I hate you internet

I have come to hate the internet.... I guess it's really a love/hate thing.

The Big Dubya started a blog when we were expecting our first baby.... I thought it was kind of silly, but then I saw the community he was becoming part of and I wanted to write too -- so this site was born. It's been a place to vent, to celebrate, to seek advice...... it gave birth to TheWhinery, which I want to be so much more than it is -- but, life gets in the way and it's just a hobby still trying to get off the ground.

Then came Facebook and Twitter and it all became a blur. I loved the ability to reconnect with old friends on Facebook -- to keep track of the busy lives that I am a part of -- and then I made new "friends" on Twitter.

I learned of the death of a dear friend on Facebook -- nobody should ever learn of their friend's death by reading eulogies left on his Facebook page -- but I did.

I scrambled for confirmation -- for someone to tell me what happened.

The unthinkable was confirmed and I realized that we hadn't seen each other in way too long.... I hadn't met his beautiful little girl.... I had only met his wife once or twice and had yet to make her my friend.... he always said we'd be friends if we had chance to spend some time together.

We had made plans several times to get together -- only to have something come up and plans were postponed, rescheduled, broken...

I suppose these are the regrets everyone has when they lose a dear friend --

I began to forgive the internet a little bit -- and then I got sucked into a story that actually made news. I believed a story one of my Twitter "friends" told about a harrowing incident in an airport with her small child. I was so offended and angry -- I too, had bad experiences with airport personnel and children, but nothing like this.

I was then mortified to learn that I'd been had -- the whole story was made up. I'm not sure why I was so upset -- yes, I blindly trusted this woman..... kind of serves me right for putting my faith in someone I don't know at all. But, I believed her and asked my "friends" to believe her too.

I quit Twitter immediately and I've all but stopped blogging.

I'd like to get back to blogging -- I'm just kind of worn down.....

Conversation at Work

Work Dude: Your kids seriously don't drink anything but milk or water?

Mrs Big Dubya: 'lil Dubya drinks some watered down apple juice, but yeah.... other than that it's just milk and water

Work Dude: Wow, that's pretty good

Mrs Big Dubya: Yeah, but we go through something like 6 gallons of milk a week

Work Dude: 6 gallons? man that's a lot of milk -- where on earth do you keep six gallons of milk

Mrs Big Dubya: The beer fridge

Work Dude: The beer fridge?

Mrs Big Dubya: Yeah, we've got a fridge in the basement where we keep the beer -- we put some of the milk in there too -- it's a full size fridge, so it comes in handy

Work Dude: You actually have a fridge full of beer and milk?

Mrs Big Dubya: Yeah, pretty much

Work Dude: Hmmmmm

The odd thing, this whole conversation didn't seem weird to me -- just everybody else who heard it. I'm wondering if maybe we've got issues

Gym? Gym Who? I don't know anybody named Gym

So..... as I've posted here, we are done.

I still stumble over it a little -- it's a little hard even now, but it's a good decision -- it's the right decision -- it's not that I wouldn't love to have another baby -- I would. But I know that I'm beyond blessed with the three that I have and that we are done. The Big Dubya is ready to move on to the next chapter of our lives.... the chapter without bottles, without diapers..... maybe a chapter where we sleep a little.

And well, the 'lillest man is done nursing -- has been done for a couple of months now. This is the longest I've gone without being pregnant in 5 years...... 5 years!

So, my body..... man, my body has taken a beating.

I'm not that big -- yes, I've got some pounds to lose, but I'm still a relatively small person. I'm just lumpy.... really, really lumpy.

So, I did it -- I joined a gym.

More surprising..... I actually go. I go a lot. I'm actually starting to see results. I'm still lumpy, but it's working.

It's only been a few weeks, so I'm not going to declare myself a gym-junky or anything -- I still don't love it -- I watch the clock while I'm there to see when I'm done -- but I go.... and this is a big step forward for me.

PS I was a guest-contributor at DadCentric for Father's Day -- check it out!

I was 17 years old.

He was 19, young -- handsome -- funny -- he had a fake ID, and he was paying attention to me.

Nobody ever paid attention to me -- this was a first. I liked the attention, but didn't really appreciate it -- I was getting ready to go off to college -- he didn't want to hold me back -- we became great friends.

He visited me in college -- everyone predicted we'd end up together -- we were Harry & Sally, but no, we weren't meant to be together that way -- it was almost like we loved each other too much to settle for each other.... if that makes any sense.

We helped each other celebrate new loves, and then get over broken hearts..... we went to our friends' weddings together -- we kept each other company while we waited for "the one"

We talked all night after his girlfriend broke his heart

He took me out drinking when some guy blew me off

I held his hand the day his mother passed away

I was nervous the day I had to tell him I was getting married -- there was no need to be, he was so happy for me.... he had faith that his "one" was out there.... and she was.

