I finally pulled the trigger

Yep, I finally called a cleaning lady -- she'll be here at noon to "assess" us........ it's 11:31 and the Big Dubya and I have been taking turns cleaning/managing the tots since 7. This is probably the cleanest our house has been since pre-baby days.... not even sure we need her now.

I had my performance appraisal last week and although I won't know my raise/bonus numbers 'til Tuesday, I was told by my boss that I'll be "happy" with what I get -- so, I called a raspy voiced woman and she agreed to come over today. She said that her fee is based on a few factors..... house size and occupants among them. In our favor.... we have no pets.... working "against" us is that we have "two under two"

Aunt P teased me for being a bit nervous

Aunt P: You are interviewing her
Me: I know, but what if we are too far gone? What if we are too serious a case for her to take on? What if she tells her cleaning lady friends about us?
Aunt P: Wouldn't that be funny? At least you'd have something to blog about.
Me: Shut up!

It's 11:44 -- she'll be here in 16 minutes.... UGH

Babysitting

Last Friday, the Big Dubya and I celebrated 5 years of wedded bliss. We thought a quiet dinner out would be a nice way to mark the occasion -- but, we don't have a babysitter. We aren't from the area and our families are just shy of 3 hours away. I joked that we could celebrate by getting two toppings on the pizza instead of just one -- Dubya wasn't amused.

In fairness, Aunt P volunteered to come out and stay with the kids so we could go out for dinner or even away overnight (I'm just not ready for that yet). The problem with that very generous offer is..... if my sister drives the 3 hours to visit, I want to hang out with her -- not leave her at my house caring for my children.

Most of the time this is not an issue -- we take our kids almost everywhere and in general we enjoy spending time at home with them. However, once in a while even Moms and Dads need to go out on a date. I've considered asking one of the daycare teachers if they'd be interested in doing some babysitting for us from time-to-time, but I recently discovered that it's against the rules!!!

Our solution this time was to drive back to Boston and have my parents babysit while we went out for dinner and a show. Sadly, the Big Dubya got stuck in so much after-work traffic that we missed the show, but we did manage to go for a lovely dinner.

This is not the first time this issue has come up -- when we went to AZ with another family for Thanksgiving last year, they suggested we use the hotel babysitter so that we could do one adult-only dinner out. The 'lil man was only 5 months old and I just didn't like the idea of leaving him with strangers -- so, the Big Dubya and I stayed home with all the kids and let the other couple go take in a movie. Another time, we went to Disney... friends of ours wanted to call a highly recommended babysitting service (Fairy Godmothers or All About Kids) so that we could have one evening out -- again, I just wasn't sure I could leave him with strangers and we opted to stay home instead.

Am I alone?

Baby's Got a Mullet

The 'lil Dubyas got himself a mullet.

He's 20 mos and has not has his first haircut yet -- primarily because he's still pretty thin in the front and on top -- but the back.......man, he's got some length back there.

Up until now, it hasn't been all that noticeable because it curled up into these cute little blond curls..... it was only in the bath when it was wet that he resembled a miniature version of Hulk Hogan.


Aunt P suggested we let him get his first haircut in May when we go to Disney -- the Harmony Barber Shop in the Magic Kingdom specializes in "first haircuts" and makes a big fuss -- complete with Mickey Ears and a fancy Certificate. This seemed like a great idea -- except May is still 3 months away and the kid's getting a little rough looking.

My baby's growing up

Just wondering...

How long before this dumb-ass is in rehab?

Happy Birthday Kara!

Go on over there and give her some birthday love!

Shhhhh, did you hear that?

That was the sound of pounds and inches falling off me...... NOT!

So, I posted a while back that I wanted to get down to my pre-baby #1 weight. Before anybody gets pissed off at me – I’m not a big person. I’m one of those people that other people assume doesn’t have a weight problem. But, because I’m a fairly small person – I really don’t have anywhere to carry extra weight. I may still fit into a single-digit-size, but, clothes don’t hang right and I feel lumpy and lethargic. So, I needed to lose 12lbs in order to feel healthy and better about myself. I managed to shed the first 6½ fairly easily…. I wasn’t starving myself, but I was watching what I was eating. But then I hit a plateau that I just couldn’t seem to get past.

Diet wasn’t enough, I needed to kick it up a notch -- so I decided to embark upon a “couch-to-5K” program – which basically takes a non-runner (like myself) and helps them gradually get up to running 5K.

I began week #2 yesterday and nobody is more shocked than me …… I like it!

I’m in absolute shock because I’ve always HATED running…… absent someone chasing me with a weapon, I wouldn’t even consider running….. but WOW – I like it.

Here are a few reasons why I like it so much –

1. Although I’ve only lost another ½ pound, my pants are starting to fit me better.
2. Following this program only requires 30 minutes 3 times a week….. I can do that!
3. Aunt P bought me an iPod and when I have it on, listening to this guy tell me what to do….. I can’t hear anything. I can’t hear the kids, I can’t hear the phone, for 30 minutes it’s just ME. I’m nobody’s wife, I’m nobody’s mother – I’m just ME doing something that benefits nobody but ME.

I also have a new snack...... Chex makes 100 Calorie packs now -- the Chocolate Caramel is delicious, there's a decent portion and only 2 Weight Watchers Points.

Chatting up a storm

The 'lil man's been speaking for a while -- mostly one word here or there. Mahmeeeyyy, Daahheeee, UUUccce (juice). But over the weekend he went from one word here and there to full phrases.

He dropped one of his Duplos and then out of nowhere, he said "Where'd it go?" and then when he found it under the table he yelled out "I got it!"

Huh?

