September 25, 2005

Jameson anyone?

So, for the past week or so, the 'lil Dubya has been waking up with red cheeks.... he's been drooling, crying, gnawing on his hands...... he's teething. Yes, I know.... he's very young to be teething, but...... what can I say? my kid likes to do things early.

People are very kind, so they are always asking how my son is doing -- everytime I've said "oh, he's teething" -- all the women roll their eyes and give me that "Oh, isn't the new mother cute & stupid.... she thinks her three-and-a-half month old baby is teething" look. Some have even gone so far as to tell me that he's hungry or tired. This weekend is a perfect example..... Granny and I took the 'lil man to NY to see Granny's two sisters (my aunts) and my cousins and their children. Upon arrival, Granny's sister held and cuddled 'Lil Dubya. He got fussy and began chewing on his hand -- immediately, I was ordered to "feed this child" -- I tried to explain that he was just fed and that unfortunately, he's teething -- I promptly got the look. I took him back, soothed him and gave her back a look of my own.

Interestingly enough, later in the day the 'lil guy drooled all over the same aunt and she announced in front of everyone "Mrs Big Dubya, 'Lil Dubya is teething!" -- as if this was brand new information and I hadn't told her that just a few hours earlier! It took great restraint not to couple my look with some foul hand gestures.

The poor kid, he's very uncomfortable -- all the teething rings we have are terrific, but he's not coordinated enough to use them yet. He's great at putting his hands in his mouth, he's not bad at holding things.... but putting the two together... notsomuch. In desperation.... I put out a call to some experienced mothers.... asking for any miracle cures, home remedies, wives tales..... anything that might sooth his pain. The old school mothers offered a few.... Irish Whiskey came up more than once, apparently I enjoyed it quite a bit as an infant (explains a lot). The Big Dubya's mother suggested paregoric, apparently the Big Dubya was quite fond of the stuff..... we soon learned that it's opium-based..... a narcotic..... and as such, no longer available (explains an awful lot!). I'm starting to think the 'Lil Dubya is shit-out-of-luck..... his mother's a drunk, his father's an opium junky...... good grief, the kid doesn't have a chance -- and all he's gonna get for his trouble is some children's tylenol and a teething ring that he can't manage to find his mouth with.


Aunt P said...

talked to dad (Granddad) and he's very concerned that the child may be cursed with the little, weasel like McGlynn teeth like Mammy (Granny) has....

Kara said...

one for you, one for me. one for you two for me.
repeat as needed.
some steiner crunchball in the berkshires suggested a remedy. when i looked at the ingredients, it contained BELLA DONNA.
that explains a lot.

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