Riptides of emotion are drowning me

Is it the winter blahs? the baby blues? a touch of post-partum depression? or just being completely overwhelmed by trying to juggle my life?

I don't know -- but there is something seriously wrong with me. I've started this post a dozen times and each time I opted not to write it..... wasn't really sure what the reception would be and I'm in no frame of mind to argue with anonymous nit-wits (this means you so keep your rude comments to yourself bucko), but I write what's on my mind, so here it goes.

I'm a basket-case -- half the time..... the rest of the time, I'm just a very tired version of my old self. I'm not an excessively emotional person.... but these days I cry (I mean uncontrollable blubbering, crying and sobbing) over the littlest things... or nothing at all. Poor Mr Big Dubya doesn't know what to do with me.... he asks "Are you okay?" and I snap at him for asking that question too often. But, if he goes a few hours without asking.... well then I yell at him for not caring enough about me -- oh yeah, I'm a real treat to be around these days.

Our neighbor stopped by last week -- she has an 8 month old and was very candid with us about suffering post-partum depression after his very difficult birth. She described her experience and swears that a prescription was what saved her and enabled her to enjoy the first few months of motherhood rather than getting lost in a deep state of depression (Tom Cruise fans.... zip it -- I don't want to hear it). Listening to her made me wonder if maybe I have a mild case of post-partum depression myself. The Big Dubya jumped on the happy-pill-bus immediately, encouraging me to get to the doctor's office for an RX -- I'm not sure I'm there yet, but...... we'll see.

I used to wonder if Post Partum was a real thing? Of course I don't mean the Andrea Yates brand of the affliction, I just mean the plain-old-ordinary-run-of-the-mill baby blues -- I don't wonder anymore.

In my case p.p.d. might not be the problem at all -- it may just be that I've just got a lot of shit going on at the moment -- two babies under two, a house (currently under renovation), a full-time job in a demanding field.... and with my family living so far away, my only support system is my husband. Add all that to the fact that I've been breastfeeding my daughter and am now facing some serious supply issues...... which, as irrational as it may sound, makes me feel like I'm failing her..... maybe I'm just suffering from good-old-fashioned exhaustion.

So earlier this week, I broke down and called the lactation consultant. I'd been hesitant to do this because I just assumed that she was going to tell me that I need to pump more, work less and make sure my baby never, ever gets formula. Some of these people (which I am convinced is a cult) make you feel like feeding your baby formula is the equivalent of child abuse and that if you don't breast-feed 100% you are a slacker.

I was wrong -- she was so kind and understanding and reasonable -- she told me to stop beating myself up, and more importantly stop stressing --- the stress was probably doing more harm to my milk supply than anything else. She said that setting my alarm to pump in the middle of the night in an effort to increase my supply and meet the baby's demand was CRAZY (yes, this is what I was doing) -- staying asleep and getting some much needed rest would do more.

I felt so much better after our conversation -- breastfeeding mothers are awesome, but they can be so judgemental -- especially if breastfeeding wasn't a struggle for them. They often don't understand and just assume that you either stop or supplement with formula because you are lazy or not committed -- this is not always true. Sometimes (like in my case) you need to supplement with formula because your baby isn't gaining enough weight with breast milk alone (who knew my milk was skim?) sometimes you just can't pump enough to keep up with their demand. The consultant told me about a woman who was literally starving her baby because the la leche league told her formula was unacceptable. I guess like with everything else, a little common sense goes a long way.

Anyway, I haven't turned to the happy pills yet, but......

Overheard at the Dubya House

The Morning after St Patrick's Day:
Mrs Big Dubya: Honey, Did you really drink 5 Guinness last night? I bought 8 and there are only 3 left....
Mr Big Dubya: (Sheepishly) No, I had an accident with one
Mrs Big Dubya: (Incredulously) Accident? What kind of accident?
Mr Big Dubya: Well, I put a couple in the freezer to chill and, well...
Mrs Big Dubya: Exploded, huh?
Mr Big Dubya: No, I left them in too long and the widget...... it didn't.... it didn't..... it didn't widgetize.... so it tasted like shit
Mrs Big Dubya: Widgetize?
Mr Big Dubya: Yeah, you know that chip in the can..... it really does make a difference

After a new neighbor stopped by:
Mrs Big Dubya: I really like her
Mr Big Dubya: Still think she's crazy?
Mrs Big Dubya: Oh, absolutely -- but she's our kind of crazy
Mr Big Dubya: Yeah, she is, isn't she?..... poor thing.

Happy Weekend Everybody!

They like me, they really like me!

For months.... years even, the Big Dubya's been coming home constantly telling me about this one or that one with real literary cred reading his blog or his posts on DadCentric and commenting on how smart, charming and/or witty he was...... yeah, yeah, yeah.... I know, you are awesome...... WHATEVAH!

But.....now, it's happened to me too! well, okay us.... but not just him, me too!

Jenn from Dad said Mom said asked us to join their couples blog -- it's a parenting point/counter-point for parents like us -- just trying to figure out how to deal with these little people we've got living with us.... and not ALWAYS agreeing on the best approach 'cause let's face it -- the Cunninghams we ain't.

I'm very excited -- the couples take turns posting (new posts go up each Friday) and we are now officially in the rotation.

Of course I've got the usual amount of performance anxiety.... what if our post isn't good.... or witty... or insightful..... what if they regret asking us.....

Anyway, we need a topic for our debut-- feel free to make suggestions!

I'm the not-so proud owner of a nifty new gas can

Been so busy the past few days, weeks, months..... I've been a bit of a slacker when it comes to posts here in MrsBigDubya-land. Here in CT, we've had our first 70-degree day and we've gotten a foot of snow all in the same three-day span!