He went from shouting out one word describing what he wanted to being almost conversational.
He picked up his toy cell phone and said "Lelllloh, Oh Hi Ninny" (we think this translates to "Hello, Oh Hi Granny")

Upon hearing her wake up, he ran to his sister and said "Baayybeee's cryin"

And from his crib last night he yelled "Mahmeeyyy Melllkkkk Tlease" (Mammy, Milk Please)

It's so exciting to see him learn to speak and use language to convey his thoughts -- but it's a little bitter-sweet -- he's my baby.... and he's growing up.

Dear Anonymous

When I started this blog 18ish months ago, it was really just a creative outlet for me while I was on maternity leave. Hubby? Well, he's a serious blogger -- both on his own site and as a contributor to Dadcentric. Me? Well, I'm really just tinkering -- and with the exception of my sister (Aunt P) and a couple of close friends (the Cape Buffalos, Miss America) -- my friends and family don't even know it exists.

As time has gone on, I've picked up a handful of readers (Insurance Mom, Mamacita Tina).... probably through Hubby or Kara... and I stop by and read their sites too -- they seem like good people -- moms figuring it out as they go -- just like me. I don't have a lot of readers, but they seem to be a nice group of people -- and since I joined the Supercoolest Book Club Eva, I've picked up several more.

In the past week I've gotten a few anonymous comments that I'd like to respond to

First, in response to the "Cocktail Playdate" post, I received the following comment

"I may have missed it, but I don’t recall hearing anyone address the idea that these mothers are demonstrating to their children that alcohol has a place in everything.
Child safety and mother’s dependence aside, these mothers are promoting alcohol use by example. Can’t they wait until the kids are in bed to “unwind?”

Thanks for the comment -- you make a couple of good points. First, let me say that I don't believe the segment or I meant to imply that alcohol has a place in everything. I certainly don't believe that -- I think these women were just taking advantage of an opportunity to socialize with other adults while their children played (they were at somebody's home, not a public place). Since having my children, my priorities have changed -- and sadly, my friendships have suffered -- I miss "the girls". Perhaps these moms were trying to remedy this loneliness with some multi-tasking.

As for waiting for children to go to bed to "unwind" with a cocktail -- I'm sure many people do. I know that we often wait 'til our kids are in bed before my husband and I enjoy an after-dinner coffee. It's not because we don't want our kids to know we indulge in caffeine -- it's because we'd like to enjoy a cup beginning to end without having to microwave it three times. I don't think it's as much about NEEDing a drink, as it is about wanting to enjoy a beverage and adult conversation with friends -- something that could not be accomplished at home alone after the kids are in bed (drinking alone? this could be the start of an issue).

Every family does things differently -- in our house, we want our kids to know that some things are just for adults -- this ranges from make-up and high heels to using the stove. I feel that the occasional glass of wine falls into this category.

The next anonymous comment was in response to "I Can't Drive 55"

"For speeding pregnant with a baby in the car you deserve to cop a fine. How dumb can you be? If you crashed that would be three lives lost... selfish."

I appreciate the comment -- the delivery is a bit rude but the sentiment is more than fair.

This incident happened back in October -- I didn't blog about it then because I was so terribly embarrassed for being reckless.

I'll tell you what I told the judge -- the truth (probably because I'm such a lousy liar) -- I was 8 months pregnant, driving from our home in CT to my parents house in MA with my 16 month old son in the backseat.

The 'lil man was screaming and had a foul diaper -- I needed to use the rest room myself. I knew there was a rest stop coming up and my desire to comfort and care for my child took over -- I made the crappy decision to speed up. I was wrong, I made a bad decision and I couldn't feel worse than I already do -- a dirty diaper was certainly the lesser of two evils when I consider what could have happened.

Fortunately for me, the judge was willing to give me a second chance -- he believed me when I told him that I had learned my lesson.


Thanks again for reading and for the comments -- maybe you'll start identifying yourself so I can return the favor.

Best Regards,

Mrs Big Dubya

Playdates & Cocktails

I do not watch the Today Show.... generally when it's on I'm already at work -- but even when I'm home I don't watch..... probably because I think that for the most part they are biased left-wing nut jobs... but, when I was out having my car repaired this morning, it was on in the waiting room and I caught this segment.

First of all.... I've never seen women dressed this well at any play date I've been to (for that matter, I've never seen kids playing outdoors manage to stay that clean) and while I'm at it, I've never seen a mother serve drink boxes to all the kids on a tray.... but I digress

The segment was a follow up to one that aired a few weeks ago. These mothers have weekly play dates and while the kids are playing, they chat and enjoy a glass of wine or a cocktail nearby. Apparently, the Today Show was inundated with emails, letters, etc. outraged at the prospect of these Mom's enjoying alcohol in the presence of their children.

Both sides of the "issue" (is this really an "issue"?) were represented -- and of course the standard points were made "you wouldn't have a problem with a child seeing his dad have a beer while watching football" -- "shouldn't we be modeling responsible moderation for our children"

Okay -- not that anybody asked for it.... but here's my 2 cents. There is no need to get plastered in front of your children -- you are responsible for their safety and well-being so you need to be on your toes and god-forbid they need some sort of transportation or medical attention. However, you did not totally surrender you life when you became a mother.... if you enjoy the occasional glass of wine -- have it. It's good for kids to see mommy take care of herself -- Happy Mommy = Happy Kids

I can't drive 55!

So, back in October......

I was 8 mos pregnant driving from CT back to Boston with the 'lil man (then16 mos) in the backseat. And yes, I got pulled over...... going way too fast.

I thought the officer might show some mercy -- I was visibly (and hugely) pregnant and I had a crying baby in the backseat. In all honesty, I had sped up so that I could get from I-84 to the MassPike and stop at the first rest stop for a snack and a diaper change.