I was thrilled the day he told me he'd met "her", the day he called to tell me he'd bought a ring.... the day he called to tell me that they were expecting a baby..... and the day he called to tell me that they'd named his beautiful baby daughter after his mom.

I cried like a baby when I read that he'd died

I sobbed uncontrollably when I knelt before his casket to say goodbye, when I embraced his wife and thanked her for taking care of my guy, for making him so happy, for giving him his daughter, for showing him the gift of true love and profound joy.

He was 39, older but still handsome -- and gone way too soon

Rest in Peace my dear friend

Do you ever feel like we are all just too plugged in?

Let me be clear -- I have a cell phone, I have a blackberry and yes, I have a laptop... two of them actually. And yes, I bring some subset of the group with me just about everywhere I go.

But, can't we just unplug sometimes? Just for a few hours?

Case in point, a few weeks ago we were at a First Communion party for our nephews -- and while outside watching the kids play -- husband is on the blackberry. After seeing him whip it out a half a dozen times, I finally asked "What is so important?"..... he got annoyed and it was put away.

Over this past weekend we went to a concert.... our first "date night" in months and everybody in the place, including my date, was recording the concert with their blackberry/cellphone.

Seriously?

Why are you there if you are so busy working your phone that you aren't even watching the show? Do you really need to take a fuzzy picture of the act on stage? Okay fine, maybe you need one -- but do you need dozens of them? Do you absolutely need to post a photo of the beer you are drinking on Twitter? It looks remarkably like the last one you had -- and I suspect it will be indistinguishable from the next one too, no?

Can't we please just unplug once in a while?

The difference between one kid and three kids?

I might make this a regular series....

One kid -- you hope you can finish your lunch before the kid wakes up from his/her nap....

Three kids -- you just accept the fact that your lunch is the crust you cut off the grilled cheese and/or peanut butter & jelly sandwich and there's no chance of you actually being able to sit down and eat it -- just jam it into your mouth and be grateful you can chew.

The difference between one kid and three kids?

When you have one kid and he/she pees and/or pukes in your bed, you get up immediately and change the sheets -- anything else would be disgusting.

When you have three kids and one of them pees and/or pukes in your bed..... again. You wipe it up the best you can and throw a towel over it. You can change the sheets in the morning.... you need sleep so badly, you don't care how disgusting it is.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to The Big Dubya!

Dirty Hot Dogs

MrsBigDubya: What would you like for dinner?
'lil Dubyette: Hot dogs
Mrs BigDubya: Okay, I'll make you hot dogs
'lil Dubyette: Not dirty ones
Mr Big Dubya: Huh?
'lil Dubyette: I don't want dirty hot dogs
Mrs Big Dubya: Got it, you don't want dirty ones -- I'll make sure they are clean
Mr Big Dubya: Huh?
Mrs Big Dubya: She doesn't want them on the grill -- she doesn't like them to be charred

Summer's here......

It came in with a roar..... summer arrived here in CT this past weekend -- we went from cold, dreary 40 degree weather to fillin' up the kiddie pool and firing up the blender.... ah, spring in New England.

In honor of warm weather's arrival, The Whinery's May assignment is a summery one.....

Go check it out!

Little Barrel

New Post over at the Whinery.... perfect gift idea for Mother's Day -- and a coupon!

Check it out!

New Post over at The Whinery!

Go on, go check it out!

Baseball anyone?

Wanna win a copy of Wii Backyard Baseball 10? Did I mention the fabulous David Ortiz (Big Papi to those in RedSox Nation) is on the box?

Hubby's got some copies to give away, so stop by his site or DadCentric and try to win!!!

What are you waiting for.... FREE WII Game... c'mon scoot!

Things I wish were legit...

I wish lose weight fast schemes would work.... not just for me and the 10lbs that I would love, love, love to lose.... but also for all the profoundly fat people who need to lose exorbidant amounts of weight to simply improve their health -- to make them more comfortable in their own skin, and to make them more available for their children... their family.

I wish those work-at-home deals were for real... I would love to work from home so that I could spend more time with my kids -- or even just supplement my income so that I wasn't always worried about our finances... so dependent on ouside forces to make a living.

I wish those organizations that raise money for the children in third-world-countries really made a difference -- instead of all that donated money going to executives and over-head

I would love it if all those products on the info-mmercials really worked... anybody have a Sham-Wow?

Just what's on my alleged mind today :)

Attachments....

Haven't been posting much -- too busy..... too much to get into..... but I'm trying to come back, if any of you are still reading.

