February 8, 2007

Dear Anonymous

When I started this blog 18ish months ago, it was really just a creative outlet for me while I was on maternity leave. Hubby? Well, he's a serious blogger -- both on his own site and as a contributor to Dadcentric. Me? Well, I'm really just tinkering -- and with the exception of my sister (Aunt P) and a couple of close friends (the Cape Buffalos, Miss America) -- my friends and family don't even know it exists.

As time has gone on, I've picked up a handful of readers (Insurance Mom, Mamacita Tina).... probably through Hubby or Kara... and I stop by and read their sites too -- they seem like good people -- moms figuring it out as they go -- just like me. I don't have a lot of readers, but they seem to be a nice group of people -- and since I joined the Supercoolest Book Club Eva, I've picked up several more.

In the past week I've gotten a few anonymous comments that I'd like to respond to

First, in response to the "Cocktail Playdate" post, I received the following comment

"I may have missed it, but I don’t recall hearing anyone address the idea that these mothers are demonstrating to their children that alcohol has a place in everything.

Child safety and mother’s dependence aside, these mothers are promoting alcohol use by example. Can’t they wait until the kids are in bed to “unwind?”

Thanks for the comment -- you make a couple of good points. First, let me say that I don't believe the segment or I meant to imply that alcohol has a place in everything. I certainly don't believe that -- I think these women were just taking advantage of an opportunity to socialize with other adults while their children played (they were at somebody's home, not a public place). Since having my children, my priorities have changed -- and sadly, my friendships have suffered -- I miss "the girls". Perhaps these moms were trying to remedy this loneliness with some multi-tasking.

As for waiting for children to go to bed to "unwind" with a cocktail -- I'm sure many people do. I know that we often wait 'til our kids are in bed before my husband and I enjoy an after-dinner coffee. It's not because we don't want our kids to know we indulge in caffeine -- it's because we'd like to enjoy a cup beginning to end without having to microwave it three times. I don't think it's as much about NEEDing a drink, as it is about wanting to enjoy a beverage and adult conversation with friends -- something that could not be accomplished at home alone after the kids are in bed (drinking alone? this could be the start of an issue).

Every family does things differently -- in our house, we want our kids to know that some things are just for adults -- this ranges from make-up and high heels to using the stove. I feel that the occasional glass of wine falls into this category.

The next anonymous comment was in response to "I Can't Drive 55"

"For speeding pregnant with a baby in the car you deserve to cop a fine. How dumb can you be? If you crashed that would be three lives lost... selfish."

I appreciate the comment -- the delivery is a bit rude but the sentiment is more than fair.

This incident happened back in October -- I didn't blog about it then because I was so terribly embarrassed for being reckless.

I'll tell you what I told the judge -- the truth (probably because I'm such a lousy liar) -- I was 8 months pregnant, driving from our home in CT to my parents house in MA with my 16 month old son in the backseat.

The 'lil man was screaming and had a foul diaper -- I needed to use the rest room myself. I knew there was a rest stop coming up and my desire to comfort and care for my child took over -- I made the crappy decision to speed up. I was wrong, I made a bad decision and I couldn't feel worse than I already do -- a dirty diaper was certainly the lesser of two evils when I consider what could have happened.

Fortunately for me, the judge was willing to give me a second chance -- he believed me when I told him that I had learned my lesson.

Thanks again for reading and for the comments -- maybe you'll start identifying yourself so I can return the favor.

Best Regards,
Mrs Big Dubya


Kara said...

Oh girly girl. Please tell me you have statcounter enabled so you can find anonymous's IP address.

I have my suspicions...

P.S. Haloscan, the commenting program I use, costs $1 per month and lists the IP address of all commenters, and allows you to block them if you desire. I don't mind dissenting points of view, but anonymous commenters are cowards.

Elle*Bee said...

I enjoy your blog, and have been reading it faithfully since you first visited my blog a couple of weeks ago. My two cents: your blog is *yours*. Period. Your thoughts, words, opinions. And I think it's fine for people to disagree with you via comments. It can create an open dialog and perhaps help one another gain a different perspective.

However, doing so anonymously is more like a 'hit and run.' (Again, this is just my opinion, but I would change your blog setting so as not to allow anonymous posts.) If someone has something that important to say, let him/her identify himself.

What 'anonymous' doesn't seem to get is that this isn't a chat board. It's YOUR blog. WE are simply guests here.

Blogging Secret