My good friend CapeBuffalo checked in to say that she and the baby Buffalo are alive and well and living the good life in Paris..... she was also kind enough to tag me for a meme, and although this is not profound..... here goes nothin'

Real mothers know how to entertain their kids indefinitely

with nothing more than the contents of their purse

So, here's a quick story about how my 'lil world's been turnin' lately.

Last Thursday I had an 8:00am meeting with all the Big Cheeses in my department. As such, the Big Dubya graciously agreed to swap drop-off/pick-up duties with me so I wouldn't risk being tardy. The meeting went fine.... just what you'd expect.... the big thinkers talking about their big thoughts. After the meeting I decided I should go down to the health center to pump before my day got too busy, or my boobs got too full. Well, I got down their to discover that I was missing two key components to my pump UGH!!!!. Little things like this happened to me all day -- none of which on their own would have bothered me, but compounded by the fact that I had two cantaloupes sitting on my chest..... I was very unhappy, stressed out and emotional.

I finally had enough and decided to bail a couple hours early -- not too many people look for me in the afternoon -- so I could just login and wrap up some stuff from home. On my way, I realized that I needed gas -- but figured I could make it (mistake #1). I got almost all the way to the daycare and stopped off at the cheap-gas gas station and got in line.... and waited.... and waited.... and waited. I finally got fed up and left -- there's another station a mile down the road (mistake #2). A bit down the road, there was an accident -- leaving us all parked on this road.... and that's when the car began to chug and eventually stall-out because it was out of gas.

I allowed the car to coast down the hill just enough for me to turn onto a small side street. At this point I knew this was my own damn fault and I got out of the car to walk down to the gas station which was still about a ½ mile away. The man at the gas station had no sympathy and proceeded to rob me by charging me $13.99 for a gas can (not including the gas) that should cost $3 or $4. On my way back to the car it started to rain (of course it did) and this all stopped being even kind of funny. I had asked the man to show me how to use the gas can's nozzle, he chuckled and told me it was easy -- well, it wasn't. I assembled it as the sticker instructed but no gas would come out -- and the "spill-proof" valve was spilling all over me and the street.

At this point I was standing in a puddle of gas and I was just totally pissed off -- I remembered there was a Poland Springs bottle in the pocket of the passenger side door so I spilled out the water and began to fill the tiny plastic bottle with gas -- yep, more gas on the ground and on my feet... I got two bottles full into the car and thought that should be enough to get the car started and me to the gas station -- it wasn't.

This is where I gave in and started to cry, and not the kind of sniffing cry -- this was an all out blubbering -- I was soaking wet from the rain, I smelled like gas, I was going to be late to pick up my kids, my boobs were like two big bowling balls and my car wouldn't start.

I called the Big Dubya and just blubbered -- the poor guy, he had to deal with me on the other end of the phone. He asked if he should call AAA for me -- I was too embarrassed -- how could I explain all the gas on the ground and the Poland Springs bottle.... not to mention my latest fragrance au de gasoline. I told him I'd just see him at home -- and asked him to pick up the babies.

After I got off the phone I did what I could to compose myself and remembered that there was a bottle of apple juice in the stroller. The apple juice bottle had a wider mouth than the Poland Springs bottle and should be easier to get the gas into -- sure enough it was. I put another bottle of gas in the car and got it to start -- and it was running...barely. I rolled down the hill to the gas station and filled my tank.

When I finally got home I had a beer and a really long shower.

Don't Hate Me Because I'm a Republican

All too often conversations like the following occur in the Dubya house:

Mrs Big Dubya: I'm not going to read so-and-so's blog anymore
Mr Big Dubya: Why? They're as funny as all hell
Mrs Big Dubya: They are mean to Republicans -- he/she hurt my feelings with a post today
Mr Big Dubya: Well, then you're gonna run out of blogs to read
Mrs Big Dubya: Yeah, I know

My name is Mrs Big Dubya and I'm a Conservative -- That's right..... the Big Dubya and I are registered Republicans. We're outcasts here in the Liberal Blogsphere..... and my feelings get hurt on a regular basis by my fellow bloggers, as they constantly paint us with a broad and unfair brush of stereotypes and generalities.

Some of my closest friends are on the opposite side of the political spectrum -- but we manage to acknowledge the fact neither of us came to our position lightly -- we just believe in taking different approaches to solving some very complex issues. I learn so much from discussions with my liberal friends -- in some cases they can sway me more toward the middle and in some cases they help me reaffirm my position -- but I'm more informed because of the discussion -- I hope they are too. This seems more constructive than implying that conservatives dislike gays, women, the elderly, the sick, the poor and just about every other group.

Rather than stop reading some of my favorite blogs, I thought I might try to dispel some conservative myths

We don't hate charity -- as was implied by a fellow blogger recently.
We don't hate women
We don't love war
We don't hate illegal aliens -- we just want people to come to our country legally -- like we all learned in kindergarten -- take your turn... if it's worth having, it's worth waiting for.
We don't hate the poor -- or the sick for that matter.
We don't dislike gays or lesbians
We don't hate teachers or want to leave children behind without the ability to read

I won't pretend there aren't some nut-job republicans... of course there are, but there are embarrassments in every group.

Now, if you'll excuse me -- I'm going to go eat some kittens for dinner.

It's Friday and it's Cocktail Time

*** Warning to readers who don't approve of cocktailing..... this post includes adult beverage recommendations ***

So, a week or so ago I was watching the Foodnetwork and this woman (who I generally can't stand) was on and she made this yummy looking concoction -- I figured, what the heck, I'll give it a whirl and YUMMMMMM!!!

