Dear Mr & Mrs Big Dubya

Dear Mr & Mrs Big Dubya,

Just a quick note to thank you and your family for single handedly helping us make our quarterly earnings. If it weren't for you and your vomiting children, we most certainly wouldn't have sold enough Tide and Dreft to meet our lofty year-end sales goal. Although we were sorry to hear about their "nasty-assed virus" (technical term used by the pediatrician on Friday morning), we were thrilled to hear that you'd be working on the weekend's 11th load of laundry by noon on Saturday.

We have passed your names along to our good friends over at Maytag.... they will surely want to know about the work you are doing with their washer/dryer.

Sincerely,
Proctor & Gamble
(manufacturers of Tide & Dreft Laundry Detergent)

Cleaning out the closet

Okay, so.... the 'lil dubyette will be moving into what has historically been known as our guest room and as a result, we need to clean the room out. More specifically, I need to clean out the closet in that room....... the closet that, for the past three years, has primarily been used to house the "overflow" of my wardrobe.

What's in the "overflow" closet you might ask..... well, back in the mid-90's the concept of "business casual" had not yet emerged.... we all wore suits to work. Thinking that I was more high upwardly mobile than I was.... I bought pretty good suits (Ann Taylor, Jones New York, Evan Piccone, etc) so, when the "business casual" concept caught on -- I was hesitant to part with these clothes.... just in case I'd find myself needing them again.

This argument makes a little bit of sense, unless you factor in the fact that all of these suits and dresses are size 4.... I am not.

Like most women, I tell myself that I'll lose a few pounds and get back into them -- and, who knows.... I might. So, as I survey the items in this closet, I've began asking a new question. "Mrs Big Dubya, if you manage to lose 10lbs...... AND found yourself in position to fit into these AND in a job where you need to wear a suit..... would you ever wear this thing again?"

Surprise, surprise...... for the most part the answer is a big fat NO! I can't believe I ever wore some of this stuff..... granted, some of it is nice -- but...... some of it...... UGH, what were we thinking?

So..... I'll be making a trip to the GoodWill this weekend -- can you say tax deduction?

Rest in Peace

Joe Barbera (of Hanna-Barbera fame) passed away on Monday.... he was 95.

Obviously, I never knew Mr Barbera (or Mr Hanna who passed away in 2001), but I don't think I'm alone in saying that they were part of my growing up. I was never a big cartoon-watcher, but The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Tom & Jerry, Scooby Doo and so many other cartoon characters were favorites -- Hey, George Jetson gave me my engagement ring (but that's a story for another post).

Rest in peace Mr Barbera.

Holiday Madness

So, we all heard about the craze for Elmo TMX....

I remember walking through KBToys with the Big Dubya and 'lil Dubya and seeing a sign... "coming soon, reserve yours today" and laughing ..... as if I would ever get swept up in that nonsense. We joked that the only way we'd end up with "one of those things" in our home would be if the grandparents got one for the 'lil man.

Sometime in September, Granny & I took the 'lil guy to NY to visit my cousins and their twins (yes, two sisters both with a set of twins). While chatting with one cousin the topic of Elmo came up -- apparently she'd been feverishly trying to secure a couple.... one for her kids, one for her sisters'. In an instant, my competitive nature began to shine through...... sheepishly, I didn't admit that I'd poo-pooed the idea.... instead, I now felt this desperate urge... I needed to get one for my kid too!

Of course by this time they were selling for several hundred dollars on ebay and I was not going to get sucked into that trap -- so, I began scouring the internet.... etoys.com, ToysRUs.com..... every site I could think of -- and of course, there wasn't an Elmo to be had anywhere. Once separated from my cousin, the appeal of Elmo wavered and I was sane once again (relatively speaking of course). I mean really, come February you'll be able to get as many Elmos as you want -- the 'lil Dubya's only 18 mos and doesn't watch much TV.... he doesn't even know who Elmo is.

Last Wednesday morning, the Big Dubya was getting ready for work and we had the news on.... (yes Kara, Fox News). The anchor reported that WalMart.com would be releasing 4,000 Elmos at noon each day for a week. I couldn't believe it..... 4,000 Elmos a day!

