Things I Don't Understand
By Mrs Big Dubya

#1
I don't watch Grey's Anatomy, and am only superficially aware of all the controversy swirling around, but what the hell kinda therapy or rehab is this dude getting? I mean for drugs and/or booze you learn to stop using or drinking...... what's he gonna learn? how to not be hateful? how to not be stupid? how to keep your mouth shut (particularly when there are live cameras EVERYWHERE)?


#2
I'm not a huge fan of horse racing and I like animals as much as the next guy, but there are real news stories to be told -- do we need all this fuss over the passing of Barbaro? People are actually going to Churchill Downs to pay their respects......
"Churchill Downs and the Kentucky Derby Museum will position large condolence cards at their main customer entrances on Wednesday, Jan. 31, offering customers and race fans the opportunity to send personal messages to the connections of Kentucky Derby 132 winner Barbaro following his death on Jan. 29. "

#3
Sex tapes, nude photos and raunchy diaries...... let me begin by saying I don't have any..... but if I did, I think I'd make an effort to keep track of them.... and I certainly wouldn't keep them in a storage unit and then forget/refuse to pay the bill -- her parents must be so proud. But, while I'm at it.... who'd actually pay $40 to access this scank's stuff?

I really am an insensitive and awful bitch

Okay, so those of you who've been around for a while may recall that breastfeeding the 'lil man was a real struggle for me -- click here for the refresher course.

Thank God the 'lil lady has been far more cooperative -- but, as I approach the inevitable return to work.... I'm beginning to stress out about pumping, maintaining supply all the crap I went through the last time. As is recommended, I've been pumping almost every morning since Christmas in order to build up a back-up supply (our freezer looks like a creepy science lab) -- but, I'm not sure I'm doing all I can, so I've started checking out some of the message boards that exist.... ivillage, kelly mom, even those crazy la leche people in an effort to get some tips from other been-there-done-that mothers who continued nursing after returning to work.

I came across this "tutorial" on how to pump "hands-free" that made me snicker..... yes, after the emotional basket case I became the last time, I really should not laugh...... (I mean, I'm actually taking the product pictured above) but seriously.... check it out.

Random thoughts from the weekend

The Big Dubya and I took the kids and met up with Aunt P, Mr Tall Guy and Granny for a few days of R&R in Atlantic City.

Why AC you ask? Well, it's drivable (4 hours from us here in CT -- a little longer for those in MA) -- the resort is pretty nice (and cheap this time of year) -- and there's lots to do.

What did we do while we were there? Well, the Big Dubya and I took advantage of the rare opportunity to go out..... Granny babysat for us twice!!!

The first time, we went and gambled a little here -- and then had a couple of pints here.

The second time, we went for dinner here and then saw his show. The show? it was really very good -- I wasn't sure what to expect -- but it was very funny without being dirty (a lot of comics are a bit too raunchy for my taste). I kinda wish the woman behind me didn't have to repeat every punchline.....

It was great to get away for a few days -- the kids were fantastic (even in the car) -- oh, and what's more fun than giving your almost 20-month old a bath in a great big hotel jacuzzi tub?

As for the diet..... well, that kind of went on hiatus, but we are back with a vengeance today! I did manage to get into another pair of pre-baby jeans, so..... I'm still doing okay and on track to be in my business clothes by the time I go back to work in mid-February.

No, it's not a marital aid

So, I mentioned to the Big Dubya in passing that I found this intriguing....... it looks like a really fun way to get a core work out.

As usual, he made fun of me and said that it looks more like a marital aid than a peice of excercise equipment..... yeah, the big lug is really very supportive..... thanks hun.

Finding the words

Lately we've been treated to the 'lil man's ever-expanding vocabulary.

While visiting over Christmas my Dad taught him to clutch anything and everything he could find closely to his chest and proclaim "MINE!" with an evil cackle.

If the 'lil princess cries, he yells out "UH-OH Bay-beeeee"

The lovely woman at the deli counter of Stop & Shop greets the 'lil man with delight every week and offers him a slice of cheese.... this week, he looked at her with his big Bambi eyes and asked for a "CACKAH" -- yep, that's my kid.... he wants a cracker with his cheese. Next week he'll be asking her for a glass of wine too.

At dinner last night, he demanded we give him a "FORK" -- to eat his nachos -- apparently he's too refined for finger food.

And of course, my favorite is when he gets thristy and yells out "DAAHHHEEEE, MILLLKCHKKK KLEEEEZZZ" For those of you who don't speak 'lil Dubya, that's "Daddy, Milk Please"

At least he says please

Ethics Question

Dear Internet Friends.....

I have a hypothetical for you..... if you found yourself in the following situation, what would you do?