Unfortunately for me, all he felt was the need to write me one big-fat-ticket. When I say big & fat, I mean to the tune of something north of $300. When I got home, I filled out the form to request a hearing in hopes of getting the fine reduced -- I was going too fast -- but this penalty is a bit excessive.

Well, I got my court date -- it was set for January 4th. When the big day arrived, I had come down with that awful virus and could hardly tear myself away from the porcelain pony.... never mind go plead my case, so.... I blew it off. I assumed that they'd simply issue me a bill and I'd get stuck paying the damn ticket.

Instead, I got a letter with a new date and a threat to issue a warrant for my arrest if I didn't show. Well, on the new date..... I was going to be in AC with Dubya and the kids as well as Aunt P, Mr Tall Guy and Granny. What to do, what to do....... there was no phone number, so I sent a letter asking for an alternate date via priority mail to the clerk.... and prayed for the best.

Well, my new date is Thursday..... and I'm suddenly very nervous and unsure as to what to say. I've heard that you can offer to make a donation to a charity in lieu of paying the fee. Although a donation would be stiff, it would be for a good cause and it would avoid any points on my licence.

Anyone want to offer suggestions?

So, I go back to work next week..... I'm so sad about it, I get a bit weepy when I even think about it -- but it's a necessary evil and there will never be a "good" time to go back -- so..... back I'm going.

Granny's gonna come and stay with the 'lil lady for a few weeks -- just to ease me back into things before I have to hand her over to daycare. Don't get me wrong, I've been very pleased with the care the 'lil man's received at daycare -- but..... even after a year -- I still get sad leaving him there in the morning and I'll be heartbroken leaving them both there. If only the Big Dubya would keep his promise to win the powerball -- I could stay home with them and go out of my mind full-time.

My diet..... well, it's kind of at a stand-still. I haven't gained any back.... but I haven't lost any more either. I still need to lose 6lbs -- in the grand scheme of things I recognize that this is not a huge number -- but it's important to me. I had hoped to get rid of the extra weight before I went back to work -- that's not going to happen so it's time to get serious.

Aunt P got married last August and put on a few newlywed pounds -- she and I have been doing Weight Watchers together, but we both acknowledge that we need to kick it up a notch. So, beginning today -- we are starting a program. Participation in this program (for me) was partially inspired by Cape Buffalo and Arwen, the spicy elf -- they trained for and completed a half marathon last month..... honestly, that's a bit too ambitious for me. It's partially a cop-out, but not entirely.... I work full-time, I have a husband, a house and two kids under two. I probably could find the time to make that kind of commitment, but honestly.... at this point -- I don't really want to. I want to spend as much time as I can with my babies -- but I need to carve out a little time to take care of myself --

Anyway, Aunt P found a program -- told me about it and it seems to fit the bill. It's called the couch to 5K program and it's designed for people like me who aren't runners, are out of shape and need to train gradually -- so.... here goes nothin'. I even got Aunt P to treat me to an iPod (yes, she & I were the only two people left on the planet that didn't own an ipod), so that I can use the podcasts -- I have the greatest sister EVER!

I've also joined the super coolest book club evah! -- I used to read all the time. When I took the train to work in the city, I had plenty of time to read and I devoured books. Well, now that I drive to work and have my children -- I haven't been making time to read and it's a crime. So, when this opportunity presented itself, I jumped at the chance.

Now that I'm wrapping up, I realize that this post is about nothing..... oops, sorry -- I'll try harder tomorrow.

For Medicinal Purposes, Of Course

Thanks for the suggestion Arwen..... I tried the teas, the fenugreek capsules and the hot water with the 'lil man...... so, I picked up some of these this morning. I think I'm gonna like this one!

Seperated at birth?

I haven't posted one of these in a while....... and I'm guessing that the picture on the right will give away our 'lil man's first movie-obsession. Yes, morning, noon and night he begs for Buzz...... for those uninitiated -- if it were up to the 'lil Dubya we'd be watching Toy Story and Toy Story 2 twenty-four hours a day.

Anyway, I could help but think that Stinky Pete (the prospector) looked an awful lot like the Dukes of Hazard's Uncle Jesse.

Things I Don't Understand
By Mrs Big Dubya

#1
I don't watch Grey's Anatomy, and am only superficially aware of all the controversy swirling around, but what the hell kinda therapy or rehab is this dude getting? I mean for drugs and/or booze you learn to stop using or drinking...... what's he gonna learn? how to not be hateful? how to not be stupid? how to keep your mouth shut (particularly when there are live cameras EVERYWHERE)?


#2
I'm not a huge fan of horse racing and I like animals as much as the next guy, but there are real news stories to be told -- do we need all this fuss over the passing of Barbaro? People are actually going to Churchill Downs to pay their respects......
"Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby Museum will position large condolence cards at their main customer entrances on Wednesday, Jan. 31, offering customers and race fans the opportunity to send personal messages to the connections of Kentucky Derby 132 winner Barbaro following his death on Jan. 29. "

#3
Sex tapes, nude photos and raunchy diaries...... let me begin by saying I don't have any..... but if I did, I think I'd make an effort to keep track of them.... and I certainly wouldn't keep them in a storage unit and then forget/refuse to pay the bill -- her parents must be so proud. But, while I'm at it.... who'd actually pay $40 to access this scank's stuff?

I really am an insensitive and awful bitch

Okay, so those of you who've been around for a while may recall that breastfeeding the 'lil man was a real struggle for me -- click here for the refresher course.

Thank God the 'lil lady has been far more cooperative -- but, as I approach the inevitable return to work.... I'm beginning to stress out about pumping, maintaining supply all the crap I went through the last time. As is recommended, I've been pumping almost every morning since Christmas in order to build up a back-up supply (our freezer looks like a creepy science lab) -- but, I'm not sure I'm doing all I can, so I've started checking out some of the message boards that exist.... ivillage, kelly mom, even those crazy la leche people in an effort to get some tips from other been-there-done-that mothers who continued nursing after returning to work.

