March 26, 2006

The written word

When the Big Dubya and I started dating, much of our courtship was conducted via email. In some ways it sounds quite impersonal -- but it really wasn't.... it more harkened back to the days of letter-writing, which in my humble opinion is a dying art.

In the beginning I remember fretting and laboring over every word -- didn't want to sound disinterested, didn't want to sound over-interested.... didn't want to sound too serious.... didn't want to sound like a flake. I suspect similar consternation was happening on the other end of the carefully worded emails I received in response.

As time went on, we got more comfortable with each other -- and the word/phrase choice became less important. As a result, on more than one occasion one of us would dash out an email and the other would read "voice" or "tone" into the message that simply wasn't there .... and sad to say, a few times it escalated into a full blown argument. "What the hell does "fine" mean, huh?"

I bring this up because, I think many times as bloggers we tend to project "voice" or "tone" into some of the posts and/or comments we read. A perfect example -- it appears that MIM has unintentionally been pissin' off all the fat people out there (just kidding) and she's been getting attacked from every side (hello people, it's a blog.... if you don't like the topic, don't read it!) In some ways, I think she made a big mistake by just posting a couple of thoughts rather than a 750 page dissertation of all the reasons why people gain/lose weight, why people may or may not get depressed and why spouses may/may not mind when their partner balloons up after marriage. Why people can't just take it as food for thought, I don't know -- she has some great arguments -- which are just that...... arguments, theories.... not the rule of law (she's good, she's not that good). I don't agree with everything that she wrote -- but it was thought provoking none the less and made me stop and think about the health of my own body-image and the motivations behind it.

Anyway, the Big Dubya thought he was being a good guy and posted a comment..... intending to throw her some support -- when what he actually ended up doing was insulting the author of a blog that we both really enjoy reading. I'm so glad she got in touch with him -- apparently, what he meant and what he typed were not in the same galaxy at all... and he implored her to remove the comment before he insulted anyone else we like! (Husbands, they just shouldn't be left alone). Anyway MIM was, as always, very gracious -- she removed the post, and accepted his apology -- hopefully we are all good and the international incident was avoided.

The moral of the story.... let's be careful how what we type might be received, 'kay?


Kara said...

i got way too sucked into the bitterness last week, mostly because i, myself, was wicked bittah.

and what does it say about me that hubs and i NEVER exchanged a single email during our courtship. why? because i didn't have email until i was married.
i'll tell you what it says... i've been with him forever, and i'm REALLY old.

Blogging Secret