Now, her recipe is as follows:

2 shots coffee drink (recommended: Starbucks Frappuccino)
1 shot vodka

Fill a martini shaker with ice cubes.
Add coffee drink and vodka.
Shake vigorously.
Strain into a martini glass. Top glass with remaining foam from shaker.

I used the Starbucks Mocha Frappuccio and ratio of 2:1 was a bit strong for me (give me a break, I've spent 20 of the last 30 months pregnant), so I made it with a half a shot (Stoli Vanil) instead and it was still delicious.....



Enjoy

I was not an English major

I was not an English major..... I was a Psych major, and now I work in investment tax -- I'll explain all that some other day.

Today, I'm going to complain about the mis-use of a beautiful thing called the English language.

Mrs Big Dubya's Language Pet Peeves:

1. Irrespective is a word.... Regardless is a word.... Irregardless IS NOT a word!

2. Wholenuther.... what is that? Whole other is fine..... Fluffernutter is fine..... Wholenuther..... not-so-much.

3. If you are going to pay $5 for it and wait 10 minutes for them to make it for you-- learn what it's called Espresso -- not Expresso

Anybody got some to add?

Paying the price of technology

My parents are from Ireland -- they both grew up in small (and fairly remote) villages. Growing up, I had the good fortune of going to Ireland in the summers. The village my Dad grew up in was very quiet -- beautiful, secluded and quiet. It sounds like a dream, doesn't it? I mean -- we'd wake up in the morning to the sound of sheep -- our days were filled with long walks and paddling around the lake in a small boat. Today, this sound like heaven to me -- to an eleven year old me, well...... after the first day it was pretty boring. We wouldn't have dreamed of complaining though, instead -- we devoured books and played never-ending games of Uno and solitaire.

I was eleven, when my grandfather taught me to play solitaire -- it's probably the only thing that he ever taught me. The cards were well worn -- they were soft and buttery, they were browning around the edges -- my grandparents never threw anything out -- new cards would never even be considered. I remember setting the cards up and spending an eternity looking for that next move...... Even now, I think of my grandfather when I play solitaire -- he would never approve of me cheating, even though I'd want to -- it was a far more attractive alternative to shuffling and setting up a new game.

I can't remember the last time I played solitaire with an actual deck of cards. Now, like most people, I play on a computer or on my pda (it passes the time while I pump). The electronic version doesn't let you cheat -- so, that's no longer a temptation -- but, it's so easy to give up and deal a new game -- so much of the strategy and deliberation is gone... if a game isn't going well, you can start over with a click of the mouse.

Technology has changed so many of the good old fashioned pass-times. TV, video games, computers...... they've really stolen the thunder of card games, board games and good books. I'm not sure we have a deck of cards...... but if we don't, I think I'm going to pick one up.

I pulled out the 'lil man's Bumbo chair today

I pulled out the 'lil man's Bumbo chair today because I needed someplace to put her



While I dealt with this....



Happy Weekend!

Oh My God..... Guess Who Works Here?

On Saturday morning, the Dubyas took the 'lil Dubyas to get their photos done. It was really just to get 'lil Dubyette's 3 month pics done, but I figured seeing that the Christmas photo was such a disaster -- maybe we could scoot the 'lil man in for a couple of shots with his sister. Is it really too much for a mother to ask.... one picture of her two kids together, smiling, looking in the same direction sans drool????

Anyway, while we were waiting to have the photos printed (and NO, I was unable to get a picture of the two of them worthy of purchase), we couldn't help but notice the family next to us. Mom was about 6ish months pregnant and son was about 4 and very ill-behaved. Mom and Dad kept jumping through hoops to get this kid to behave -- we'll take you to lunch -- we'll give you candy -- we'll let you pick out a toy.......

Good God people, try a little discipline. How 'bout "Stop hitting the lady or we are leaving and you'll be (insert appropriate punishment here) when we get home" and when child continues to slap the poor employee -- FOLLOW THROUGH with the threat!

In fairness to the kid, this couple was ridiculous.... I mean, it didn't take me that long to pick the pictures for our wedding album. And hello people, you are in the mall...... I know you want to take photos of your kid kissing your big ole pregnant belly (I mean I never did -- but different strokes, right?), but...... you aren't going to get Ann Geddes or Annie Leibovitz -- you are going to get a mall photographer doing her very best.

Anyway, imagine my shock and dismay when I ran into the Mom in our cafeteria this morning.... Gee, I hope she didn't see me roll my eyes on Saturday when she promised her bratty kid a trip the Rainforest Cafe to see the monkeys.

I finally pulled the trigger

Yep, I finally called a cleaning lady -- she'll be here at noon to "assess" us........ it's 11:31 and the Big Dubya and I have been taking turns cleaning/managing the tots since 7. This is probably the cleanest our house has been since pre-baby days.... not even sure we need her now.

I had my performance appraisal last week and although I won't know my raise/bonus numbers 'til Tuesday, I was told by my boss that I'll be "happy" with what I get -- so, I called a raspy voiced woman and she agreed to come over today. She said that her fee is based on a few factors..... house size and occupants among them. In our favor.... we have no pets.... working "against" us is that we have "two under two"

Aunt P teased me for being a bit nervous

Aunt P: You are interviewing her
Me: I know, but what if we are too far gone? What if we are too serious a case for her to take on? What if she tells her cleaning lady friends about us?
Aunt P: Wouldn't that be funny? At least you'd have something to blog about.
Me: Shut up!

It's 11:44 -- she'll be here in 16 minutes.... UGH

Babysitting

Last Friday, the Big Dubya and I celebrated 5 years of wedded bliss. We thought a quiet dinner out would be a nice way to mark the occasion -- but, we don't have a babysitter. We aren't from the area and our families are just shy of 3 hours away. I joked that we could celebrate by getting two toppings on the pizza instead of just one -- Dubya wasn't amused.

