How do these guys stay in business?

I was just cleaning out my purse..... it's a sea of receipts, loose change and expired coupons that I forgot to use.... and I came across a receipt from the worst restaurant to ever grace the planet.... Sbarro.

I have no idea how Sbarro stays in business -- I don't know a single person who actually enjoys eating there. Have any of you guys ever gotten something edible from this place?

If I hate it so much, why do I have a receipt?

Ah, smart reader..... that's a good question.

You see, when driving yourself and two babies from the nortwest hills of CT to Atlantic City, New Jersey -- you may find yourself in a situation where you & the kids need a snack and a diaper change (the kids need the diaper, not you). So, you pull over to one of the filthy fine rest stops on the Garden State Parkway and you survey your options.

Okay, I know.... my kids are the only ones in America who refuse to eat chicken nuggets.

So, I figured -- maybe a side of pasta and a slice of pizza -- that's a decent lunch for the three of us to share.

First of all -- $7.59 for a small side of pasta -- are you f'ing insane???? then $3.29 for a slice of "it's been sittin' around for a while" cheese pizza. And then, they tell me that in order to get milk.... I have to go over to Burger King. So, picture me -- 5½ months pregnant with a 1-year old and a 2-year old having to balance a tray of food and make my way to BK to buy milk while trying to keep the 'lil dubya and the 'lil dubyette from running away. In fairness, the 'lil dubya was a champ and helped keep his sister in line..... but still, you'd think that they'd make it a little bit easier. Did I mention the "family" rest room with no diaper changing station????

So, for $14.63 (after a soda and tax) not to mention the $2+ I paid BK for a thimble of milk the kids and I had a lunch that we normally wouldn't feed the neighbor's dog..... we ended up throwing most of it away -- and I HATE wasting food.

Seriously, how do they stay in business calling that food?

The Next Mia Hamm? or maybe David Beckham?

You must admit, the family resemblance is quite remarkable.....

The dirty kids? Yeah, they're mine

So, after I flaked on a doctor appointment Friday morning -- the nice lady at the pediatrician's office (not to be confused with the cranky witch who also works there) squeezed us in for Tuesday afternoon.

I purposely make my doctor appointments in the morning so that the kids will be well behaved (this is relative) and freshly bathed. But, when you totally blow off an appointment and have to be squeezed in.... beggars can't be choosers, so 4:00pm it is.

I left work early, picked the kids up and of course -- the two of them look utterly homeless. The 'lil man is in his "back-up" clothes..... these tend to be clothes that they receive as gifts -- clothes I don't really like -- so, I send them to school with them so that if they need to be changed during the day.... they've got a spare outfit. My rationale is that the outfit doesn't go to waste, but I don't have to see it too often -- it's a win-win.

The 'lil lady has finger paint all over her -- from the pictures she had a great time, but not too much paint landed on the smock.... most managed to skip the smock and go right to her sleeves. She's also got some sort of dried-up mystery goo in her hair..... awesome!

I didn't have time to go home and clean them up -- and the babywipes I keep in the car can only do so much, so -- off to the appointment we go. When we get there I get a better understanding of what she meant by "squeeze us in" -- it's standing room only. There must have been a dozen boys (yeah, all boys) sneezing and hacking all over the place. Most of them looked as homeless as my kids..... I'm guessing they were picked up from school/daycare as well.... made me feel a little bit better, but not much.

As any overcrowded room can be, the waiting room was very, very warm -- so I took off the kids coats -- and then 4:00 turned into 4:10, 4:20, 4:30...... and suddenly I started to smell it.... oh yeah, somebody was having a diaper episode..... if only it could have been somebody else's kid. Instead, it was the 'lil man -- so, not only did he look dirty -- he stunk too. I tried to pretend I didn't notice, but he takes after the Big Dubya..... he stinks.

Thankfully they called us in around 4:40 and we were able to get our business done and out of there in a hurry.

I kind of feel bad for all the times I've looked at scruffy kids and jumped to conclusions....