I came across this "tutorial" on how to pump "hands-free" that made me snicker..... yes, after the emotional basket case I became the last time, I really should not laugh...... (I mean, I'm actually taking the product pictured above) but seriously.... check it out.

Random thoughts from the weekend

The Big Dubya and I took the kids and met up with Aunt P, Mr Tall Guy and Granny for a few days of R&R in Atlantic City.

Why AC you ask? Well, it's drivable (4 hours from us here in CT -- a little longer for those in MA) -- the resort is pretty nice (and cheap this time of year) -- and there's lots to do.

What did we do while we were there? Well, the Big Dubya and I took advantage of the rare opportunity to go out..... Granny babysat for us twice!!!

The first time, we went and gambled a little here -- and then had a couple of pints here.

The second time, we went for dinner here and then saw his show. The show? it was really very good -- I wasn't sure what to expect -- but it was very funny without being dirty (a lot of comics are a bit too raunchy for my taste). I kinda wish the woman behind me didn't have to repeat every punchline.....

It was great to get away for a few days -- the kids were fantastic (even in the car) -- oh, and what's more fun than giving your almost 20-month old a bath in a great big hotel jacuzzi tub?

As for the diet..... well, that kind of went on hiatus, but we are back with a vengeance today! I did manage to get into another pair of pre-baby jeans, so..... I'm still doing okay and on track to be in my business clothes by the time I go back to work in mid-February.

No, it's not a marital aid

So, I mentioned to the Big Dubya in passing that I found this intriguing....... it looks like a really fun way to get a core work out.

As usual, he made fun of me and said that it looks more like a marital aid than a peice of excercise equipment..... yeah, the big lug is really very supportive..... thanks hun.

Finding the words

Lately we've been treated to the 'lil man's ever-expanding vocabulary.

While visiting over Christmas my Dad taught him to clutch anything and everything he could find closely to his chest and proclaim "MINE!" with an evil cackle.

If the 'lil princess cries, he yells out "UH-OH Bay-beeeee"

The lovely woman at the deli counter of Stop & Shop greets the 'lil man with delight every week and offers him a slice of cheese.... this week, he looked at her with his big Bambi eyes and asked for a "CACKAH" -- yep, that's my kid.... he wants a cracker with his cheese. Next week he'll be asking her for a glass of wine too.

At dinner last night, he demanded we give him a "FORK" -- to eat his nachos -- apparently he's too refined for finger food.

And of course, my favorite is when he gets thristy and yells out "DAAHHHEEEE, MILLLKCHKKK KLEEEEZZZ" For those of you who don't speak 'lil Dubya, that's "Daddy, Milk Please"

At least he says please

Ethics Question

Dear Internet Friends.....

I have a hypothetical for you..... if you found yourself in the following situation, what would you do?

You purchase a household machine (not that it matters, but it retails for $200ish) -- use it for a little less than a year only to have it fail to re-charge.... rendering it useless.

You contact the manufacturer and after going through all of their troubleshooting you come to the joint conclusion that the machine is defective.

The manufacturer agrees to provide a replacement machine if you simply ship back the defective one -- which you obviously agree to do.

Then, UPS arrives and delivers the replacement..... actually, UPS delivers two replacements.... so now you've got two machines.

What do you do? keep the extra machine? or be honest and return it?

Just wonderin'.........


On the diet front -- yesterday's weigh-in showed a loss of 2 more pounds (for those keeping score, we are down 6 with 6 to go) -- this is a miracle considering the gluttony that was last weekend. I'm thrilled to report that I'm wearing jeans today -- and although they don't look super-fantastic...... I've seen far worse. I am officially the weight I was when I got pregnant with Princess Dubyette -- it took 9 weeks (yes, can you believe it -- 9 weeks yesterday!!), but here I am. I was definitely skinnier at this weight the last time -- gravity is a bitch!

For anybody interested, I'm doing Weight Watchers (on my own on the internet with Aunt P... I don't go to meetings, because as I've noted before.... I hate people) -- and yes, they even have a program for nursing mothers.

Weight Watchers is great for me because you get to eat real food and you can even cheat if you accept the fact that you have to pay for it by sacrificing other stuff. My problem is that I like lots of food -- volume is my problem/weakness. I've learned that you actually can eat a lot of food on WW, it just has to be the "right" kind of food -- typically food that's high in fiber. Which brings me to this week's recommendation. This bread is really pretty good -- a lot of fiber-rich foods taste like wood -- but this is decent and because of all the fiber, it's pretty filling.


Last but not least by any stretch..... GO PATRIOTS!

Potpourri Post

Hello readers --

I apologize, I've fallen a bit behind in my posting -- we took the show on the road this past weekend... back to our old stomping grounds for Princess Dubyette's christening. It went off without a hitch -- sorta.

The service was lovely and the luncheon afterward was very nice.... well, it seemed to be very nice. The food was good, the drinks were plentiful -- all the children were well behaved (props to Baby Buffalo who was the senior stateswoman of the group -- she was very patient with the younger kids who were fighting for her attention -- but really, can you blame them?)

Later in the evening, Granny agreed to babysit so that Mr & Mrs Big Dubya could meet up with some friends for an evening cocktail. I haven't been out in so long, I was almost giddy!

About 40 minutes (and one coffee with Baileys) into the outing, Granny called (damn cellphones), the 'lil man had thrown up all over Granddad and was inconsolable crying for his Maaammmeeeee. Then I heard the words "Mrs Big Dubya, he needs you". I ran back to the table and was there long enough to see the Guinness I had just ordered delivered -- I grabbed my keys, said a quick goodbye and off I went. If my mother called me and admitted she needed help -- it must be dire.

