I was emailing back and forth yesterday -- with a friend I don't see or speak to nearly enough. Since we had kids and I moved out of state -- I find we just don't seem to get together like we did, like we should. Email's so impersonal..... yet, if we didn't email.... we probably wouldn't talk at all -- so impersonal as it may be, I'm very grateful for it.
Anyway, we were chatting away about this and that..... what our kids are doing, what our weekend plans are (oh, us?? yeah, we don't have any plans yet because the Big Dubya's been a big lazy ass and hasn't told me what he wants to do... so we'll probably end up at home, which is fine, but.....) and our shared desire to have a baby #3. We've had nearly identical discussions with our husbands about the topic.... we get similar arguments from them -- we don't have the money, the space, the time..... it would be chaos, we are getting older, how'd we pay for college and where on earth would we put a third car seat?
All reasonable arguments....
And, then I thought about it.... I'm one of three...... my mother didn't have a car until I was in high school and Aunt P and I shared a room 'til then too -- I think we've turned out okay.
Isn't it funny how spoiled we've all become? I mean, my mother came from a family of 7 children -- they lived in a tiny house with 3 small bedrooms and it didn't even have a bathroom until the 1950's. My dad's family was considered "small" with a mere 6 children..... his cousins were all one of 10, 11 or 12. He remembers the day their house got electricity -- and neither of my parents had a phone in the house where the grew up -- my dad's parents got theirs when he was in college -- and I remember when my mother's mother finally got hers (no, I'm not that old).
We've got ourselves programmed to think that our kids have to wear clothes from Hanna, Lilly or Ralph (my personal obsession is with Baby Gap, but.....) and that their days just have to be filled with lessons, play dates, trips and activities -- why can't they just go play in the dirt? we did. They have to have a DVD player in the car for long rides -- whereas we did just fine making up games..... we used mile markers, license plates and of course, we played countless games of Uno.
It will boggle your mind if you stop to think about how our kids are being raised compared to how our parents were raised and how they raised us... without disposable diapers, without wipes (how can you live in a world without baby wipes???) -- there were no Boppys, no Exersaucers, no battery operated swings.... all things that we think we absolutely "NEED" our parents and grandparents did just fine without.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not casting stones at any of you..... my kids have more "stuff" than they will ever need or want -- and I think for the most part that's okay -- as long as we raise them to be grateful and to know how fortunate they are.
August 30, 2007
We are so spoiled
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5 comments:
Dude--- as much as we love Kiddo's expensive private school, I regularly think of pulling her out so she can rub elbows with kids of more diverse financial means. In public school, she'd be in the middle of the socioeconomic pack, at her school now, we're at the bottom of the net worth pile.
Also? I didn't live in a house with cable televison until I was almost 30. Not because I/we couldn't pay for it, but because my parents (and then I) thought too much TV was just too much.
And I was the only kid in my town without a phone in my room or call waiting.
Good points. In thinking about my childhood, I could probably have been considered "spoiled" as well -Clare doesn't have any of those same things I had while growing up, but she's "spoiled" in a different way.
We try to make sure she understands a lot of kids don't get the same opportunities/things she does, and work on sharing and things like that.
Great post.
From someone who just "bite the bullet" and had the 3rd... I must say, I think it was the "will I regret this someday if I don't?" And now... amazingly enough, I am ready for a 4th.
When we lived and worked in NYC, we thought we would only have 2 children... we moved to RI so I could grow my company and I decided with the lifestyle change, I would love to have more children. Which we did.
And I do think about college and school tuitions and everything... but when I look at Benjamin, I think to myself - what would I have done without him in my life?
I have to say... I love your blog!! Love it!! I found you through NE Mamas!!
Where in CT are you? We are in Warwick, RI.
It's true. We didn't have as much growing up. My favorite toy was a set of wardrobe boxes.
We're trying hard not to be the type of parents that give too many things. I'm a firm believer that kids are probably more happy pretending that to have all the bells and whistles that pretend for them...
Ok, so I love my kids having stuff (not that there's tons). I get to play with it too. But I do agree, we grew up with a lot less, and we turned out alright, at least I think so. There's something to be said for creativity.
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