Lately, I've been focusing a lot on my 'lillest man..... he's gonna be 10 months in a few days and I'm so not sure where it went. I've been trying to savor all the "little" moments that I let zoom by with the other two -- but, they all just go by too fast. I'm trying to burn the site of that toothless grin on my brain -- pictures just aren't enough -- a picture just doesn't melt my heart the way the site of that smile.... that smile with one tiny little tooth popping out.

I've had to accept that this is my last one. I know, I'm so insanely blessed to have the three healthy, gorgeous children that I have -- to want more would absolutely be greedy -- that doesn't stop me from wondering ..... hmmmm, what if we won the Powerball?

But this is it -- I'm done. So, as I pack up all the little clothes..... I say a little good bye.

But there are some things that are harder to say good bye to than others -- for the Big Dubya, in a moment of weakness, he admitted that the baby papasan was going to be a tough one to see go. When we brought our first 'lil guy home from the hospital -- he was so tiny -- he weighed only 4lbs (just barely 4lbs) and we had to use receiving blankets to prop him up in it.

For me, there are little articles of clothing -- I'm going to give them a worthy set of parents-to-be so that I'll get to see them on a little one again..... but I'm sad to see them go.

I think the toughest is the basinette. I don't know why I'm so attached to that damn thing -- maybe it's because of the anticipation I felt when we first assembled it.... waiting for it's first little occupant. Maybe it was the excitement the second time we set it up, thinking it would be the last -- or maybe it's because I got to use it one more time..... I don't know.

It's odd to be so attached to a "thing" -- and I'm going to lend it out to another family -- but, this is the one thing..... I think I'd like to get back when they are done. I don't know why -- it's not fancy, or expensive and I will never get to use it again -- but I can't bear to let it go.

A tale of two mothers and two sons....

So, tonight I had my first experience with a toddler in the ER.

Nothing serious -- thank God, but.... it was quite an experience.

The 'lil man got out of the tub and while I was cleaning his ears with a Q-tip, he squirmed and I poked him -- normally I wouldn't think anything of it -- his ears are really, really waxy and I do this after every bath -- but, while drying his hair he was crying and I looked down and there was blood coming out of his ear.

I called the ER and they said they couldn't give me any advice (Gee thanks, why do you have a phone then?), but if I was concerned -- bring him in and have it looked at. I was on the fence, but.... better safe than sorry and so, he & I headed off to the ER.

We arrived and the triage nurse was lovely and said that she'd seen so many cases of this exact thing and that I was right to have it checked out.

While the 'lil man & I sat in the waiting room I noticed another mother and son...... they could be us 15ish years from now. He was holding an ice pack on a splinted wrist and she was white as a ghost -- she just looked nauseaus. A police officer sat with them "interviewing" the kid.... he was pretty pale too and described to the cop where he'd been earlier in the evening. The cop was sharp.... or had more information than the kid realized because he kept asking the same questions over and over..... he caught the kid in a few inconsistencies.

Were you there earlier in the night?
What do you mean jut out driving? What streets were you on?
Was that the first time you were there?
Who was with you?
How fast were you going?
Why did you go back?
Where were you headed?
Why'd you go that way?

He cautioned the kid about how important it was to tell the truth and then said:

I know this is tough in front of your Mom, but it's important to be honest.

The kid was mortified -- he'd learned his lesson -- he'd been an idiot, driving too fast, etc. He kept apologizing to his mother, to the cop.... the cop told him to save it

Apologize to your buddy with the broken arm.... to your girlfriend who's still being evaluated... to your mother who you scared to death

The mother looked like she could throw up on the spot -- she was so grateful her son was okay and yet, was so devastated by what laid ahead. The husband/father arrived and sat with the wife -- offering her support, they discussed what came next -- calling in sick to work tomorrow -- staying in the ER til the other parents arrived and the other kids were released.

She looked at me as I plied the 'lil man with M&Ms and I could tell she was longing for the days when things were simpler.... I know I was grateful to be there for an over-zealous Q-tip rather than for what they were facing.

The 'lil man was called in -- everything was fine -- scratch in the ear canal -- some motrin, a band-aid on the wrist ('cuz it's cool) and some ear drops and we were on our way home..... the other family was still there when we left, dealing with other parents as they arrived -- I'd say they are all in for a long night.

It's like I knew.....deep down, I knew

So, the story starts back in 2005..... when there was just me, Mr Big Dubya and the 'lil Dubya.

I was so excited about his first Christmas.... everything had to be "just right" -- we ordered our Christmas stockings from LLBean.... and I wanted "Joy" from Pottery Barn to hang them. Of course, I balked at the price Pottery Barn was charging -- hoped for a sale, waited too long and they sold out.... I couldn't get them.