I arrived home to see my diaper-clad and whimpering son being rocked by my Dad. If it wasn't so pathetic it would have been sweet. I helped Granny finish cleaning up and then retired to bed with my two babies. It was only the next day that I learned Granny was up all night sick.... as was Uncle Ro-Ro's girlfriend..... I'm just praying it wasn't something they ate.

In other news.... the Patriots ROCK! Bring on the Colts..... if the Big Dubya wants to get on my good side, he could get me one of these for Valentine's Day -- just a hint :)

I was very good on my diet last week -- and by Friday I'd lost an additional 2lbs -- bringing my total to 4, leaving 8 to go. But, then I was bad.... I mean B-A-D all weekend -- fried food, Italian food, bar food, wine, liquor....... so, although I'm back on the wagon.... I'm not sure this Friday's report will be all that stellar.

I have however, found these little gems -- only 2 Weight Watcher points. Don't get me wrong.... when they say "Little Bites" they do mean "LITTLE" -- however, if you need a little something sweet & chocolate with your tea -- these 'lil guys do the trick nicely. The Brownies are okay too -- not quite as good as the chocolate chip squares, but.... pretty good.

And, the biggest news of all...... today, I was able to zipper AND button my jeans -- WOOOO HOOO, it really is the little things in life!

Overnight Trip???

Fortunately, all the Dubyas are on the mend (thank God!) and we can take a break from posting about vomit.

'Lil Dubya's 19 mos and we've never left him overnight. Sure, I went out of town for a couple of nights once (well, twice if you count my hospital stay after having the little lady) and the Big Dubya's been away a bunch, but one or both of us has always been with him.

There are a bunch of reasons for this -- part of it is that I don't want to be one of those people that dumps my kids on people -- the fact that our parents and families our out of state is another factor. But when it comes down to it, the main reason is me. I miss him too much when he's not with me. I've come close to leaving him a couple of times -- I almost left him with the Buffalos (the most responsible parents we know) the night of Aunt P's wedding -- but I chickened out at the last minute.

Well, our fifth wedding anniversary is next month and we would love to do something..... something more than splurging for extra cheese on the pizza. We've gotten a couple of very generous babysitting offers.... I'm just not sure I can do it... especially with the princess.

Am I crazy? Have you ever left your kids overnight? How old were they?

Word Problems for Parents

Given:
Breastfed newborn needs to be fed
Nineteen month old is having night terrors -- has puked all over himself, his bed, his room
Both children are screaming at a blood-curdling volume and pitch

Solve:
What do you do first?

Yes, this was Saturday night at the Dubyas. In case you are wondering what the Dubyas did.....
Mr Big Dubya took charge of cleaning the room, the crib, the bedding, the carpet, the rug..... and even poor ole Pooh Bear. Mrs Big Dubya took puking child stripped him down and tossed him in the tub -- she then sat on the bathroom floor nursing the infant.

We live wild times here at chez Dubya!

Friday Randomness

Yes, I realize I'm posting this on Sunday morning, but..... the post was born on Friday and has been simmering since, so.... here it is.

After caring for two sick babies for many, many days.... Mrs Big Dubya's iron-willed immune system finally succumbed. After discovering Thursday night that her throat was landscaped with pockets of puss and fiery red blisters, Mrs Big Dubya paid a visit to the doctor on Friday morning and was prescribed some horse pills to treat her sinusitis, nasty "strep-like" throat infection and a rapidly deteriorating ear situation. Feeling a bit better now... thank God!

Despite not eating very much, due to an inability to swallow without crying (oh, the traffic Google searches will bring on that one), I've only lost two pounds, kind of a bummer -- but two is better than nothing. 10 pounds to go!

Speaking of setting goals..... I got a text message from Kara on Saturday, and the ladies of Team Mimi successfully finished their road-race in Orlando -- I'm so proud of and inspired by them -- WAY TO GO!

Last week was a great one for women -- yes, I'm a republican and no fan of San-Fran-Nan (Nancy Pelosi), but 1st woman speaker..... that is very cool. I was however, HORRIFIED when she invited all the children to the podium. Her six-week old grandson was there being cradled by what appeared to be a six-year old! I was like a wild woman... shouting at the TV "....is anybody else seeing this? Is there no adult, or even older child, who could hold this newborn? Please God don't let her drop him."



The little girl did a fine job -- the baby's head did flop around a few times, but she managed okay the rest of the time.... but if that had been Britney Spears' baby.... this would be all over the tabloids!

New Year's Resolution

We all do it.... make resolutions we know we won't keep, even though we'd like to..... I'm no different. Most years, my resolutions revolve around swearing less, managing my (our) money better and getting back in shape. In an effort to achieve the latter, I've fallen prey to many a infomercial.....

The Firm is really hard.... and what's worse, it requires a significant level of coordination -- I am many things.... coordinated is not one of them. Seriously, it's not that the movements are that hard -- it's the rapid succession and the fact that the perky little bitch on the DVD doesn't show you how to do them -- she just launches into them at full speed. There's a better chance of me falling down with this routine than getting in shape.

Windsor Pilates is not as hard, it's significantly more low key and ladylike -- but...... I didn't feel like I was doing anything. You can get through the basic DVD without even breaking a sweat.... I'm sure it works, but..... you need to sweat at least a little bit, don't you?

Core Secrets looked good on TV, it really did -- and it looked like something I could commit to.... but it came with this "fitness ball" that needed to be inflated with this pedal...... let's just say, if I could inflate this thing, I wouldn't need to get in shape.

