those little puny bags either.

The Numbers:
Calories 280
Fat 4.5 grams
Carbs 46 grams
Fiber 4 grams
WW Points 5

This is based on a turkey breast sub on whole wheat bread -- and, you can get all sorts of good veggies.... lettuce, tomato, cucumber, green peppers, onions...... they not only add flavor, but they add crunch which always helps. Their honey mustard is also yummy!

I'm in Love!

No, I don't mean with the Dubyas..... although I do love them both..... this time, I'm talking about my new toothbrush. Last year, I asked for a sonicare toothbrush for Christmas and ended up not getting one.... so, when I noticed that it had made the Big Dubya's list this year.... I decided to do the right thing.... use my child. That's right, the 'Lil Dubya got his parents his & hers sonicare toothbrushes for Christmas this year and let me tell you..... they are f'ing AWESOME! It's like that feeling you have when you walk out of the dentist's office.... my teeth are all clean and smooth -- I wish we'd gotten them a long time ago!

Today is Day #2 of the big diet.... and we're still going strong (don't laugh, this is an accomplishment for me). Today's featured diet product is SALSA......

(Aunt P claims it's a dieter's condiment). Salsa is so versatile -- it can be used on anything.... sandwiches, potatoes, chicken.... it can add some zip to many diet foods which tend to be bland and flavorless.

The Numbers:
Calories 15
Fat 0 grams
Carbs 3 grams
Fiber 1 gram
Weight Watcher Points 0

This is based on 2 tablespoons of Tostito's Medium Salsa, but most brands are have similar nutritional values.

So grab yourself a jar and Cha Cha Cha!

Today's the Day!

I know most people start their diets on January 1st..... and if they are like me.... they tend to fall off the wagon by say January 3rd..... or maybe 4th if they are particularly committed.

But, I've decided to buck tradition and declare that my diet starts today.... that's right my friends.... it's starting today -- Thursday, December 29th. I'm hoping that by stating it here, in public, to a bunch of friends and strangers..... I'll remain true to my pledge to lose 8-12lbs.

Many of you are probably saying.... why not give yourself the next couple of days and start on Monday with the rest of the world? Well, I could do that..... but, no day is better than today.... and I'm feeling particularly motivated today, so..... Today is the Day!

If only they could make dieting a little bit easier.... I mean, they can put a man on the moon, but they can't make a reduced calorie salad dressing that doesn't taste like a chemical spill. And, here's a question..... why does diet food cost more money than junk food? how is that fair to the chubbies of the world????

As I embark upon my quest to get back into my skinny-girl pants, I'm going to use this space to share with you high-quality, good-tasting, reduced calorie foods that I discover along the way -- please feel free to share back.

The first product I am going to profile is Edy's Slow-Churned Light Ice Cream. This stuff is two-thumbs-up..... Way Up! It's so good, that even the Big Dubya will eat it and he won't eat diet anything!!!


The Numbers:
Calories -- 100
Fat -- 3.5 grams
Carbs -- 15 grams
Fiber -- 0 grams
Weight Watcher Points -- 2

Now this is all based on a 1/2 cup serving of vanilla.... other flavors are available for slightly higher numbers.... and I have yet to be disappointed by any I've tried (Chocolate Chip is Amazing!!!)

Now, the real key is keeping the serving size to a measly 1/2 cup (seriously, who eats a 1/2 cup of ice cream????)...... but the skinny-girl jeans are screaming to get out of the closet.... so I am going to do my best!

Honey, while you were at work today I put together the highchair..... but there are a few pieces left over

So, last Friday.... I had the day off and the Big Dubya had to work. We recently started the 'lil man on cereal.... first rice cereal, but that made him a wee bit gassy.... kept him up at night.....Mrs Big Dubya prefers a baby that sleeps.... so we've opted to move to an oatmeal cereal which seems a bit more agreeable. Anyway, we've been feeding him his cereal in his Bumbo chair.... have you seen 'em?

