March 25, 2009


Haven't been posting much -- too busy..... too much to get into..... but I'm trying to come back, if any of you are still reading.

Lately, I've been focusing a lot on my 'lillest man..... he's gonna be 10 months in a few days and I'm so not sure where it went. I've been trying to savor all the "little" moments that I let zoom by with the other two -- but, they all just go by too fast. I'm trying to burn the site of that toothless grin on my brain -- pictures just aren't enough -- a picture just doesn't melt my heart the way the site of that smile.... that smile with one tiny little tooth popping out.

I've had to accept that this is my last one. I know, I'm so insanely blessed to have the three healthy, gorgeous children that I have -- to want more would absolutely be greedy -- that doesn't stop me from wondering ..... hmmmm, what if we won the Powerball?

But this is it -- I'm done. So, as I pack up all the little clothes..... I say a little good bye.

But there are some things that are harder to say good bye to than others -- for the Big Dubya, in a moment of weakness, he admitted that the baby papasan was going to be a tough one to see go. When we brought our first 'lil guy home from the hospital -- he was so tiny -- he weighed only 4lbs (just barely 4lbs) and we had to use receiving blankets to prop him up in it.

For me, there are little articles of clothing -- I'm going to give them a worthy set of parents-to-be so that I'll get to see them on a little one again..... but I'm sad to see them go.

I think the toughest is the basinette. I don't know why I'm so attached to that damn thing -- maybe it's because of the anticipation I felt when we first assembled it.... waiting for it's first little occupant. Maybe it was the excitement the second time we set it up, thinking it would be the last -- or maybe it's because I got to use it one more time..... I don't know.

It's odd to be so attached to a "thing" -- and I'm going to lend it out to another family -- but, this is the one thing..... I think I'd like to get back when they are done. I don't know why -- it's not fancy, or expensive and I will never get to use it again -- but I can't bear to let it go.


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