Rather than buy into one of these TV gimmicks again this year, I've decided to do what works best for me -- fierce competition. The most faithful I've ever been to a diet was when Aunt P and I did Weight Watchers together -- we actually tracked what we ate each day and emailed the list to each other -- or when the Big Dubya and I did Atkins together -- there was no way I was going to let him beat me.... (by the way, we looked awesome).

Relax, I'm not going to record everything I eat in this space -- but last year, I announced on this very site that I was going to start a diet..... figuring the public shame of cheating would be enough to keep me honest -- and it did -- I was doing great. But..... then I got pregnant again and the diet had to be put on hold.

Well, the baby's now 6 weeks old -- and I'm roughly 5lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight.... which was roughly 7lbs more than I'd like to be -- so , what I'm saying is that I'd like to lose 12lbs.

Rest assured, I'm not converting this to a dieting site -- but, once a week (on Fridays), I will brag about my progress (or confess my setbacks) until I hit this goal. If there's anybody else that would like to join the weight-loss crusade..... please feel free.

Dear Mr & Mrs Big Dubya

Dear Mr & Mrs Big Dubya,

Just a quick note to thank you and your family for single handedly helping us make our quarterly earnings. If it weren't for you and your vomiting children, we most certainly wouldn't have sold enough Tide and Dreft to meet our lofty year-end sales goal. Although we were sorry to hear about their "nasty-assed virus" (technical term used by the pediatrician on Friday morning), we were thrilled to hear that you'd be working on the weekend's 11th load of laundry by noon on Saturday.

We have passed your names along to our good friends over at Maytag.... they will surely want to know about the work you are doing with their washer/dryer.

Sincerely,
Proctor & Gamble
(manufacturers of Tide & Dreft Laundry Detergent)

Cleaning out the closet

Okay, so.... the 'lil dubyette will be moving into what has historically been known as our guest room and as a result, we need to clean the room out. More specifically, I need to clean out the closet in that room....... the closet that, for the past three years, has primarily been used to house the "overflow" of my wardrobe.

What's in the "overflow" closet you might ask..... well, back in the mid-90's the concept of "business casual" had not yet emerged.... we all wore suits to work. Thinking that I was more high upwardly mobile than I was.... I bought pretty good suits (Ann Taylor, Jones New York, Evan Piccone, etc) so, when the "business casual" concept caught on -- I was hesitant to part with these clothes.... just in case I'd find myself needing them again.

This argument makes a little bit of sense, unless you factor in the fact that all of these suits and dresses are size 4.... I am not.

Like most women, I tell myself that I'll lose a few pounds and get back into them -- and, who knows.... I might. So, as I survey the items in this closet, I've began asking a new question. "Mrs Big Dubya, if you manage to lose 10lbs...... AND found yourself in position to fit into these AND in a job where you need to wear a suit..... would you ever wear this thing again?"

Surprise, surprise...... for the most part the answer is a big fat NO! I can't believe I ever wore some of this stuff..... granted, some of it is nice -- but...... some of it...... UGH, what were we thinking?

So..... I'll be making a trip to the GoodWill this weekend -- can you say tax deduction?

Rest in Peace

Joe Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera fame) passed away on Monday.... he was 95.

Obviously, I never knew Mr Barbera (or Mr Hanna who passed away in 2001), but I don't think I'm alone in saying that they were part of my growing up. I was never a big cartoon-watcher, but The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Tom & Jerry, Scooby Doo and so many other cartoon characters were favorites -- Hey, George Jetson gave me my engagement ring (but that's a story for another post).

Rest in peace Mr Barbera.

Holiday Madness

So, we all heard about the craze for Elmo TMX....

I remember walking through KBToys with the Big Dubya and 'lil Dubya and seeing a sign... "coming soon, reserve yours today" and laughing ..... as if I would ever get swept up in that nonsense. We joked that the only way we'd end up with "one of those things" in our home would be if the grandparents got one for the 'lil man.

Sometime in September, Granny & I took the 'lil guy to NY to visit my cousins and their twins (yes, two sisters both with a set of twins). While chatting with one cousin the topic of Elmo came up -- apparently she'd been feverishly trying to secure a couple.... one for her kids, one for her sisters'. In an instant, my competitive nature began to shine through...... sheepishly, I didn't admit that I'd poo-pooed the idea.... instead, I now felt this desperate urge... I needed to get one for my kid too!

Of course by this time they were selling for several hundred dollars on ebay and I was not going to get sucked into that trap -- so, I began scouring the internet.... etoys.com, ToysRUs.com..... every site I could think of -- and of course, there wasn't an Elmo to be had anywhere. Once separated from my cousin, the appeal of Elmo wavered and I was sane once again (relatively speaking of course). I mean really, come February you'll be able to get as many Elmos as you want -- the 'lil Dubya's only 18 mos and doesn't watch much TV.... he doesn't even know who Elmo is.

Last Wednesday morning, the Big Dubya was getting ready for work and we had the news on.... (yes Kara, Fox News). The anchor reported that WalMart.com would be releasing 4,000 Elmos at noon each day for a week. I couldn't believe it..... 4,000 Elmos a day!

The fever returned -- and Wow, here's my chance! I was getting one of these bad boys one way or another. The Big Dubya has been very patient with my post-partum hormonal roller coaster..... so, he reluctantly agreed to help.... and of course, no retail/internet plot would be complete without Aunt P.... she's always a willing accomplice.

So, as you would suspect at noon, we all began clicking like crazy..... Aunt P and I were unsuccessful, but the Big Dubya happily reported that he'd secured an Elmo and it was on it's way to our house.....

Whooo Hoooo Christmas has been saved!!

If only I'd let the mania end there.... but no, I needed to get one for the twins too....

On Thursday we all tried again..... and all three of us ended up Elmo-less. But, all hope wasn't lost -- we still had Friday.....