In fairness, Aunt P volunteered to come out and stay with the kids so we could go out for dinner or even away overnight (I'm just not ready for that yet). The problem with that very generous offer is..... if my sister drives the 3 hours to visit, I want to hang out with her -- not leave her at my house caring for my children.

Most of the time this is not an issue -- we take our kids almost everywhere and in general we enjoy spending time at home with them. However, once in a while even Moms and Dads need to go out on a date. I've considered asking one of the daycare teachers if they'd be interested in doing some babysitting for us from time-to-time, but I recently discovered that it's against the rules!!!

Our solution this time was to drive back to Boston and have my parents babysit while we went out for dinner and a show. Sadly, the Big Dubya got stuck in so much after-work traffic that we missed the show, but we did manage to go for a lovely dinner.

This is not the first time this issue has come up -- when we went to AZ with another family for Thanksgiving last year, they suggested we use the hotel babysitter so that we could do one adult-only dinner out. The 'lil man was only 5 months old and I just didn't like the idea of leaving him with strangers -- so, the Big Dubya and I stayed home with all the kids and let the other couple go take in a movie. Another time, we went to Disney... friends of ours wanted to call a highly recommended babysitting service (Fairy Godmothers or All About Kids) so that we could have one evening out -- again, I just wasn't sure I could leave him with strangers and we opted to stay home instead.

Am I alone?

Baby's Got a Mullet

The 'lil Dubyas got himself a mullet.

He's 20 mos and has not has his first haircut yet -- primarily because he's still pretty thin in the front and on top -- but the back.......man, he's got some length back there.

Up until now, it hasn't been all that noticeable because it curled up into these cute little blond curls..... it was only in the bath when it was wet that he resembled a miniature version of Hulk Hogan.


Aunt P suggested we let him get his first haircut in May when we go to Disney -- the Harmony Barber Shop in the Magic Kingdom specializes in "first haircuts" and makes a big fuss -- complete with Mickey Ears and a fancy Certificate. This seemed like a great idea -- except May is still 3 months away and the kid's getting a little rough looking.

My baby's growing up

Just wondering...

How long before this dumb-ass is in rehab?

Happy Birthday Kara!

Go on over there and give her some birthday love!

Shhhhh, did you hear that?

That was the sound of pounds and inches falling off me...... NOT!

So, I posted a while back that I wanted to get down to my pre-baby #1 weight. Before anybody gets pissed off at me – I’m not a big person. I’m one of those people that other people assume doesn’t have a weight problem. But, because I’m a fairly small person – I really don’t have anywhere to carry extra weight. I may still fit into a single-digit-size, but, clothes don’t hang right and I feel lumpy and lethargic. So, I needed to lose 12lbs in order to feel healthy and better about myself. I managed to shed the first 6½ fairly easily…. I wasn’t starving myself, but I was watching what I was eating. But then I hit a plateau that I just couldn’t seem to get past.

Diet wasn’t enough, I needed to kick it up a notch -- so I decided to embark upon a “couch-to-5K” program – which basically takes a non-runner (like myself) and helps them gradually get up to running 5K.

I began week #2 yesterday and nobody is more shocked than me …… I like it!

I’m in absolute shock because I’ve always HATED running…… absent someone chasing me with a weapon, I wouldn’t even consider running….. but WOW – I like it.

Here are a few reasons why I like it so much –

1. Although I’ve only lost another ½ pound, my pants are starting to fit me better.
2. Following this program only requires 30 minutes 3 times a week….. I can do that!
3. Aunt P bought me an iPod and when I have it on, listening to this guy tell me what to do….. I can’t hear anything. I can’t hear the kids, I can’t hear the phone, for 30 minutes it’s just ME. I’m nobody’s wife, I’m nobody’s mother – I’m just ME doing something that benefits nobody but ME.

I also have a new snack...... Chex makes 100 Calorie packs now -- the Chocolate Caramel is delicious, there's a decent portion and only 2 Weight Watchers Points.

Chatting up a storm

The 'lil man's been speaking for a while -- mostly one word here or there. Mahmeeeyyy, Daahheeee, UUUccce (juice). But over the weekend he went from one word here and there to full phrases.

He dropped one of his Duplos and then out of nowhere, he said "Where'd it go?" and then when he found it under the table he yelled out "I got it!"

Huh?

He went from shouting out one word describing what he wanted to being almost conversational.
He picked up his toy cell phone and said "Lelllloh, Oh Hi Ninny" (we think this translates to "Hello, Oh Hi Granny")

Upon hearing her wake up, he ran to his sister and said "Baayybeee's cryin"

And from his crib last night he yelled "Mahmeeyyy Melllkkkk Tlease" (Mammy, Milk Please)

It's so exciting to see him learn to speak and use language to convey his thoughts -- but it's a little bitter-sweet -- he's my baby.... and he's growing up.

Dear Anonymous

When I started this blog 18ish months ago, it was really just a creative outlet for me while I was on maternity leave. Hubby? Well, he's a serious blogger -- both on his own site and as a contributor to Dadcentric. Me? Well, I'm really just tinkering -- and with the exception of my sister (Aunt P) and a couple of close friends (the Cape Buffalos, Miss America) -- my friends and family don't even know it exists.

As time has gone on, I've picked up a handful of readers (Insurance Mom, Mamacita Tina).... probably through Hubby or Kara... and I stop by and read their sites too -- they seem like good people -- moms figuring it out as they go -- just like me. I don't have a lot of readers, but they seem to be a nice group of people -- and since I joined the Supercoolest Book Club Eva, I've picked up several more.