You purchase a household machine (not that it matters, but it retails for $200ish) -- use it for a little less than a year only to have it fail to re-charge.... rendering it useless.

You contact the manufacturer and after going through all of their troubleshooting you come to the joint conclusion that the machine is defective.

The manufacturer agrees to provide a replacement machine if you simply ship back the defective one -- which you obviously agree to do.

Then, UPS arrives and delivers the replacement..... actually, UPS delivers two replacements.... so now you've got two machines.

What do you do? keep the extra machine? or be honest and return it?

Just wonderin'.........


On the diet front -- yesterday's weigh-in showed a loss of 2 more pounds (for those keeping score, we are down 6 with 6 to go) -- this is a miracle considering the gluttony that was last weekend. I'm thrilled to report that I'm wearing jeans today -- and although they don't look super-fantastic...... I've seen far worse. I am officially the weight I was when I got pregnant with Princess Dubyette -- it took 9 weeks (yes, can you believe it -- 9 weeks yesterday!!), but here I am. I was definitely skinnier at this weight the last time -- gravity is a bitch!

For anybody interested, I'm doing Weight Watchers (on my own on the internet with Aunt P... I don't go to meetings, because as I've noted before.... I hate people) -- and yes, they even have a program for nursing mothers.

Weight Watchers is great for me because you get to eat real food and you can even cheat if you accept the fact that you have to pay for it by sacrificing other stuff. My problem is that I like lots of food -- volume is my problem/weakness. I've learned that you actually can eat a lot of food on WW, it just has to be the "right" kind of food -- typically food that's high in fiber. Which brings me to this week's recommendation. This bread is really pretty good -- a lot of fiber-rich foods taste like wood -- but this is decent and because of all the fiber, it's pretty filling.


Last but not least by any stretch..... GO PATRIOTS!

Potpourri Post

Hello readers --

I apologize, I've fallen a bit behind in my posting -- we took the show on the road this past weekend... back to our old stomping grounds for Princess Dubyette's christening. It went off without a hitch -- sorta.

The service was lovely and the luncheon afterward was very nice.... well, it seemed to be very nice. The food was good, the drinks were plentiful -- all the children were well behaved (props to Baby Buffalo who was the senior stateswoman of the group -- she was very patient with the younger kids who were fighting for her attention -- but really, can you blame them?)

Later in the evening, Granny agreed to babysit so that Mr & Mrs Big Dubya could meet up with some friends for an evening cocktail. I haven't been out in so long, I was almost giddy!

About 40 minutes (and one coffee with Baileys) into the outing, Granny called (damn cellphones), the 'lil man had thrown up all over Granddad and was inconsolable crying for his Maaammmeeeee. Then I heard the words "Mrs Big Dubya, he needs you". I ran back to the table and was there long enough to see the Guinness I had just ordered delivered -- I grabbed my keys, said a quick goodbye and off I went. If my mother called me and admitted she needed help -- it must be dire.

I arrived home to see my diaper-clad and whimpering son being rocked by my Dad. If it wasn't so pathetic it would have been sweet. I helped Granny finish cleaning up and then retired to bed with my two babies. It was only the next day that I learned Granny was up all night sick.... as was Uncle Ro-Ro's girlfriend..... I'm just praying it wasn't something they ate.

In other news.... the Patriots ROCK! Bring on the Colts..... if the Big Dubya wants to get on my good side, he could get me one of these for Valentine's Day -- just a hint :)

I was very good on my diet last week -- and by Friday I'd lost an additional 2lbs -- bringing my total to 4, leaving 8 to go. But, then I was bad.... I mean B-A-D all weekend -- fried food, Italian food, bar food, wine, liquor....... so, although I'm back on the wagon.... I'm not sure this Friday's report will be all that stellar.

I have however, found these little gems -- only 2 Weight Watcher points. Don't get me wrong.... when they say "Little Bites" they do mean "LITTLE" -- however, if you need a little something sweet & chocolate with your tea -- these 'lil guys do the trick nicely. The Brownies are okay too -- not quite as good as the chocolate chip squares, but.... pretty good.

And, the biggest news of all...... today, I was able to zipper AND button my jeans -- WOOOO HOOO, it really is the little things in life!

Overnight Trip???

Fortunately, all the Dubyas are on the mend (thank God!) and we can take a break from posting about vomit.

'Lil Dubya's 19 mos and we've never left him overnight. Sure, I went out of town for a couple of nights once (well, twice if you count my hospital stay after having the little lady) and the Big Dubya's been away a bunch, but one or both of us has always been with him.

There are a bunch of reasons for this -- part of it is that I don't want to be one of those people that dumps my kids on people -- the fact that our parents and families our out of state is another factor. But when it comes down to it, the main reason is me. I miss him too much when he's not with me. I've come close to leaving him a couple of times -- I almost left him with the Buffalos (the most responsible parents we know) the night of Aunt P's wedding -- but I chickened out at the last minute.