Aunt P got it for him and it looks kinda silly, but it allows a baby who can't really sit up yet, to sit up..... as long as they can support their own head they are good to go in this contraption -- it's actually worked out great for feeding, but... beware.... although the advertisements would lead you to believe baby can't get out of it.... our genius has found a way..... so, keep a close eye.

Anyway, seeing that we're moving to solids (well..... really just thicker liquids) I figured we might as well start thinking about using the highchair -- so, off to the basement I went and the 'lil man and I began to assemble the highchair. In fairness, it was really me assembling and him playing with the cardboard & papers that came in the box.

Now, I don't know about anybody else -- but I think Fisher Price does a shit job with instructions. I am a fairly intelligent and college educated woman.... I have a Masters degree for God's sake.... yet, I need to read, re-read and re-re-read these instructions before I inevitably end up holding up the pieces I have next to those in the picture in order to try to figure out what the hell they are trying to tell me do. I looked mighty sill, but the 'lil guy got a kick out of me wiggling around all these pieces. I eventually got it all put together.... it even looked like a highchair.... but I had some pieces left over. The 'lil guy was growing impatient, so I decided I'd get the Big Dubya to conduct an audit of my assembly job and figure out where I went amok.

Although I think he would have preferred just to do the assembly himself, he graciously agreed to find homes for my left-over pieces and all is right in the world!

Confessions of a Drunk Dialer

So...... this was the Christmas where my mother learned that all three of her children are drunks.... yes, Aunt P, Uncle Ro-ro and Mrs Big Dubya all got HAMMERED for Christmas.

The Dubyas (Big & 'Lil) and I woke up very early on Sunday morning..... showered, fed the 'lil man, opened presents and got on the road.... first stop..... my parents' house. We arrived around 11 and it was around 11:45 that we all decided it was okay to have a beer..... Dubya's rationale: "They're drinking in Vegas"

I should have known I was in trouble as soon as that first beer was cracked.... they were going down like they knew the way.... and the supply was bountiful! Dinner was to be served at 3:00ish, I figured that would be a great way to slow down the buzz...... a big prime rib dinner. Just as we sat down to eat, the 'lil man spit up all over me.... so, I excused myself and went to change (him and myself) by the time I got back to the table.... my dinner was cold and my wine glass was full -- it only made sense to abandon the dinner and enjoy the wine. Yes my friends, this is when I switched over to Merlot.

Wrapped up dinner and were at the Big Dubya's parents' house by 4:00...... Dubya's sister-in-law and I launched into a bottle of Merlot...... and promptly polished it off. Sadly, there was no more Merlot..... and I'm not sure why we thought this would be a good time to hit the mother-in-law's Pinot Grigio, but..... we did..... and I'll be damned..... it started to hit back!

The Big Dubya poured me into our car.... and brought me back to my parents' house where we were staying. It's only about a 5-mile ride.... just long enough for me to call my friend in Colorado and an old college roommate for the obligatory "I LOVE YOU, MAN.... MERRY CHRISTMAS" calls.... Drunk girls cannot be trusted with cell phones!!!!


Once in the house, my mother's disappointment was palpable.... she was not only unimpressed with my inebriated condition.... she was very upset to be putting a second plastered child to bed..... apparently Aunt P had made her own phone calls (to friends, parents of friends....) and then "passed out from the drink" a couple of hours before.

Dubya's friend 40 was playing cards with Uncle Ro-ro when we arrived...... they were in better condition than me, but I'm not sure they stayed that way..... we were all looking kind of rough this morning when we got up.... and there was quite a bit of debris (remnants of Chinese food.... empty beer bottles/cans..... shot glasses)

Overall it was a great Christmas.... despite all the people I now have to call with apologies... my in-laws, friend in Colorado, college roommate, my parents, 40 (who I kinda teased about a girl he pretends he's not interested in)......

