"This man will make you money guaranteed"

My maternity leave is quickly coming to an end.... and as I'm up late at night feeding 'Lil Dubya, some of those money-making-scheme infomercials have started to look mighty attractive. I mean if this slimy dude with the Eddie Munster hairdo and the cheesy Miami Vice suit was able to make $20,000 in 30 days, then surely I can make enough to stay at home with the 'Lil Dubya. I don't need to make a lot of money... just somewhere in the neighborhood of what I make now.... a little more would be nice, but I won't be greedy.

If I were to buy into one of these schemes, it would be hard to decide which one.... hmmmm, would it be Carleton Sheets' No Money Down Real Estate Scheme (I mean Program), -- probably not.... I'm not very handy and all the properties on the infomercials looked like ghettos (I mean fix 'er uppers). Maybe it would be the Internet Treasure Chest -- yeah, probably not, they don't tell you what the "products" are.... probably stuff the Dollar Store turned down. Maybe it would make more sense to buy one of those vending machines.... the ones that rent movies or allow public access to the internet.....

On second thought, Big Dubya, could you stop and get PowerBall tickets on your way home? Thanks sweetie -- I'm off to do some deep breathing... Greer Childers is teaching me to breath away the last of the baby weight.