It was okay, I got some replacement ones to tide us over.... I knew I wanted baby #2 and hoped that for Christmas 2006 we'd need "NOEL" anyway...... and so in 2006 when we were blessed with the 'lil Dubyette, I was determined to get "NOEL" and with a little help from eBay we did.

We used NOEL for 2006 and deep down in my heart I really wanted to upgrade to "PEACE" in 2007...... hubby had other ideas.

But here we are .... 2008 with another stocking to hang by the chimney with care. Pottery Barn has discontinued "PEACE" (along with the others of course) but I have found it on eBay.... for a whopping $80 -- plus these suckers are heavy and I'd have to shell out some more money to have them shipped. I really, really, really want them -- but $80!!!! I just finished telling the Big Dubya that we need to cut way back this year.... how can I justify spending $80 on something so frivolous?

Maybe I'll just buy them and hope for a government bail out?

Happy Birthday Princess

I can't believe it was two years ago today...... my beautiful baby girl arrived in the world and I'll never be the same.

I believe in my heart that I love all my children equally.... 'lil Dubya, because he was my first.... he's sensitive, and funny, and kind and sweet..... he was the one that made me a Mommy -- he taught me how and was patient with me while I learned.

The 'lillest Dubya, because he's my last..... he's still revealing himself to us -- but he's happy and loving and easy going..... he was a special gift, one that I wasn't sure I'd be given -- I'm relishing every second.

The 'lil Dubyette.... she came in between them.... she's my little girl, my daughter. She's smart and sassy -- so independent, she accomplishes things with sheer determination -- her most oft repeated sentence these days is "No, I do myself" I so look forward to the mother-daughter things.... girls getaways with Granny & Aunt P.... tea parties and dance recitals shopping for proms.... wedding gowns..... grandchildren.

Happy Birthday my beautiful princess -- don't grow up too fast, okay?

Friday Funnies -- Things Overheard at the Dubyas

Mrs Big Dubya: Wow, you look so pretty
'lil Dubyette: No, (eyes fluttered for effect) I'm gorgeous
Mr Big Dubya: Yeah, we really need to work on that self esteem, huh?

********************

Mr Big Dubya: Gives 'lil man a grilled cheese
'lil Dubya: Daddy, I'm really proud of you
Mr Big Dubya: Uhm, thanks buddy

********************

Mrs Big Dubya: Dubya (shrieked at the top of my lungs)
Mr Big Dubya: What..... What are you doing up on the counter?
Mrs Big Dubya: Over there (pointing)
Mr Big Dubya: A dead mouse has you sitting on the counter?
Mrs Big Dubya: It's not dead
Mr Big Dubya: How do you know?
Mrs Big Dubya: It yelled at me

Happy Friday!

Blast from the past...

A funny thing has happened here in Dubya land...... somebody (the always brave commenter "Anonymous") left a scathing comment on a post I wrote.

Normally this wouldn't cause any type of curiosity on my part.... except -- this "anonymous" commented on a post I wrote on September 26th.... of 2005! Yeah, this person commented on a post I wrote 3 years ago, shortly after returning to work after baby #1 (the 'lil dubya) was born.

Weirder.... oh yeah, it gets weirder

Some nice person "Mary" commented.... defending me against this "anonymous" commenter. Thanks Mary.... you, clearly, have some inkling what it's like to be a mother.

I don't care enough about some "anonymous" commenter who doesn't know me (or maybe does know me, but doesn't like me very much) -- but just for fun I thought I'd point out a few things.... help him/her get a grip

1. Hey coward, use your name

2. Invest in spell check -- although I'm really glad you "LOTS" 35lbs I find all of your typos distracting as "ahould" you

3. I don't know what kind of rotten parent you are, or what rotten childhood experience you endured -- but, let me set you straight -- even on the most challenging of days "mommy-hood", as you refer to it, is the furthest thing from a burden I could ever imagine. I pity you if you feel otherwise. It's truly the greatest gift I've ever been given -- and if that means I have a c-section scar, regularly arrive at work with oatmeal hand marks on the back of my sweater.... or that this extra 6lbs is with me forever..... that's fine by me -- I've given the world three extraordinary people who will do exemplary things.

4. If you are going to read blogs and then comment on them..... learn to actually read. I didn't say I hated my friend, I said that "I enjoy my friends’ perfection"and that it's "perhaps even something to strive for"

5. Lastly, learn how to use tense. See, you say that you "used to be a fat, frumpy, catty, pathetic loser too always admiring other people" -- pahlease -- who are you kidding? you still are a pathetic loser..... "used to be" is a phrase reserved for people who have changed.