May 29, 2008

Mother Nature? Mother Fuc%ing Bitch is more like it

Yeah, so some random thoughts on the end of pregnancy......

I've decided that I'm not leaving the house again until it's time to go to the hospital..... I just don't like being laughed at..... and then pitied.

Yes, I know I look ridiculous...... all my weight has shifted forward and is concentrated on the front of my body -- I'm a big belly with legs. But, do people really have to look at me like I'm an over-ripe piece of fruit.... ready to fall off the tree at any moment? I'm serious, people see me and they laugh out loud - they don't even try to hide it..... sometimes I get the sympathetic head tilt afterward -- but that doesn't erase the emotional scars all that laughter is leaving on me... anybody know a good therapist?

We are starting to make some name progress -- the Big Dubya was emailing me some candidates this morning and I was blackberrying him back from BJs...... yes, this is how we are naming our child..... Dubya's at work and I'm in the frozen food section of BJs.

Still no baby, but we did have a false alarm yesterday -- but after a few hours, I was sent home to wait a little longer -- they did promise that it won't be long now though....

And, lastly....... to be filed under the "reaction every wife dreams of":

Mrs Big Dubya: Honey ,I think I might be leaking amniotic fluid
Mr Big Dubya: That doesn't sound good -- what's it mean?
Mrs Big Dubya: According to the internet, it means labor is imminent
Mr Big Dubya: What does imminent mean?
Mrs Big Dubya: Oh, it could be hours..... or days
Mr Big Dubya: So, I've got time to go golf 9 holes, right?
Mrs Big Dubya: Yeah, go ahead

And, so we wait........


Sue said...

I was so sure you'd had the baby when all was quiet for a few days!

Brandi said...

Still no baby?! Every time I see a new post pop up on google reader, I hope you're finally done.

I've been getting a lot of "Wow! You're huge!" from friends and strangers lately and I'm only SIX months pregnant!

Above Average Joe said...

Try the bumpy road or the Mexican food or should I dare say...

Good luck.

Mamacita Tina said...

Yikes, still no baby. Ugh! Tell you child you will have to start charging rent.

Rachael said...

Oh my gosh. That baby needs to come OUT!

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