But then, out of the blue my phone rang on Thursday afternoon, it was Aunt P and she was screaming, "Do we need expedited shipping?"..... what? huh? "I got one! I got an Elmo! Do we need expedited shipping?"

Immediately I jumped online and I too was able to get an Elmo..... I had it shipped directly to my cousin in NY..... three Elmos! we were able to secure three Elmos!

One for the 'lil man, one for the twins, one for W's niece & nephew...... do I dare try to get more? no friends, I let the madness end there.... no need to be greedy, right?

I don't care for Elmo -- Aunt P hates Elmo, but man what a rush!

A partridge in a pear tree..... well not quite, but close enough

So folks, here we are..... 7 days to go..... is your shopping done?

Like everyone, there are a few people on my list that are Impossible to buy for.... I mean, what do you buy for the people who have everything. The Big Dubya's parents for example -- he's retired, she's near retired and they are beginning to "down-size".

Translation: Hey Mrs Big Dubya, those Hummels you've been buying are nice and all, but they are no longer appreciated, as we are in the process of pruning down the collection -- and before long, we'll be dumping them on giving them to you

Of course, they would never say that -- but, that's kind of where they are in their life.

Aunt P and Mr Tall Guy -- well, they are DINKS (double income no kids) -- what they want, they buy for themselves long before we have the opportunity to give it to them as a gift (assuming we could afford it anyway).

The list of tough people to buy for goes on and on..... so, I think this year.... everyone's getting a flock of geese. This is a great organization that helps out needy people in developing countries by providing them with live stock. And, you can choose just how generous you want to be -- they have a menu for lack of a better word. A heifer is $500, but a share of a heifer is only $50.... a sheep goes for $120, but a share of a sheep is an affordable $10.

If someone on your list truly has everything they need (and fortunately, that's probably most of us) -- give them the satisfaction of helping someone who really does need something.

Condiments.... not just for breakfast anymore.

So, the 'lil man has discovered condiments.....

I suppose it's my fault. We were eating dinner the other night and he watched intently as I dipped something in ranch dressing.... I think it was a french fry. Anyway, he handed me one of his fries -- I dipped it for him and he proceeded to lick the dressing off the fry, and so it began. He kept handing me back the same soggy fry (which proceeded to get soggier and soggier).... asking me to dip it so that he could suck the dressing off of it.

As it turns out, it's not just ranch dressing -- he likes to suck honey mustard, ketchup, syrup and cheese sauce off of his food. I'm not sure exactly how to explain the concept of a condiment to an 18-month old..... but for now.... it's ketchup for lunch.

C'mon...... Who's yours?

It's been well documented here that I just don't like people. I wish I did..... if there was one thing that I could change about myself, that might just be it. I'm not even sure if it's that I don't like people or if it's that I just don't like dealing with people.

I know that for the most part I'm alone..... generally speaking, I think most people like other people. However, I do think that in one area I may have some company.

Is there a celebrity (or group of celebrities) that you just simply can't stand...... and for no good reason? I mean, there are certain celebrities that I know absolutely nothing about, yet I can't stand the sight of them.... they drive me bananas.... and then there are others that I think are so totally cool -- again, with no information about them.

Please feel free to share celebrities that fall into either category for you......

My Weekend -- by Mrs Big Dubya

On Saturday morning I called Disney to open up a can of whoop-ass. I wanted some sort of explanation regarding my order -- fortunately for me (and for the poor humorless gal that took my call), I learned that my order is in process and will be arriving shortly -- the emails I got in response to my inquiries were "canned" and do not apply to my particular order. Crisis averted....a but, let's talk about some crappy service.

Later in the day, the Big Dubya and I attempted to take our Christmas card photo.... "attempted" is the key word. The 'lil Dubya was actually pretty good, but trying to get him to hold his sister without crushing her..... well, that was asking a bit much. I'm guessing that some of the shots that don't make the cut will end up on the Big Dubya's site..... I may try again tonight..... or maybe I'll just drink a bottle of wine.

It's absurd to let this stress me out -- I know, but..... here we are 14 days 'til Christmas and I still don't have a card-suitable photo -- UGHHHH -- maybe I'll start drinking now.

On Sunday we went to our 2:30 appointment at a photographer's studio. I foolishly had it in my head that we could get a photo of the two kids together to give our parents... is this too much to ask? one picture with them both looking the same way -- they don't have to smile, they just have to be awake and not crying..... is this too much? apparently so

Anyway, Dictionary.com includes the following in it's definition of the word "appointment"

1. a fixed mutual agreement for a meeting; engagement
2. a meeting set for a specific time or place

I know the holidays are a tough time to have pictures taken, but when you've got an 18 month old and a 3 week old -- schedules are important -- they are the difference between success and failure. So, when the studio lets us stand around waiting... in an area where the 'lil man can't run free... for a good 30 minutes... the window of opportunity for a decent photo quickly evaporates.

The 'lil man was tired of being still -- he'd spend close to an hour in a car seat, then some more time in a stroller and now was being told that he couldn't run around. He was antsy and hungry (I wouldn't let him eat in his good clothes!) 'Lil Dubyette on the other hand wouldn't wake up -- I thought this was going to be a problem, until she did wake up... and was hungry... and wanted to be fed rather than held by her brother.....

So, when we finally got into the studio -- the 'lil man was thrilled to be able to run around and the 'lil princess was starved so, she just cried... and cried... making us long for the time when she was simply asleep. As a result, we left with two less-than-stellar individual photos -- and not a single brother-sister shot.

With less than two-weeks 'til Christmas, it's unlikely that I'll get another appointment -- but I'm tempted.....

Christmas Specials:
ABC Family is showing Mary Poppins.... a lovely movie, but hardly a holiday special. I did watch Polar Express on Saturday night -- it was cute, moved a bit slow.... not sure I'd put it up there in my list of faves, but..... it was watchable.