In the past week I've gotten a few anonymous comments that I'd like to respond to

First, in response to the "Cocktail Playdate" post, I received the following comment

"I may have missed it, but I don’t recall hearing anyone address the idea that these mothers are demonstrating to their children that alcohol has a place in everything.
Child safety and mother’s dependence aside, these mothers are promoting alcohol use by example. Can’t they wait until the kids are in bed to “unwind?”

Thanks for the comment -- you make a couple of good points. First, let me say that I don't believe the segment or I meant to imply that alcohol has a place in everything. I certainly don't believe that -- I think these women were just taking advantage of an opportunity to socialize with other adults while their children played (they were at somebody's home, not a public place). Since having my children, my priorities have changed -- and sadly, my friendships have suffered -- I miss "the girls". Perhaps these moms were trying to remedy this loneliness with some multi-tasking.

As for waiting for children to go to bed to "unwind" with a cocktail -- I'm sure many people do. I know that we often wait 'til our kids are in bed before my husband and I enjoy an after-dinner coffee. It's not because we don't want our kids to know we indulge in caffeine -- it's because we'd like to enjoy a cup beginning to end without having to microwave it three times. I don't think it's as much about NEEDing a drink, as it is about wanting to enjoy a beverage and adult conversation with friends -- something that could not be accomplished at home alone after the kids are in bed (drinking alone? this could be the start of an issue).

Every family does things differently -- in our house, we want our kids to know that some things are just for adults -- this ranges from make-up and high heels to using the stove. I feel that the occasional glass of wine falls into this category.

The next anonymous comment was in response to "I Can't Drive 55"

"For speeding pregnant with a baby in the car you deserve to cop a fine. How dumb can you be? If you crashed that would be three lives lost... selfish."

I appreciate the comment -- the delivery is a bit rude but the sentiment is more than fair.

This incident happened back in October -- I didn't blog about it then because I was so terribly embarrassed for being reckless.

I'll tell you what I told the judge -- the truth (probably because I'm such a lousy liar) -- I was 8 months pregnant, driving from our home in CT to my parents house in MA with my 16 month old son in the backseat.

The 'lil man was screaming and had a foul diaper -- I needed to use the rest room myself. I knew there was a rest stop coming up and my desire to comfort and care for my child took over -- I made the crappy decision to speed up. I was wrong, I made a bad decision and I couldn't feel worse than I already do -- a dirty diaper was certainly the lesser of two evils when I consider what could have happened.

Fortunately for me, the judge was willing to give me a second chance -- he believed me when I told him that I had learned my lesson.


Thanks again for reading and for the comments -- maybe you'll start identifying yourself so I can return the favor.

Best Regards,

Mrs Big Dubya

Playdates & Cocktails

I do not watch the Today Show.... generally when it's on I'm already at work -- but even when I'm home I don't watch..... probably because I think that for the most part they are biased left-wing nut jobs... but, when I was out having my car repaired this morning, it was on in the waiting room and I caught this segment.

First of all.... I've never seen women dressed this well at any play date I've been to (for that matter, I've never seen kids playing outdoors manage to stay that clean) and while I'm at it, I've never seen a mother serve drink boxes to all the kids on a tray.... but I digress

The segment was a follow up to one that aired a few weeks ago. These mothers have weekly play dates and while the kids are playing, they chat and enjoy a glass of wine or a cocktail nearby. Apparently, the Today Show was inundated with emails, letters, etc. outraged at the prospect of these Mom's enjoying alcohol in the presence of their children.

Both sides of the "issue" (is this really an "issue"?) were represented -- and of course the standard points were made "you wouldn't have a problem with a child seeing his dad have a beer while watching football" -- "shouldn't we be modeling responsible moderation for our children"

Okay -- not that anybody asked for it.... but here's my 2 cents. There is no need to get plastered in front of your children -- you are responsible for their safety and well-being so you need to be on your toes and god-forbid they need some sort of transportation or medical attention. However, you did not totally surrender you life when you became a mother.... if you enjoy the occasional glass of wine -- have it. It's good for kids to see mommy take care of herself -- Happy Mommy = Happy Kids

I can't drive 55!

So, back in October......

I was 8 mos pregnant driving from CT back to Boston with the 'lil man (then16 mos) in the backseat. And yes, I got pulled over...... going way too fast.

I thought the officer might show some mercy -- I was visibly (and hugely) pregnant and I had a crying baby in the backseat. In all honesty, I had sped up so that I could get from I-84 to the MassPike and stop at the first rest stop for a snack and a diaper change.

Unfortunately for me, all he felt was the need to write me one big-fat-ticket. When I say big & fat, I mean to the tune of something north of $300. When I got home, I filled out the form to request a hearing in hopes of getting the fine reduced -- I was going too fast -- but this penalty is a bit excessive.

Well, I got my court date -- it was set for January 4th. When the big day arrived, I had come down with that awful virus and could hardly tear myself away from the porcelain pony.... never mind go plead my case, so.... I blew it off. I assumed that they'd simply issue me a bill and I'd get stuck paying the damn ticket.

Instead, I got a letter with a new date and a threat to issue a warrant for my arrest if I didn't show. Well, on the new date..... I was going to be in AC with Dubya and the kids as well as Aunt P, Mr Tall Guy and Granny. What to do, what to do....... there was no phone number, so I sent a letter asking for an alternate date via priority mail to the clerk.... and prayed for the best.

Well, my new date is Thursday..... and I'm suddenly very nervous and unsure as to what to say. I've heard that you can offer to make a donation to a charity in lieu of paying the fee. Although a donation would be stiff, it would be for a good cause and it would avoid any points on my licence.

Anyone want to offer suggestions?