I really thought that I'd seen the last of making morning-after apologies....... on the bright side.... I was making all I love you/I miss you calls..... better than the other kind, right?

Well, Here we are..... Christmas Eve

First and foremost.... From the Dubyas to all of our friends -- Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and may everyone have a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous 2006!

The 'lil man & I got the morning off to an early start.... we figured we'd run to WalMart quick this morning -- be there when it opened, get in and out. Normally, I wouldn't bother, but the 'lil man has outgrown his size-one diapers and I had two choices.... head to the store and get some size twos, or just change his clothes everytime he peed through his size ones.... we opted for packing away the size ones for a 'liller Dubya to be named later (no, there isn't one in the works yet, but.... we can hope) and heading to the store for some size twos.

I should have known we were in for trouble when the WalMart parking lot was full..... at 7:00am? Well, silly Mrs Big Dubya soon learned that WalMart has been open 24-hours a day since 12/16.... Hmmmmm, who knew? Well, apparently all the nutjobs who were already there!
We were lucky, we grabbed our Pampers and headed to check-out.... there was no line and we were on our way! We got home, fed the 'lil man and started the first of several batches of holiday eggnogg (see yesterday's post for recipe). It really is just a heartattack in a fancy glass, but.... the Big Dubya likes it and his Dad said that it reminded him of the nogg Dubya's grandma used to make when he was a 'lil guy.... ahhhhh, how could I refuse??? -- besides, it's not a lot of effort for me, it makes the house smell great (fresh grated nutmeg) and it seems to be the only thing that I can do that the other daughters-in-law (who are Martha Stewarts in training) can't (or don't) do.

A friend from work stopped by with the cutest outfit for the 'lil guy.... people are so kind... and now the 'lil guy, after performing cute baby duty for the friend, is snoozin' in his swing (thank God for the swing!)

Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family
12:00 Jingle All the Way
2:00 A Very Brady Christmas
4:00 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
6:00 Jack Frost (Animated)
7:00 Frosty's Winter Wonderland
8:00 Santa Claus is Comin' to Town
9:00 The Year Without a Santa Claus
10:00 Rudolph's Shiny New Year
PBS
8:00 Happy Holidays: The Best of Andy Williams' Christmas Shows
NBC
8:00 It's a Wonderful Life (Still haven't seen it....)
Lifetime
7:00 Noel
9:00 Recipe for a Perfect Christmas
Foodnetwork
9:00 AllStar Holiday Party
HGTV
8:00 The White House Christmas 2005
9:00 All Out Christmas
History
8:00 Christmas Unwrapped
9:00 In the footsteps of Jesus
BET
7:30 Ashanti's Christmas (I don't ask why, I just report the news people)
8:00 Christmas Memories
TBS
8:00 A Christmas Story
Disney
8:00 Twas the Night
Discovery
Jesus the Complete Story (7:00, 8:00, 9:00....)

Mrs Big Dubya's Homemade Eggnogg Recipe

Over at Dadcentric, the fellas have been sharing their recipes for holiday cheer -- so here's a favorite from the Dubya house:

EggNogg:

Combine 1 cup of whole milk with 1 cup of heavy cream and set it aside

In a large bowl, whisk together one dozen egg yolks with 1 1/3 cups of sugar and 1 teaspoon of freshly ground nutmeg -- just until they are well-combined.... don't over-whisk. Notes: Room temperature eggs make separating out the yolks a bit easier on the hands and.... don't waste your time with pre-ground nutmeg.... invest in a microplane and grate it yourself -- once you've had it fresh ground, you'll never use the pre-ground stuff again.

Next, whisk in 2 cups of whole milk, followed by 2 cups of heavy cream -- make sure you get all the stuff up off the bottom of the bowl with the whisk..... that egg/sugar mixture is sticky and tends to get caked on the bottom of the bowl.