Okay folks, trying not to panic

So, I posted yesterday about being annoyed with Disney because they had sent me a coupon AFTER I'd placed an order..... essentially robbing me of the opportunity to save money. I know it makes me sound incredibly cheap -- and that's not really the case -- I just hate overpaying for stuff.

Anyway, seeing that the merchandise hasn't shipped yet -- I sent Disney an email asking if I could still apply the coupon..... figured, what have I got to lose.... the worst that can happen is that they say "no."

I got a response this morning that truly boggles the mind..... it basically didn't answer the question at all, but instead informed me that the stuff I ordered back on November 22nd is on back-order and won't be available until the third week of January at the earliest. By the way.... this is the first I'm hearing of this!!!! This particular order consists of Christmas gifts for 5 children ranging in age from 3-5..... I'm guessing that they won't understand the concept of "back-order"..... they'll just think the Dubya's don't have their shit together.

So, Mr Disney..... here are my questions:

Why is the stuff I ordered back in November now suddenly on "back-order"?
Why was I not notified until I initiated correspondence regarding your price adjustment policy? It would have been nice to have the opportunity to select alternate gifts.
What are you offering as a replacement/substitute product?
Why are you still accepting orders for these items saying that if ordered by 12/4 then they'll be delivered prior to Christmas? Mine were ordered on November 11th and apparently aren't coming 'til January!
What am I supposed to tell these 5 small children on Christmas morning, huh????

I'll let you know what response Mr. Disney sends.....

Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family is showing the Polar Express at 8:00 and 10:30..... I haven't seen this, so I may watch just to see what it's all about. They are also showing Jack Frost at 7:00, but.... I've never gotten it.

Additionally, ABC Family is running a marathon of holiday specials on Saturday -- see here for details.

Not my year for shopping

Beware, holiday rant follows:

Okay, so..... the 'lil Dubyette was due December 2nd. As a result, I had intended to do the bulk of my holiday shopping early -- figuring that the 'lil lady might be late and/or might not appreciate being lugged from store to store in the cold during her first few weeks of life.

I thought this was the prudent course of action..... what I didn't count on was that all the stores would wait until mid-December to put their stuff on sale.

When did I learn the promo code for LLBean's free shipping? yep, three days after I placed an order and paid $8 to have the crap mailed to me -- the free shipping code is 2324840 in case you were wondering. Oh, and by the way... starting today they'll give you a $10 gift card for spending $50 -- yeah, sucks to be me.... cause in an attempt to be a good parent, I ordered early.

Let's move on to Disney -- I ordered several items from them back in November because they said if you wanted it personalized it would take several weeks...... yeah, well the coupons for an additional 27% off arrived in my inbox today (Code for that one is GOOFY27)-- once again, sucks to be me. I sent them an email seeing that the merchandise hasn't even shipped yet -- maybe I'll get lucky..... I'll keep you posted

I ordered a couple of Christmas ornaments from Lenox -- again, personalized for the 'lil lady's first Christmas...... that afternoon, I received a coupon for $10 off.... are you kidding me???? I emailed them pronto and asked if they'd accept the coupon seeing that I'd place the order only hours before -- fortunately, they did....

I realize that it's only a couple of bucks here and a couple of bucks there, but..... I hate over-paying for stuff. Before you order anything online, go to www.naughtycodes.com -- they list online coupon/promotion codes for every store you can think of

Tonight's Holiday LineUp
ABC Family
7:00 Santa Claus is Comin' to Town -- (one of my all time favorites!)

Joy, Noel....... or maybe Peace

So, last year I posted here about wanting some Christmas stocking holders from Pottery Barn.

Unfortunately, I had been too slow and by the time I got around to getting them..... Pottery Barn had sold out. At the time, we only had one child -- but the Big Dubya and I had agreed to try for one more...... so, although for 2005 we only needed three stocking holders ("JOY")


we had decided to purchase four ("NOEL") in the hope that by Christmas 2006 we'd have four stockings to hang by the chimney with care.


So, with a little help from eBay -- I got the stocking holders and they look just smashing on our mantle with our four LLBean Christmas stockings dangling from them. (We'll discuss later how the stockings had to be taken down three minutes after they were put up so that the 'lil Dubya wouldn't pull the very heavy letters down on his head).

Now, call it a post-partum episode.... call it sleep deprivation..... call it sheer madness.... call it whatever the hell you want but, I'd kind of like to swap out "NOEL" for "PEACE" in 2007.



I mentioned this to the Big Dubya yesterday and he responded by sticking is fingers in his ears and screaming "La, La, La, I can't hear you" at the top of his lungs. He also mentioned something about 4 being a nice even number and that's when I stopped listening to him......

I'm sure my latest bout of baby fever will pass..... but these amazing little people are addictive.

Christmas Specials on TV Tonight!

Tonight on ABC Family,
7:00 Rudolph's Stupid (I mean Shiny) New Year
8:00 The Year Without A Santa Claus (This is a great one.... a classic..... a can't miss)
8:30 Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer & The Island of Misfit Toys

Holiday TV Specials

Last year, I posted the holiday TV specials scheduled for each of the 25 days leading up to Christmas.

It seemed like a great idea at the time, until I realized that the same specials were played over and over again....... and found myself posting the same shows day after day after day. Additionally, it appears that the television networks have a different definition of "holiday special" than the Dubyas...... Home Alone? Harry Potter..... nice movies, but not (in my opinion) "holiday special" material.

This year, I'm not going to post every day's schedule -- I'll probably just mention the airing of shows that are particularly special to me -- but that's it.

ABC Family airs the majority of the holiday specials, and you can see their schedule here.