So, I go back to work next week..... I'm so sad about it, I get a bit weepy when I even think about it -- but it's a necessary evil and there will never be a "good" time to go back -- so..... back I'm going.

Granny's gonna come and stay with the 'lil lady for a few weeks -- just to ease me back into things before I have to hand her over to daycare. Don't get me wrong, I've been very pleased with the care the 'lil man's received at daycare -- but..... even after a year -- I still get sad leaving him there in the morning and I'll be heartbroken leaving them both there. If only the Big Dubya would keep his promise to win the powerball -- I could stay home with them and go out of my mind full-time.

My diet..... well, it's kind of at a stand-still. I haven't gained any back.... but I haven't lost any more either. I still need to lose 6lbs -- in the grand scheme of things I recognize that this is not a huge number -- but it's important to me. I had hoped to get rid of the extra weight before I went back to work -- that's not going to happen so it's time to get serious.

Aunt P got married last August and put on a few newlywed pounds -- she and I have been doing Weight Watchers together, but we both acknowledge that we need to kick it up a notch. So, beginning today -- we are starting a program. Participation in this program (for me) was partially inspired by Cape Buffalo and Arwen, the spicy elf -- they trained for and completed a half marathon last month..... honestly, that's a bit too ambitious for me. It's partially a cop-out, but not entirely.... I work full-time, I have a husband, a house and two kids under two. I probably could find the time to make that kind of commitment, but honestly.... at this point -- I don't really want to. I want to spend as much time as I can with my babies -- but I need to carve out a little time to take care of myself --

Anyway, Aunt P found a program -- told me about it and it seems to fit the bill. It's called the couch to 5K program and it's designed for people like me who aren't runners, are out of shape and need to train gradually -- so.... here goes nothin'. I even got Aunt P to treat me to an iPod (yes, she & I were the only two people left on the planet that didn't own an ipod), so that I can use the podcasts -- I have the greatest sister EVER!

I've also joined the super coolest book club evah! -- I used to read all the time. When I took the train to work in the city, I had plenty of time to read and I devoured books. Well, now that I drive to work and have my children -- I haven't been making time to read and it's a crime. So, when this opportunity presented itself, I jumped at the chance.

Now that I'm wrapping up, I realize that this post is about nothing..... oops, sorry -- I'll try harder tomorrow.

For Medicinal Purposes, Of Course

Thanks for the suggestion Arwen..... I tried the teas, the fenugreek capsules and the hot water with the 'lil man...... so, I picked up some of these this morning. I think I'm gonna like this one!

Seperated at birth?

I haven't posted one of these in a while....... and I'm guessing that the picture on the right will give away our 'lil man's first movie-obsession. Yes, morning, noon and night he begs for Buzz...... for those uninitiated -- if it were up to the 'lil Dubya we'd be watching Toy Story and Toy Story 2 twenty-four hours a day.

Anyway, I could help but think that Stinky Pete (the prospector) looked an awful lot like the Dukes of Hazard's Uncle Jesse.

Things I Don't Understand
By Mrs Big Dubya

#1
I don't watch Grey's Anatomy, and am only superficially aware of all the controversy swirling around, but what the hell kinda therapy or rehab is this dude getting? I mean for drugs and/or booze you learn to stop using or drinking...... what's he gonna learn? how to not be hateful? how to not be stupid? how to keep your mouth shut (particularly when there are live cameras EVERYWHERE)?


#2
I'm not a huge fan of horse racing and I like animals as much as the next guy, but there are real news stories to be told -- do we need all this fuss over the passing of Barbaro? People are actually going to Churchill Downs to pay their respects......
"Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby Museum will position large condolence cards at their main customer entrances on Wednesday, Jan. 31, offering customers and race fans the opportunity to send personal messages to the connections of Kentucky Derby 132 winner Barbaro following his death on Jan. 29. "

#3
Sex tapes, nude photos and raunchy diaries...... let me begin by saying I don't have any..... but if I did, I think I'd make an effort to keep track of them.... and I certainly wouldn't keep them in a storage unit and then forget/refuse to pay the bill -- her parents must be so proud. But, while I'm at it.... who'd actually pay $40 to access this scank's stuff?

I really am an insensitive and awful bitch

Okay, so those of you who've been around for a while may recall that breastfeeding the 'lil man was a real struggle for me -- click here for the refresher course.

Thank God the 'lil lady has been far more cooperative -- but, as I approach the inevitable return to work.... I'm beginning to stress out about pumping, maintaining supply all the crap I went through the last time. As is recommended, I've been pumping almost every morning since Christmas in order to build up a back-up supply (our freezer looks like a creepy science lab) -- but, I'm not sure I'm doing all I can, so I've started checking out some of the message boards that exist.... ivillage, kelly mom, even those crazy la leche people in an effort to get some tips from other been-there-done-that mothers who continued nursing after returning to work.

I came across this "tutorial" on how to pump "hands-free" that made me snicker..... yes, after the emotional basket case I became the last time, I really should not laugh...... (I mean, I'm actually taking the product pictured above) but seriously.... check it out.

Random thoughts from the weekend

The Big Dubya and I took the kids and met up with Aunt P, Mr Tall Guy and Granny for a few days of R&R in Atlantic City.

Why AC you ask? Well, it's drivable (4 hours from us here in CT -- a little longer for those in MA) -- the resort is pretty nice (and cheap this time of year) -- and there's lots to do.

What did we do while we were there? Well, the Big Dubya and I took advantage of the rare opportunity to go out..... Granny babysat for us twice!!!

The first time, we went and gambled a little here -- and then had a couple of pints here.