Pour contents into large pot/saucepan and place over low/med heat. You'll need to stir it continuously until it thickens. I use a candy thermometer and get the mixture to about 175 degrees.... that gets you the right consistency and ensures the eggs are cooked through. Note: a wooden spoon works well here..... if you choose to use a whisk, you'll end up whipping quite a bit of air into the mixture -- the eggnog will have a frothy almost coolwhip like consistency. Again, make sure you stir up all the "stuff" that cakes on the bottom of the pot -- the egg/sugar mixture tends to settle and stick if you don't stir enough.

Once you get to 175 degrees (or the consistnecy of heavy cream) take off the heat -- don't overheat the mixture.... it will curdle on you. Stir in the reserved whole milk/heavy cream mixture and then pour entire mixture through a strainer and into a pitcher. Put the pitcher in the fridge for a minimum of 3 hours.... cover and then chill for a bit longer.

Serve with your favorite booze -- we use Jameson in the Dubya household, but.... Cognac, dark rum or bourbon are favorites -- top with whipped cream and a dusting of fresh ground nutmeg.


Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family
7:00 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and the Island of Misfit Toys
8:30 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
10:30 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (an encore presentation)
Disney
8:00 Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas

Woman delivers 14lb baby!

Nope, this headline wasn't on the cover of the National Enquirer.... it was on CBS News.

I can only say one word.... OUCH!

Luckily (or mercifully) this bundle of joy was delivered via c-section, but.... man that's one big baby! I guess I can't help but find the mother's claim of "We had no clue" as to the impending size, a bit hard to believe..... I mean maybe she didn't know the baby would be 14lbs, but I'm guessing she wasn't expecting her to be a feather-like 6-pounder.

Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family
7:00 Rudolph's Shiny New Year
8:00 Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the Jim Carey version)
10:30 Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (an encore presentation of the Jim Carey version)
Lifetime
7:00 His and Hers Christmas
9:00 Christmas in my Hometown
Foodnetwork
9:00 Gingerbread challenge
TCM
8:00 A Christmas Story
Toon
7:30 The Legend of Frosty the Snowman

Holiday Mail

There's something so nice about holiday mail.... but, I think a few themes emerge --

The long lost friend card-- Everyone has those people that they just can't manage to keep in touch with during the year, and they use the holidays as an opportunity (excuse) to reach out to them -- find out what they've been doing since last year, even though there is a certain level of certainty that you won't be speaking to them again 'til next year at this time, you still look forward to the correspondence and the insincere promises to do better at keeping in touch

The mended fence card -- You had a bit of a falling out with a good friend/relative/neighbor.... the holidays are a perfect time to get in touch and act like nothing ever happened -- this is probably the only time of year where such a tactic would work.

The Oh shit, THEY sent me a card?!?!?! card -- You know, the people you completely forgot to send a card to (or you didn't think you had to send a card to)....

There are a few courses of corrective action that can be employed here (you see this phenomenon in gift-giving as well). If the card comes early in the season.... (first or second week of December) you can easily pop a card in the mail to them.... they'll just think you are a later-card-sender than they are or that the cards simply passed each other in the mail.

If the card comes Christmas week.... you need to make a choice -- either you send them a card, or you don't.

If you opt to send them a card, it almost looks like you are trying to cover up the fact that you forgot/didn't care enough to send them one to begin with.

If you don't send them a card.... you are just kind of telling them flat out -- "I don't like you enough to send you a card, and you should feel pretty stupid for sending me one". Or maybe you are saying "I messed up and I respect you too much to send you a card this late, but you bet your ass that I'll be sending you one before you get the chance to send me one next year."

Now, don't think you are in this alone - as the unrequited card sender needs to make a choice too.... do they send you a card next year even though you didn't send one to them this year?

