Not sure why it bothers me, but it really does.......
This morning Granny (my mother) called and got me even more aggravated than I was to begin with. She began the conversation inquiring as to whether or not the Big Dubya had returned from his business trip (the second out-of-state stint in two weeks). I let her know that he had..... then she started singing the praises of the Big Dubya..... it must have been terrible while he was gone..... he's so good, he does so much..... Gee, ya think? Yes, it's harder to manage the 'lil man on my own -- particularly because I'm 8months pregnant -- it's really just the little things that become a challenge.... bending over to give him a bath, carrying him up the stairs -- but, we managed..... lots of women do it all by themselves all the time.
Here's my question -- and probably the line of thinking that makes me an ungrateful bitch..... as, I know that my husband is probably better than most, but......
We BOTH work full-time, we BOTH have demanding jobs...... why shouldn't he do stuff around the house and why shouldn't he be partly responsible for caring for our child (soon to be children). I mean, WE BOTH agreed to buy the house..... WE BOTH prefer to live in a clean house rather than basking in our own filth..... WE BOTH agreed to have children....
But, let's get excessively picking and note my specific and deliberate word-choice here..... because I think it's telling. I didn't say that he "helps" me -- I said that he's "partly responsible" -- You see, Granny thinks that the Big Dubya "helps" me by participating in these activities.......Hmmmmmm, how is caring for OUR child or sweeping the kitchen floor of OUR house "helping" me?
I don't consider doing the weekly food shopping, paying all the bills, staying on top of all the laundry as "helping" him..... I consider it pulling my weight, doing my share of the work -- yet, when the Big Dubya manages to load the dishwasher -- Granny thinks he deserves some sort of trophy. Why is that? Why is giving the 'lil Dubya a bath or washing his bottles considered doing ME a "favor"?
Anyone able to help me see the light..... cuz, I don't get it?
October 12, 2006
A bit cranky today....
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2 comments:
I think it is that people are still un-used to men being an active participant in their family. Some men still aren't, but more and more are becoming that way. Maybe she just didn't have that or she just still uses the wrong wording. I don't know you or your family except what you blog, but I think men should be involved in their families. My step-dad was, but he was considered weird and that was the 80's. My mom never had to tell him when bath time was and which kid liked their sandwiches plain. And I can guarnetee you my husband does not help me around the house, he takes care of it and our children and pup as much as I do....well mostly. ;) But it's still weird sounding to people of a certain age. It is changing though and hopefully my kids and your will never have to hear the words, oh it's so nice that he helps you.
I can see why it would have pissed you off though.
I think it's a generational thing also. My grandma (Clare's great grandma) was puzzled by the fact I was going back to work after she was born.
I would have been upset at the words, too.
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