I have come to hate the internet.... I guess it's really a love/hate thing.
The Big Dubya started a blog when we were expecting our first baby.... I thought it was kind of silly, but then I saw the community he was becoming part of and I wanted to write too -- so this site was born. It's been a place to vent, to celebrate, to seek advice...... it gave birth to TheWhinery, which I want to be so much more than it is -- but, life gets in the way and it's just a hobby still trying to get off the ground.
Then came Facebook and Twitter and it all became a blur. I loved the ability to reconnect with old friends on Facebook -- to keep track of the busy lives that I am a part of -- and then I made new "friends" on Twitter.
I learned of the death of a dear friend on Facebook -- nobody should ever learn of their friend's death by reading eulogies left on his Facebook page -- but I did.
I scrambled for confirmation -- for someone to tell me what happened.
The unthinkable was confirmed and I realized that we hadn't seen each other in way too long.... I hadn't met his beautiful little girl.... I had only met his wife once or twice and had yet to make her my friend.... he always said we'd be friends if we had chance to spend some time together.
We had made plans several times to get together -- only to have something come up and plans were postponed, rescheduled, broken...
I suppose these are the regrets everyone has when they lose a dear friend --
I began to forgive the internet a little bit -- and then I got sucked into a story that actually made news. I believed a story one of my Twitter "friends" told about a harrowing incident in an airport with her small child. I was so offended and angry -- I too, had bad experiences with airport personnel and children, but nothing like this.
I was then mortified to learn that I'd been had -- the whole story was made up. I'm not sure why I was so upset -- yes, I blindly trusted this woman..... kind of serves me right for putting my faith in someone I don't know at all. But, I believed her and asked my "friends" to believe her too.
I quit Twitter immediately and I've all but stopped blogging.
I'd like to get back to blogging -- I'm just kind of worn down.....
March 12, 2010
I hate you internet
July 17, 2009
Conversation at Work
July 3, 2009
Gym? Gym Who? I don't know anybody named Gym
I still stumble over it a little -- it's a little hard even now, but it's a good decision -- it's the right decision -- it's not that I wouldn't love to have another baby -- I would. But I know that I'm beyond blessed with the three that I have and that we are done. The Big Dubya is ready to move on to the next chapter of our lives.... the chapter without bottles, without diapers..... maybe a chapter where we sleep a little.
And well, the 'lillest man is done nursing -- has been done for a couple of months now. This is the longest I've gone without being pregnant in 5 years...... 5 years!
So, my body..... man, my body has taken a beating.
I'm not that big -- yes, I've got some pounds to lose, but I'm still a relatively small person. I'm just lumpy.... really, really lumpy.
So, I did it -- I joined a gym.
More surprising..... I actually go. I go a lot. I'm actually starting to see results. I'm still lumpy, but it's working.
It's only been a few weeks, so I'm not going to declare myself a gym-junky or anything -- I still don't love it -- I watch the clock while I'm there to see when I'm done -- but I go.... and this is a big step forward for me.
PS I was a guest-contributor at DadCentric for Father's Day -- check it out!
June 15, 2009
I was 17 years old.
He was 19, young -- handsome -- funny -- he had a fake ID, and he was paying attention to me.
Nobody ever paid attention to me -- this was a first. I liked the attention, but didn't really appreciate it -- I was getting ready to go off to college -- he didn't want to hold me back -- we became great friends.
He visited me in college -- everyone predicted we'd end up together -- we were Harry & Sally, but no, we weren't meant to be together that way -- it was almost like we loved each other too much to settle for each other.... if that makes any sense.
We helped each other celebrate new loves, and then get over broken hearts..... we went to our friends' weddings together -- we kept each other company while we waited for "the one"
We talked all night after his girlfriend broke his heart
He took me out drinking when some guy blew me off
I held his hand the day his mother passed away
I was nervous the day I had to tell him I was getting married -- there was no need to be, he was so happy for me.... he had faith that his "one" was out there.... and she was.
I was thrilled the day he told me he'd met "her", the day he called to tell me he'd bought a ring.... the day he called to tell me that they were expecting a baby..... and the day he called to tell me that they'd named his beautiful baby daughter after his mom.
I cried like a baby when I read that he'd died
I sobbed uncontrollably when I knelt before his casket to say goodbye, when I embraced his wife and thanked her for taking care of my guy, for making him so happy, for giving him his daughter, for showing him the gift of true love and profound joy.
He was 39, older but still handsome -- and gone way too soon
Rest in Peace my dear friend
May 20, 2009
Do you ever feel like we are all just too plugged in?
Let me be clear -- I have a cell phone, I have a blackberry and yes, I have a laptop... two of them actually. And yes, I bring some subset of the group with me just about everywhere I go.
But, can't we just unplug sometimes? Just for a few hours?
Case in point, a few weeks ago we were at a First Communion party for our nephews -- and while outside watching the kids play -- husband is on the blackberry. After seeing him whip it out a half a dozen times, I finally asked "What is so important?"..... he got annoyed and it was put away.
Over this past weekend we went to a concert.... our first "date night" in months and everybody in the place, including my date, was recording the concert with their blackberry/cellphone.
Seriously?
Why are you there if you are so busy working your phone that you aren't even watching the show? Do you really need to take a fuzzy picture of the act on stage? Okay fine, maybe you need one -- but do you need dozens of them? Do you absolutely need to post a photo of the beer you are drinking on Twitter? It looks remarkably like the last one you had -- and I suspect it will be indistinguishable from the next one too, no?
Can't we please just unplug once in a while?
May 10, 2009
The difference between one kid and three kids?
I might make this a regular series....
One kid -- you hope you can finish your lunch before the kid wakes up from his/her nap....
Three kids -- you just accept the fact that your lunch is the crust you cut off the grilled cheese and/or peanut butter & jelly sandwich and there's no chance of you actually being able to sit down and eat it -- just jam it into your mouth and be grateful you can chew.
May 6, 2009
The difference between one kid and three kids?
When you have one kid and he/she pees and/or pukes in your bed, you get up immediately and change the sheets -- anything else would be disgusting.
When you have three kids and one of them pees and/or pukes in your bed..... again. You wipe it up the best you can and throw a towel over it. You can change the sheets in the morning.... you need sleep so badly, you don't care how disgusting it is.
