September 16, 2005

Wanted: Roommate in hell

Maybe I'm a bad person.... or maybe I'm just mean-spirited, but I can admit it..... sometimes, I'm just not nice.

For example.... I stopped at Dairy Queen a couple of weeks ago, and the woman who waited on me was a dead ringer for my husband's ex-girlfriend. Not just any ex-girlfriend.... the one who immediately preceded me.... the one we had countless arguments about.... the one who his friends liked, and wanted to see him get back together with... the one his family liked... the one everyone expected him to marry, the one who probably still hates me. I'm a wee bit ashamed to say that I was like a giddy school girl because this woman (who of course, wasn't Dubya's ex -- just resembled her) looked terrible. She was more like Dubya's ex if she gained 75lbs and fell seriously behind in her grooming & hygiene tasks. For some reason, it just made me feel like a million bucks. I even mentioned it to Dubya.... he too saw the resemblance (he'd seen her on a previous visit) -- and he, being the good and dutiful husband that he is, quickly declared how relieved he was that things turned out the way they did.... our life together, 'Lil Dubya.... it was an aw shucks moment.

Isn't it sad how someone else's misfortune (or in this case, the misfortune of someone who looks like someone else) can make me feel good? I'm sure I'm not the only wife out there whose husband has an ex-girlfriend that we wouldn't mind seeing get really fat or really ugly. And, if we are all being honest, I'm sure there are husbands out there who would delight in seeing their wife's ex-boyfriend gain weight or go bald. It's like thinking that the mean girls from high school got what they deserved when you see them fat and drunk trying to pick up old men at the 99.....

I'm going to hell, and I know it..... let me know if anyone wants to be my roommate.


Cressida said...

lol. I'll join you! My ex boyfriend had 6 girlfiends before me. One of which he was engaged to. They were all still his "friends" and he would talk to them on the phone, go out to eat with them and their husbands, etc. One of his exes had written him about 50 love letters and he kept them under his bed. Of course I read them all and demanded he throw them out... oops.. now THAT'S going to get me to hell!
We aren't together anymore... hmmm. lol.

Mr Big Dubya said...

Already have the room ready.

Kara said...

oh honey, hell is going to be so much FUN!
Even if they only have a 9 hole golf course and nothing to drink but natty lite (come on, it's hell after all), ALL our friends will be there with us.
And W's just too proud to tell that's really her and the reason all his friends liked her is because she let them operate the mister misty machine after hours...

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