Back in time

Does hearing a certain song on the radio bring you back to a particular time in your life?

Does driving a certain road remind you of a trip you once took?

This morning I had to go to the hospital for an ultrasound -- it was the routine 20 week photo session, everything is just fine. And no, I didn't find out what we are having.

I called last week to "pre-register" -- and the woman on the phone began giving me directions to where I needed to go -- as she began telling me to go up the long driveway to the main building.... I got a chill. As she continued -- "pass the information desk, pass the gift shop, down a long hallway -- get on the elevator in front of the cafeteria and go down to the ground floor"

I told her to stop -- I knew where I had to go.

The ultrasound department is right in front of the NICU..... where the 'lil man spent his first month. I haven't been back there since we brought him home 2½ years ago -- but as I drove up the long driveway this morning -- it was like it was yesterday. I remember the first time I walked down that long hallway -- I was still so weak, the Big Dubya was practically carrying me -- I'm not sure my feet were even fully on the ground. He hadn't even tried to talk me out of going -- he knew I wouldn't have listened.

I got on the elevator and there was a man that got on with me -- he had a huge vat of coffee.... he'd been up all night -- I could see it on his face.

I got off and was grateful to be taking a left to go to my ultrasound appointment -- the man went the other way -- he was heading to the NICU. I cried a little and then I prayed for him.

Can I Please Adopt Them

Seriously.... I know I cannot offer the lifestyle that their natural parents can, but I can offer them love and stability and a life lived in private suburbia rather than on the cover of the tabloids.

I'm referring to the children of train-wreck Brittney Spears.

Obviously this girl has some issues and she is clearly ill equipped to care for and raise her children -- but seriously, what kind of future do these poor little babies have if this soap opera is allowed to continue?

Just proves -- money isn't everything

Trying to do too much?

Last weekend, I packed up the two kids and headed off to BJs -- when I got home, I opened the back hatch of my SUV and two gallons of milk fell out bursting and creating a white river in the driveway..... I almost cried.

A few days later, I was trying to eat my lunch at my desk between meetings -- I knocked something into my can of iced-tea and splashed some onto my laptop -- shortly thereafter my laptop ceased working. Most people would immediately call the help desk -- me? no, I got on my Blackberry and emailed Aunt P ..... asked her what to do -- she's wickit smaaaahhhht (that's Boston-speak for really smart) when it comes to computers. She asked if it was sweetened with sugar (what the f*&^%$#?) and what I would do if I were at home -- I told her that I'd probably spray the shit out of it with some compressed air to see if I could dry it -- she said that sounded like sound rationale and that I should try it (I'm starting to rethink the whole smart thing) -- I stopped spraying once the laptop began making a sizzle sound..... and decided to call the help desk. Oh, did I mention that it's the middle of year-end?

I completely forgot to show up for 'lil Dubyette's flu shot booster on Friday -- just didn't show up..... Uhm hullo, I don't do things like that. I called this morning to reschedule and booked a time that sounded good..... then I remembered -- that's when I'm supposed to go for my ultrasound.....

I'm starting to think that I've got too many balls in the air......

Happiness Is.....

Being 19+ weeks pregnant with your third baby in three years (I'm not complaining.... this is a very much wanted miracle), feeling huge and awkward and seeing a first timer who is due just days before you with a belly that's twice the size of yours. Yes, I know.... shallow, immature -- I don't care -- I'm big, but she's freakin HUGE!

I've been reading that today is delurker day -- so, please do :)

Internet "Friends"

On Saturday, Mr Big Dubya and I were driving along with the kiddies and we went passed the Panera Bread that just opened in our town

Me: Sue, I mean Insurance Mom, said that the cinnamon crunch bagels from Panera are awesome -- I wonder if they are like the French Toast Bagels we get on the Vineyard

Mr Big Dubya: I knew who you meant....... we should try 'em

Is it odd that Mr Big Dubya knew exactly who I was talking about, despite the fact that we don't know her and that our only exposure to her has been via the blogsphere?

Just wondering?