Well, our fifth wedding anniversary is next month and we would love to do something..... something more than splurging for extra cheese on the pizza. We've gotten a couple of very generous babysitting offers.... I'm just not sure I can do it... especially with the princess.

Am I crazy? Have you ever left your kids overnight? How old were they?

Word Problems for Parents

Given:
Breastfed newborn needs to be fed
Nineteen month old is having night terrors -- has puked all over himself, his bed, his room
Both children are screaming at a blood-curdling volume and pitch

Solve:
What do you do first?

Yes, this was Saturday night at the Dubyas. In case you are wondering what the Dubyas did.....
Mr Big Dubya took charge of cleaning the room, the crib, the bedding, the carpet, the rug..... and even poor ole Pooh Bear. Mrs Big Dubya took puking child stripped him down and tossed him in the tub -- she then sat on the bathroom floor nursing the infant.

We live wild times here at chez Dubya!

Friday Randomness

Yes, I realize I'm posting this on Sunday morning, but..... the post was born on Friday and has been simmering since, so.... here it is.

After caring for two sick babies for many, many days.... Mrs Big Dubya's iron-willed immune system finally succumbed. After discovering Thursday night that her throat was landscaped with pockets of puss and fiery red blisters, Mrs Big Dubya paid a visit to the doctor on Friday morning and was prescribed some horse pills to treat her sinusitis, nasty "strep-like" throat infection and a rapidly deteriorating ear situation. Feeling a bit better now... thank God!

Despite not eating very much, due to an inability to swallow without crying (oh, the traffic Google searches will bring on that one), I've only lost two pounds, kind of a bummer -- but two is better than nothing. 10 pounds to go!

Speaking of setting goals..... I got a text message from Kara on Saturday, and the ladies of Team Mimi successfully finished their road-race in Orlando -- I'm so proud of and inspired by them -- WAY TO GO!

Last week was a great one for women -- yes, I'm a republican and no fan of San-Fran-Nan (Nancy Pelosi), but 1st woman speaker..... that is very cool. I was however, HORRIFIED when she invited all the children to the podium. Her six-week old grandson was there being cradled by what appeared to be a six-year old! I was like a wild woman... shouting at the TV "....is anybody else seeing this? Is there no adult, or even older child, who could hold this newborn? Please God don't let her drop him."



The little girl did a fine job -- the baby's head did flop around a few times, but she managed okay the rest of the time.... but if that had been Britney Spears' baby.... this would be all over the tabloids!

New Year's Resolution

We all do it.... make resolutions we know we won't keep, even though we'd like to..... I'm no different. Most years, my resolutions revolve around swearing less, managing my (our) money better and getting back in shape. In an effort to achieve the latter, I've fallen prey to many a infomercial.....

The Firm is really hard.... and what's worse, it requires a significant level of coordination -- I am many things.... coordinated is not one of them. Seriously, it's not that the movements are that hard -- it's the rapid succession and the fact that the perky little bitch on the DVD doesn't show you how to do them -- she just launches into them at full speed. There's a better chance of me falling down with this routine than getting in shape.

Windsor Pilates is not as hard, it's significantly more low key and ladylike -- but...... I didn't feel like I was doing anything. You can get through the basic DVD without even breaking a sweat.... I'm sure it works, but..... you need to sweat at least a little bit, don't you?

Core Secrets looked good on TV, it really did -- and it looked like something I could commit to.... but it came with this "fitness ball" that needed to be inflated with this pedal...... let's just say, if I could inflate this thing, I wouldn't need to get in shape.

Rather than buy into one of these TV gimmicks again this year, I've decided to do what works best for me -- fierce competition. The most faithful I've ever been to a diet was when Aunt P and I did Weight Watchers together -- we actually tracked what we ate each day and emailed the list to each other -- or when the Big Dubya and I did Atkins together -- there was no way I was going to let him beat me.... (by the way, we looked awesome).

Relax, I'm not going to record everything I eat in this space -- but last year, I announced on this very site that I was going to start a diet..... figuring the public shame of cheating would be enough to keep me honest -- and it did -- I was doing great. But..... then I got pregnant again and the diet had to be put on hold.

Well, the baby's now 6 weeks old -- and I'm roughly 5lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight.... which was roughly 7lbs more than I'd like to be -- so , what I'm saying is that I'd like to lose 12lbs.

Rest assured, I'm not converting this to a dieting site -- but, once a week (on Fridays), I will brag about my progress (or confess my setbacks) until I hit this goal. If there's anybody else that would like to join the weight-loss crusade..... please feel free.