The second time, we went for dinner here and then saw his show. The show? it was really very good -- I wasn't sure what to expect -- but it was very funny without being dirty (a lot of comics are a bit too raunchy for my taste). I kinda wish the woman behind me didn't have to repeat every punchline.....

It was great to get away for a few days -- the kids were fantastic (even in the car) -- oh, and what's more fun than giving your almost 20-month old a bath in a great big hotel jacuzzi tub?

As for the diet..... well, that kind of went on hiatus, but we are back with a vengeance today! I did manage to get into another pair of pre-baby jeans, so..... I'm still doing okay and on track to be in my business clothes by the time I go back to work in mid-February.

No, it's not a marital aid

So, I mentioned to the Big Dubya in passing that I found this intriguing....... it looks like a really fun way to get a core work out.

As usual, he made fun of me and said that it looks more like a marital aid than a peice of excercise equipment..... yeah, the big lug is really very supportive..... thanks hun.

Finding the words

Lately we've been treated to the 'lil man's ever-expanding vocabulary.

While visiting over Christmas my Dad taught him to clutch anything and everything he could find closely to his chest and proclaim "MINE!" with an evil cackle.

If the 'lil princess cries, he yells out "UH-OH Bay-beeeee"

The lovely woman at the deli counter of Stop & Shop greets the 'lil man with delight every week and offers him a slice of cheese.... this week, he looked at her with his big Bambi eyes and asked for a "CACKAH" -- yep, that's my kid.... he wants a cracker with his cheese. Next week he'll be asking her for a glass of wine too.

At dinner last night, he demanded we give him a "FORK" -- to eat his nachos -- apparently he's too refined for finger food.

And of course, my favorite is when he gets thristy and yells out "DAAHHHEEEE, MILLLKCHKKK KLEEEEZZZ" For those of you who don't speak 'lil Dubya, that's "Daddy, Milk Please"

At least he says please

Ethics Question

Dear Internet Friends.....

I have a hypothetical for you..... if you found yourself in the following situation, what would you do?

You purchase a household machine (not that it matters, but it retails for $200ish) -- use it for a little less than a year only to have it fail to re-charge.... rendering it useless.

You contact the manufacturer and after going through all of their troubleshooting you come to the joint conclusion that the machine is defective.

The manufacturer agrees to provide a replacement machine if you simply ship back the defective one -- which you obviously agree to do.

Then, UPS arrives and delivers the replacement..... actually, UPS delivers two replacements.... so now you've got two machines.

What do you do? keep the extra machine? or be honest and return it?

Just wonderin'.........


On the diet front -- yesterday's weigh-in showed a loss of 2 more pounds (for those keeping score, we are down 6 with 6 to go) -- this is a miracle considering the gluttony that was last weekend. I'm thrilled to report that I'm wearing jeans today -- and although they don't look super-fantastic...... I've seen far worse. I am officially the weight I was when I got pregnant with Princess Dubyette -- it took 9 weeks (yes, can you believe it -- 9 weeks yesterday!!), but here I am. I was definitely skinnier at this weight the last time -- gravity is a bitch!

For anybody interested, I'm doing Weight Watchers (on my own on the internet with Aunt P... I don't go to meetings, because as I've noted before.... I hate people) -- and yes, they even have a program for nursing mothers.

Weight Watchers is great for me because you get to eat real food and you can even cheat if you accept the fact that you have to pay for it by sacrificing other stuff. My problem is that I like lots of food -- volume is my problem/weakness. I've learned that you actually can eat a lot of food on WW, it just has to be the "right" kind of food -- typically food that's high in fiber. Which brings me to this week's recommendation. This bread is really pretty good -- a lot of fiber-rich foods taste like wood -- but this is decent and because of all the fiber, it's pretty filling.


Last but not least by any stretch..... GO PATRIOTS!

Potpourri Post

Hello readers --

I apologize, I've fallen a bit behind in my posting -- we took the show on the road this past weekend... back to our old stomping grounds for Princess Dubyette's christening. It went off without a hitch -- sorta.

The service was lovely and the luncheon afterward was very nice.... well, it seemed to be very nice. The food was good, the drinks were plentiful -- all the children were well behaved (props to Baby Buffalo who was the senior stateswoman of the group -- she was very patient with the younger kids who were fighting for her attention -- but really, can you blame them?)

Later in the evening, Granny agreed to babysit so that Mr & Mrs Big Dubya could meet up with some friends for an evening cocktail. I haven't been out in so long, I was almost giddy!

About 40 minutes (and one coffee with Baileys) into the outing, Granny called (damn cellphones), the 'lil man had thrown up all over Granddad and was inconsolable crying for his Maaammmeeeee. Then I heard the words "Mrs Big Dubya, he needs you". I ran back to the table and was there long enough to see the Guinness I had just ordered delivered -- I grabbed my keys, said a quick goodbye and off I went. If my mother called me and admitted she needed help -- it must be dire.

I arrived home to see my diaper-clad and whimpering son being rocked by my Dad. If it wasn't so pathetic it would have been sweet. I helped Granny finish cleaning up and then retired to bed with my two babies. It was only the next day that I learned Granny was up all night sick.... as was Uncle Ro-Ro's girlfriend..... I'm just praying it wasn't something they ate.

In other news.... the Patriots ROCK! Bring on the Colts..... if the Big Dubya wants to get on my good side, he could get me one of these for Valentine's Day -- just a hint :)

I was very good on my diet last week -- and by Friday I'd lost an additional 2lbs -- bringing my total to 4, leaving 8 to go. But, then I was bad.... I mean B-A-D all weekend -- fried food, Italian food, bar food, wine, liquor....... so, although I'm back on the wagon.... I'm not sure this Friday's report will be all that stellar.

