The Angry Masses

So, yesterday I attempted to run some errands in the afternoon. Nothing gets people pissed off and grumpy like holiday shopping.... and I am no different.

I started off by heading to the place where the gene pool obviously has no lifeguard -- KMart. I needed to get some inexpensive stocking hangers for our mantle.... I wanted the ones pictured above, but the Big Dubya and I were too slow and the Pottery Barn sold out of them.... boo-hoo. Anyway, I ran over to the local KMart because despite the fact that I really can't stand her -- Martha Stewart makes some good stuff for her KMart collection -- it's generally pretty cheap without looking cheap... I figured I could get some stocking hangers to tide us over until we can get the ones I want next year.

I got to KMart's parking lot and I should have been clued in that this was going to be an adventure. People (big burly men) are screaming out their car windows at each other -- a dispute over a parking spot. Here's a hint fellas.... take a spot a little further away from the store.... believe it or not, with the time you've wasted showing us just how macho you are, you could have been inside by now. I parked -- went inside and there were plenty of bargains to be had. I went and found some hangers that would suit my needs, but.... they were snowmen and the Big Dubya's not the biggest fan (his mother inundated us with snowmen decorations a few years ago and as a result, he instituted a moratorium on snowmen decor). So, I figured I'll try a couple more places and would come back if necessary (MISTAKE #1..... should have bought the damn snowmen). Went next door to the Family Dollar..... (MISTAKE #2...the clientele in this place makes KMart look like Nieman Marcus). Left there... a little traumatized, but largely unscathed... went to the Hallmark store that is next to that. They had nothing -- but, I saw the female version of Edward Scissorhands that sometimes delivers our Dominoes pizza.... she's just as scary during the day as she is at night.... if only she had some cheesy bread on her.

Hopped back in the car.... decided to hit TJMaxx... need some frames for the grandparents... maybe they'll have some stocking hangers. On my way, I noticed Walgreens having a big holiday decoration sale.... quick stop in there... you never know. Sure enough, they have really, really cheap stocking hangers.... this is great.... sort through the bins... find 3 that aren't broken.... get in line to pay..... I'm next in line -- FABULOUS! Woman in front of me has two shopping carts full of merchandise (at Walgreens.... who knew?) And then it began.... each product would ring in, she'd incredulously question the price.... $4.79???? I thought that was $4.69.... I don't want it... VOID..... this went on, and on, and on for 25 minutes (I only wish I was exaggerating) -- rainchecks, coupons... a circular in hand. The dude behind me kept sighing very dramatically.... and repeating over and over again... "all I want is some snacks" -- yep, that's what he had in his hands.... snacks. The cashier finally announces her total $103 and change..... she hands over her credit card..... and it won't go through. Are you kidding me??????? Clerk assures her that it's not her card.... it's the computer... he'll go out back and call it in. I give up and leave..... they aren't worth this!

T.J. Maxx is packed, but they have frames..... more than I wanted to spend, but.... at this point I don't care. Went to Brooks Pharmacy, KB Toys and another Dollar Store.... no dice on the hangers, but now I need a beer.... a big one -- I head home -- The Big Dubya agrees to lift the snowman ban and he heads to KMart -- phewww -- the stockings are hung!

Holiday Viewing Guide:
ABC Family
1:30 To Grandmother's House We Go
3:30 Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July
5:30 Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the Jim Carey one)
8:00 Dr Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas (encore presentation of the Jim Carey one)
WB
8:00 The Wizard of OZ (a classic)
FoodNetwork
8:00 AllStar Holiday Party
Toon
7:30 The Christmas Dinasour
Hallmark
7:00 Silent Night