June 26, 2007

Diet, Diet, Diet



Yeah, so.... like Aunt P, I've been a bad, bad girl and am desperately trying to get back onto the diet bandwagon in anticipation of a family gathering in Ireland.... 2½ short weeks from now.... and a trip to CA in August.

Yesterday, I was chatting with a woman I work with.... she's overweight -- more so than I.... not really fat mind you -- but she could drop 20lbs and look fantastic. I've really only got 10-12 lbs to lose..... and it's kicking my ass.

Anyway, she mentioned reading about this new diet pill that's out..... and how she was considering it because it was FDA approved, but changed her mind because the side effects are a bit scary. So, over lunch -- I checked out the website..... not really sure why, but I did.

Okay, so..... let me get this straight -- you want me to give you $49.99 for some diet pills that might make me shit myself? Sorry to be crude, but..... oh my GAWD!

I only wish I was kidding.... one of the "treatment effects" is listed here as
"more frequent stools that may be hard to control"

Oh, are you wondering what they recommend to combat this "treatment effect"???? C'mon... you are dying to know what they recommend, you know you are, right?

How about:

"You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work"

and

"You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens "

So, for $49.99 there's a good chance I might soil myself and I ought to consider carrying around a a spare change of clothes just in case my dark pants aren't enough to hide the mess.

Uhm, yeah -- maybe being fat isn't so bad.

15 comments:

Sue said...

That sounds similar to that stuff from a few years ago - Olestra? I think it was supposed to have similar side effects. Just - ewwww!

In the Trenches of Mommyhood said...

I've been seeing this new marketing ploy all over the place! Thanks for the heads (butts?) up! I think I'll pass (not gas!) too.

Aunt P said...

unfortunately there just doesn't seem to be magic pill. God I wish there was though...

Sue said...

Surfed back from Aunt P's to wish you a Happy Birthday!!

Mamma said...

Oh my! There HAS to be a better way.

And Happy Birthday by the way. Big D wanted me to tell you how great you look for 29.

Arwen said...

We have almost the same b-day (and almost the same weight loss goal)...
eerie...

Darren said...

I heard it was your birthday. Happy 29th.

margalit said...

No way I'm going to take that stuff. I've got enough problems in that area as it is! Leakage is not my idea of a fat cure.

Happy Birthday! You look so young for 29!

Chag said...

Happy Birthday!

Mitch McDad said...

Very Happy Birthday!!!

Kemp said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mrs. BD!

And many, many more...

Above Average Joe said...

What you women will do.

Happy Birthday.

cape buffalo said...

"guaranteed sharts" should be right on the front of the package.

Love you to pieces. Happy Birthday!!

xxooxxooxxooxxxo

CroutonBoy said...

If I was dropping friends off at the lake all day I'd lose weight, too.

That crap doesn't work, from what certain members of my family tell me. Best to just cut everything but beer out of your diet ('cause what more do you need?)

TastesLikeCrazy said...

Hmm...I've walked by this SO many times at Target...
I think I'll just live vicariously though you.
Hope you don't mind.

http://TastesLikeCrazy.blogspot.com

 
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