The fever returned -- and Wow, here's my chance! I was getting one of these bad boys one way or another. The Big Dubya has been very patient with my post-partum hormonal roller coaster..... so, he reluctantly agreed to help.... and of course, no retail/internet plot would be complete without Aunt P.... she's always a willing accomplice.

So, as you would suspect at noon, we all began clicking like crazy..... Aunt P and I were unsuccessful, but the Big Dubya happily reported that he'd secured an Elmo and it was on it's way to our house.....

Whooo Hoooo Christmas has been saved!!

If only I'd let the mania end there.... but no, I needed to get one for the twins too....

On Thursday we all tried again..... and all three of us ended up Elmo-less. But, all hope wasn't lost -- we still had Friday.....

But then, out of the blue my phone rang on Thursday afternoon, it was Aunt P and she was screaming, "Do we need expedited shipping?"..... what? huh? "I got one! I got an Elmo! Do we need expedited shipping?"

Immediately I jumped online and I too was able to get an Elmo..... I had it shipped directly to my cousin in NY..... three Elmos! we were able to secure three Elmos!

One for the 'lil man, one for the twins, one for W's niece & nephew...... do I dare try to get more? no friends, I let the madness end there.... no need to be greedy, right?

I don't care for Elmo -- Aunt P hates Elmo, but man what a rush!

A partridge in a pear tree..... well not quite, but close enough

So folks, here we are..... 7 days to go..... is your shopping done?

Like everyone, there are a few people on my list that are Impossible to buy for.... I mean, what do you buy for the people who have everything. The Big Dubya's parents for example -- he's retired, she's near retired and they are beginning to "down-size".

Translation: Hey Mrs Big Dubya, those Hummels you've been buying are nice and all, but they are no longer appreciated, as we are in the process of pruning down the collection -- and before long, we'll be dumping them on giving them to you

Of course, they would never say that -- but, that's kind of where they are in their life.

Aunt P and Mr Tall Guy -- well, they are DINKS (double income no kids) -- what they want, they buy for themselves long before we have the opportunity to give it to them as a gift (assuming we could afford it anyway).

The list of tough people to buy for goes on and on..... so, I think this year.... everyone's getting a flock of geese. This is a great organization that helps out needy people in developing countries by providing them with live stock. And, you can choose just how generous you want to be -- they have a menu for lack of a better word. A heifer is $500, but a share of a heifer is only $50.... a sheep goes for $120, but a share of a sheep is an affordable $10.

If someone on your list truly has everything they need (and fortunately, that's probably most of us) -- give them the satisfaction of helping someone who really does need something.

Condiments.... not just for breakfast anymore.

So, the 'lil man has discovered condiments.....

I suppose it's my fault. We were eating dinner the other night and he watched intently as I dipped something in ranch dressing.... I think it was a french fry. Anyway, he handed me one of his fries -- I dipped it for him and he proceeded to lick the dressing off the fry, and so it began. He kept handing me back the same soggy fry (which proceeded to get soggier and soggier).... asking me to dip it so that he could suck the dressing off of it.

As it turns out, it's not just ranch dressing -- he likes to suck honey mustard, ketchup, syrup and cheese sauce off of his food. I'm not sure exactly how to explain the concept of a condiment to an 18-month old..... but for now.... it's ketchup for lunch.

C'mon...... Who's yours?

It's been well documented here that I just don't like people. I wish I did..... if there was one thing that I could change about myself, that might just be it. I'm not even sure if it's that I don't like people or if it's that I just don't like dealing with people.

I know that for the most part I'm alone..... generally speaking, I think most people like other people. However, I do think that in one area I may have some company.

Is there a celebrity (or group of celebrities) that you just simply can't stand...... and for no good reason? I mean, there are certain celebrities that I know absolutely nothing about, yet I can't stand the sight of them.... they drive me bananas.... and then there are others that I think are so totally cool -- again, with no information about them.

Please feel free to share celebrities that fall into either category for you......