If they do, it's kind of pathetic.... nobody likes a one-way card. BUT if they don't send one, it's equally pathetic as.... what kind of big baby stops sending cards just because they didn't get one back? And what if they didn't send one last year, but because you sent one to them last year, they send one to you this year and you didn't send one to them...... hmmmmm, something to ponder.

One year I was just obscenely unorganized.... so I skipped Christmas cards all together -- instead, I opted to send everyone I have ever met a St. Patrick's Day card -- it made sense at the time -- there are some striking parallels between the holidays.... the prominence of the color green, there is the fantastic focus on alcohol and how different are the Christmas Tree and the Four Leaf Clover anyway, huh?

Holiday Viewing Guide:
PBS
9:00 Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir
10:00 A St. Olaf Christmas in Norway
Lifetime
7:00 Deck the Halls
9:00 Holiday Affair
FoodNetwork
8:00 AllStar Holiday Party
ABC Family
7:00 Jack Frost
8:00 A Very Brady Christmas
10:00 A Very Brady Christmas

Gotta love the guidos

Other bloggers have been posting on their favorite holiday songs..... I thought I'd share the lyrics to one of the more amusing ones that I've heard -- it's been around for a few years, but I've only heard it once this year -- it was the other day while I was battling the unwashed at the Dollar Store (hey, it's a good place to get cheap giftbags). If you haven't heard it, it's worth tracking down... although the lyrics are funny.... the song itself is funnier.

Twelve Days of a Guido Christmas
On the first day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
A ride in his IROC-Z.
On the second day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the third day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the fourth day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the fifth day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the sixth day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Six Sergio Tacchinis,Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the seventh day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Seven Piazza jerseys,Six Sergio Tacchinis,Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the eighth day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Eight fuggetaboutits,Seven Piazza jerseys,Six Sergio Tacchinis,Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the ninth day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Nine balls-a-grabbing,Eight fuggetaboutits,Seven Piazza jerseys,Six Sergio Tacchinis,Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the tenth day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Ten hand gestures,Nine balls-a-grabbing,Eight fuggetaboutits,Seven Piazza jerseys,Six Sergio Tacchinis,Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Eleven Sinatra CDs,Ten hand gestures,Nine balls-a-grabbing,Eight fuggetaboutits,Seven Piazza jerseys,Six Sergio Tacchinis,Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my paesan gave to me,
Twelve globs of hair gel,Eleven Sinatra CDs,Ten hand gestures,Nine balls-a-grabbing,Eight fuggetaboutits,Seven Piazza jerseys,Six Sergio Tacchinis,Five pinky rings!Four fresh cannolis,All tree Godfadda's,Two guinea tees,And a ride in his IROC-Z.

Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family
7:00 A Very Barry Christmas
8:00 Eloise at Christmastime
Toon
7:30 Bill and Mandy Save Christmas
Disney
8:00 The Ultimate Christmas Present

Ah-hem, Ah-hem

We've all done it.... thrown out a little cough in order to get someone's attention. Well, my 'lil man has learned the finer art of coughing. Yes, at 6 months old, he coughs (rather snottily, I might add) to get our attention.

A few weeks ago, he had a small headcold... and when he coughed -- the Big Dubya and I would look over.... smile at him, assure him that he was okay and then he'd smile back. Well, now he "coughs" anytime he wants our attention. If his swing music stops "ah-hem, ah-hem" -- if his vibrating chair stops vibrating "ah-hem, ah-hem" -- if we are having a conversation that doesn't include him -- "ah-hem, ah-hem". Our beautiful baby boy has turned into a rude house guest -- and we fall for it every single time.

Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family
7:00 Santa Claus is Comin' to Town (once again... a classic, one of my favorites)
8:00 Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
BET
8:00 A Diva's Christmas Carol (I saw this on E a few years ago, it's not really that bad.... stars Vanessa William.... a Diva who won't give her back-up singers & roadies Christmas off)
Disney
8:00 Mickey's Once Upon A Christmas
Toon
8:00 Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
9:00 Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the animated one.... a can't miss)