I have however, found these little gems -- only 2 Weight Watcher points. Don't get me wrong.... when they say "Little Bites" they do mean "LITTLE" -- however, if you need a little something sweet & chocolate with your tea -- these 'lil guys do the trick nicely. The Brownies are okay too -- not quite as good as the chocolate chip squares, but.... pretty good.

And, the biggest news of all...... today, I was able to zipper AND button my jeans -- WOOOO HOOO, it really is the little things in life!

Overnight Trip???

Fortunately, all the Dubyas are on the mend (thank God!) and we can take a break from posting about vomit.

'Lil Dubya's 19 mos and we've never left him overnight. Sure, I went out of town for a couple of nights once (well, twice if you count my hospital stay after having the little lady) and the Big Dubya's been away a bunch, but one or both of us has always been with him.

There are a bunch of reasons for this -- part of it is that I don't want to be one of those people that dumps my kids on people -- the fact that our parents and families our out of state is another factor. But when it comes down to it, the main reason is me. I miss him too much when he's not with me. I've come close to leaving him a couple of times -- I almost left him with the Buffalos (the most responsible parents we know) the night of Aunt P's wedding -- but I chickened out at the last minute.

Well, our fifth wedding anniversary is next month and we would love to do something..... something more than splurging for extra cheese on the pizza. We've gotten a couple of very generous babysitting offers.... I'm just not sure I can do it... especially with the princess.

Am I crazy? Have you ever left your kids overnight? How old were they?

Word Problems for Parents

Given:
Breastfed newborn needs to be fed
Nineteen month old is having night terrors -- has puked all over himself, his bed, his room
Both children are screaming at a blood-curdling volume and pitch

Solve:
What do you do first?

Yes, this was Saturday night at the Dubyas. In case you are wondering what the Dubyas did.....
Mr Big Dubya took charge of cleaning the room, the crib, the bedding, the carpet, the rug..... and even poor ole Pooh Bear. Mrs Big Dubya took puking child stripped him down and tossed him in the tub -- she then sat on the bathroom floor nursing the infant.

We live wild times here at chez Dubya!

Friday Randomness

Yes, I realize I'm posting this on Sunday morning, but..... the post was born on Friday and has been simmering since, so.... here it is.

After caring for two sick babies for many, many days.... Mrs Big Dubya's iron-willed immune system finally succumbed. After discovering Thursday night that her throat was landscaped with pockets of puss and fiery red blisters, Mrs Big Dubya paid a visit to the doctor on Friday morning and was prescribed some horse pills to treat her sinusitis, nasty "strep-like" throat infection and a rapidly deteriorating ear situation. Feeling a bit better now... thank God!

Despite not eating very much, due to an inability to swallow without crying (oh, the traffic Google searches will bring on that one), I've only lost two pounds, kind of a bummer -- but two is better than nothing. 10 pounds to go!

Speaking of setting goals..... I got a text message from Kara on Saturday, and the ladies of Team Mimi successfully finished their road-race in Orlando -- I'm so proud of and inspired by them -- WAY TO GO!

Last week was a great one for women -- yes, I'm a republican and no fan of San-Fran-Nan (Nancy Pelosi), but 1st woman speaker..... that is very cool. I was however, HORRIFIED when she invited all the children to the podium. Her six-week old grandson was there being cradled by what appeared to be a six-year old! I was like a wild woman... shouting at the TV "....is anybody else seeing this? Is there no adult, or even older child, who could hold this newborn? Please God don't let her drop him."



The little girl did a fine job -- the baby's head did flop around a few times, but she managed okay the rest of the time.... but if that had been Britney Spears' baby.... this would be all over the tabloids!

New Year's Resolution

We all do it.... make resolutions we know we won't keep, even though we'd like to..... I'm no different. Most years, my resolutions revolve around swearing less, managing my (our) money better and getting back in shape. In an effort to achieve the latter, I've fallen prey to many a infomercial.....

The Firm is really hard.... and what's worse, it requires a significant level of coordination -- I am many things.... coordinated is not one of them. Seriously, it's not that the movements are that hard -- it's the rapid succession and the fact that the perky little bitch on the DVD doesn't show you how to do them -- she just launches into them at full speed. There's a better chance of me falling down with this routine than getting in shape.

Windsor Pilates is not as hard, it's significantly more low key and ladylike -- but...... I didn't feel like I was doing anything. You can get through the basic DVD without even breaking a sweat.... I'm sure it works, but..... you need to sweat at least a little bit, don't you?

Core Secrets looked good on TV, it really did -- and it looked like something I could commit to.... but it came with this "fitness ball" that needed to be inflated with this pedal...... let's just say, if I could inflate this thing, I wouldn't need to get in shape.

Rather than buy into one of these TV gimmicks again this year, I've decided to do what works best for me -- fierce competition. The most faithful I've ever been to a diet was when Aunt P and I did Weight Watchers together -- we actually tracked what we ate each day and emailed the list to each other -- or when the Big Dubya and I did Atkins together -- there was no way I was going to let him beat me.... (by the way, we looked awesome).

Relax, I'm not going to record everything I eat in this space -- but last year, I announced on this very site that I was going to start a diet..... figuring the public shame of cheating would be enough to keep me honest -- and it did -- I was doing great. But..... then I got pregnant again and the diet had to be put on hold.

Well, the baby's now 6 weeks old -- and I'm roughly 5lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight.... which was roughly 7lbs more than I'd like to be -- so , what I'm saying is that I'd like to lose 12lbs.

Rest assured, I'm not converting this to a dieting site -- but, once a week (on Fridays), I will brag about my progress (or confess my setbacks) until I hit this goal. If there's anybody else that would like to join the weight-loss crusade..... please feel free.