My Weekend -- by Mrs Big Dubya

On Saturday morning I called Disney to open up a can of whoop-ass. I wanted some sort of explanation regarding my order -- fortunately for me (and for the poor humorless gal that took my call), I learned that my order is in process and will be arriving shortly -- the emails I got in response to my inquiries were "canned" and do not apply to my particular order. Crisis averted....a but, let's talk about some crappy service.

Later in the day, the Big Dubya and I attempted to take our Christmas card photo.... "attempted" is the key word. The 'lil Dubya was actually pretty good, but trying to get him to hold his sister without crushing her..... well, that was asking a bit much. I'm guessing that some of the shots that don't make the cut will end up on the Big Dubya's site..... I may try again tonight..... or maybe I'll just drink a bottle of wine.

It's absurd to let this stress me out -- I know, but..... here we are 14 days 'til Christmas and I still don't have a card-suitable photo -- UGHHHH -- maybe I'll start drinking now.

On Sunday we went to our 2:30 appointment at a photographer's studio. I foolishly had it in my head that we could get a photo of the two kids together to give our parents... is this too much to ask? one picture with them both looking the same way -- they don't have to smile, they just have to be awake and not crying..... is this too much? apparently so

Anyway, Dictionary.com includes the following in it's definition of the word "appointment"

1. a fixed mutual agreement for a meeting; engagement
2. a meeting set for a specific time or place

I know the holidays are a tough time to have pictures taken, but when you've got an 18 month old and a 3 week old -- schedules are important -- they are the difference between success and failure. So, when the studio lets us stand around waiting... in an area where the 'lil man can't run free... for a good 30 minutes... the window of opportunity for a decent photo quickly evaporates.

The 'lil man was tired of being still -- he'd spend close to an hour in a car seat, then some more time in a stroller and now was being told that he couldn't run around. He was antsy and hungry (I wouldn't let him eat in his good clothes!) 'Lil Dubyette on the other hand wouldn't wake up -- I thought this was going to be a problem, until she did wake up... and was hungry... and wanted to be fed rather than held by her brother.....

So, when we finally got into the studio -- the 'lil man was thrilled to be able to run around and the 'lil princess was starved so, she just cried... and cried... making us long for the time when she was simply asleep. As a result, we left with two less-than-stellar individual photos -- and not a single brother-sister shot.

With less than two-weeks 'til Christmas, it's unlikely that I'll get another appointment -- but I'm tempted.....

Christmas Specials:
ABC Family is showing Mary Poppins.... a lovely movie, but hardly a holiday special. I did watch Polar Express on Saturday night -- it was cute, moved a bit slow.... not sure I'd put it up there in my list of faves, but..... it was watchable.

Okay folks, trying not to panic

So, I posted yesterday about being annoyed with Disney because they had sent me a coupon AFTER I'd placed an order..... essentially robbing me of the opportunity to save money. I know it makes me sound incredibly cheap -- and that's not really the case -- I just hate overpaying for stuff.

Anyway, seeing that the merchandise hasn't shipped yet -- I sent Disney an email asking if I could still apply the coupon..... figured, what have I got to lose.... the worst that can happen is that they say "no."

I got a response this morning that truly boggles the mind..... it basically didn't answer the question at all, but instead informed me that the stuff I ordered back on November 22nd is on back-order and won't be available until the third week of January at the earliest. By the way.... this is the first I'm hearing of this!!!! This particular order consists of Christmas gifts for 5 children ranging in age from 3-5..... I'm guessing that they won't understand the concept of "back-order"..... they'll just think the Dubya's don't have their shit together.

So, Mr Disney..... here are my questions:

Why is the stuff I ordered back in November now suddenly on "back-order"?
Why was I not notified until I initiated correspondence regarding your price adjustment policy? It would have been nice to have the opportunity to select alternate gifts.
What are you offering as a replacement/substitute product?
Why are you still accepting orders for these items saying that if ordered by 12/4 then they'll be delivered prior to Christmas? Mine were ordered on November 11th and apparently aren't coming 'til January!
What am I supposed to tell these 5 small children on Christmas morning, huh????

I'll let you know what response Mr. Disney sends.....

Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family is showing the Polar Express at 8:00 and 10:30..... I haven't seen this, so I may watch just to see what it's all about. They are also showing Jack Frost at 7:00, but.... I've never gotten it.

Additionally, ABC Family is running a marathon of holiday specials on Saturday -- see here for details.

Not my year for shopping

Beware, holiday rant follows:

Okay, so..... the 'lil Dubyette was due December 2nd. As a result, I had intended to do the bulk of my holiday shopping early -- figuring that the 'lil lady might be late and/or might not appreciate being lugged from store to store in the cold during her first few weeks of life.

I thought this was the prudent course of action..... what I didn't count on was that all the stores would wait until mid-December to put their stuff on sale.

When did I learn the promo code for LLBean's free shipping? yep, three days after I placed an order and paid $8 to have the crap mailed to me -- the free shipping code is 2324840 in case you were wondering. Oh, and by the way... starting today they'll give you a $10 gift card for spending $50 -- yeah, sucks to be me.... cause in an attempt to be a good parent, I ordered early.

Let's move on to Disney -- I ordered several items from them back in November because they said if you wanted it personalized it would take several weeks...... yeah, well the coupons for an additional 27% off arrived in my inbox today (Code for that one is GOOFY27)-- once again, sucks to be me. I sent them an email seeing that the merchandise hasn't even shipped yet -- maybe I'll get lucky..... I'll keep you posted

I ordered a couple of Christmas ornaments from Lenox -- again, personalized for the 'lil lady's first Christmas...... that afternoon, I received a coupon for $10 off.... are you kidding me???? I emailed them pronto and asked if they'd accept the coupon seeing that I'd place the order only hours before -- fortunately, they did....

I realize that it's only a couple of bucks here and a couple of bucks there, but..... I hate over-paying for stuff. Before you order anything online, go to www.naughtycodes.com -- they list online coupon/promotion codes for every store you can think of

Tonight's Holiday LineUp
ABC Family
7:00 Santa Claus is Comin' to Town -- (one of my all time favorites!)

Joy, Noel....... or maybe Peace

So, last year I posted here about wanting some Christmas stocking holders from Pottery Barn.

Unfortunately, I had been too slow and by the time I got around to getting them..... Pottery Barn had sold out. At the time, we only had one child -- but the Big Dubya and I had agreed to try for one more...... so, although for 2005 we only needed three stocking holders ("JOY")


we had decided to purchase four ("NOEL") in the hope that by Christmas 2006 we'd have four stockings to hang by the chimney with care.


So, with a little help from eBay -- I got the stocking holders and they look just smashing on our mantle with our four LLBean Christmas stockings dangling from them. (We'll discuss later how the stockings had to be taken down three minutes after they were put up so that the 'lil Dubya wouldn't pull the very heavy letters down on his head).

Now, call it a post-partum episode.... call it sleep deprivation..... call it sheer madness.... call it whatever the hell you want but, I'd kind of like to swap out "NOEL" for "PEACE" in 2007.



I mentioned this to the Big Dubya yesterday and he responded by sticking is fingers in his ears and screaming "La, La, La, I can't hear you" at the top of his lungs. He also mentioned something about 4 being a nice even number and that's when I stopped listening to him......

I'm sure my latest bout of baby fever will pass..... but these amazing little people are addictive.

Christmas Specials on TV Tonight!

Tonight on ABC Family,
7:00 Rudolph's Stupid (I mean Shiny) New Year
8:00 The Year Without A Santa Claus (This is a great one.... a classic..... a can't miss)
8:30 Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer & The Island of Misfit Toys

Holiday TV Specials

Last year, I posted the holiday TV specials scheduled for each of the 25 days leading up to Christmas.

It seemed like a great idea at the time, until I realized that the same specials were played over and over again....... and found myself posting the same shows day after day after day. Additionally, it appears that the television networks have a different definition of "holiday special" than the Dubyas...... Home Alone? Harry Potter..... nice movies, but not (in my opinion) "holiday special" material.

This year, I'm not going to post every day's schedule -- I'll probably just mention the airing of shows that are particularly special to me -- but that's it.

ABC Family airs the majority of the holiday specials, and you can see their schedule here.