April 17, 2008

As we approach the birth of #3

I kind of thought pregnancy #3 would provide lots of blogging fodder…..

I first launched this site shortly after the birth of the ‘lil Dubya. I was the new mother of a preemie with vicious case of colic. The blog was as much a coping mechanism as anything else. It was a vehicle to get some of my frustrations, insecurities (and discoveries) off my chest.

Then…. before I knew it we were expecting #2. I think I posted some about my pregnancy…. but I spent a lot of the time worrying that I’d have a repeat of the complications I had with #1 and stressing about all the “usual” things that I’d missed out on the first time.

See, #1 was born a little over 5 weeks early – so, my water never broke, I never went into labor, my belly button never popped (really wanted to know if it hurts???)…. I never had hemorrhoids or varicose vein troubles….. I just got very sick one evening and had an emergency c-section. I missed out on a lot – I didn’t have that “moment” where you are presented with your new bundle of joy – instead I was as high as a kite – hopped up on morphine and God-knows what else – I had an incubator wheeled up next to my bed so I could reach out and touch my son before they took him to a hospital that had a NICU – it was almost a week before I got to hold him, and the first time I did he turned purple and had to be resuscitated.

At the time I felt very sorry for myself – I used to cry every time I thought about those first days and weeks. And now? Now, I don’t at all. I’m so grateful for the experience because although it wasn’t “perfect” or what you dream of when you think about the birth of your first child – it deepened my faith, it made me a more compassionate and understanding parent – it made me grateful for how fortunate I really am.... my baby came home with me after a few weeks and is perfect today..... many other mothers don't get the "happy ending"

When the ‘lil Dubyette (#2) was born and everything went relatively smoothly – I wanted to relish all of it. The nurses wanted to take her to the nursery so that I could get some sleep – but I kept her with me – just because I could (I probably should have let them take her for a little while, but….). I still didn’t get to experience labor, broken water, belly button popping (seriously, does it hurt??)….. but I got to take my baby home with me and that was “perfect” enough.

Now, I’m getting ready to deliver my third and (probably) final baby. I’m still plagued a little by memories of #1, but hoping that the experience is more like #2.

But with only a few weeks to go, I realize I haven’t been writing about all the funny things, well….the things I find funny……… so that’s what I’m going to start doing.

Stay tuned


Aunt P said...

Yeah! I love the funnies!

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