Knit one, purl two

This my friends is a story in cruelty......

Let me preface this by letting it be known..... my people..... my family -- we aren't sentimental types. Please don't get me wrong, we are close -- my siblings and I are probably closer than most, but we aren't attached to "things".... there are really no heirlooms.... we don't give each other cards/gifts with heartfelt sentiment.... sometimes I wish we did, but we don't -- we just don't have it in us -- and that's okay -- and please don't fret dear readers, Dubya's family makes up for us here -- they are very sentimental and thoughtful -- so the 'lil guy won't miss out.

Anyway, I think that this is why I was so touched at my baby shower last May when Aunt P revealed her big surprise -- she had taken time out of her crazy schedule to attend a crochet class in order learn how to make her niece/nephew (we didn't know at the time) a homemade blanket. Aunt P is a lovely girl, but she's not really sentimental and she's very busy, so although her gifts are always very generous.... they are never homemade. Knowing the time and effort she had invested in this gift really touched me.... and the 'lil Dubya sleeps under Aunt P's blanket every night.

Seeing that she had acquired this new skill, Aunt P's been a crocheting machine..... she made the 'lil guy a second blanket and now she's working on one for our cousin's new baby. The new blanket we have is a pretty pale blue (in contrast to the gender neutral first one) and has a lovely pattern..... of holes. The blanket is warm and cozy and the other night the 'lil Dubya and I curled up on the couch under it and he drifted off to sleep. I wrapped him up in it and gently placed him in his crib..... he was all cute and snuggly. The Big Dubya and I got into bed and then heard the most spine chilling screams (totally exaggerated for dramatic effect) coming from the 'lil guy's room..... the Big Dubya lept out of bed and ran in..... apparently, the 'lil guy was upset because his little fingers were caught in the holes and he couldn't figure out how to get his thumb in his mouth without getting a mouth full of blanket. The Big Dubya swapped blankets and all was well again.

See, now a kind, sentimental nice person would let this pass..... but I'm not one of those nice people. I had to call Aunt P and tell her that the 'lil Dubya hates his new blanket (totally untrue).... and that the holes were hazardous (again, totally untrue). There was no need to do this.... it was mean spirited and totally exaggerated, but it was fun..... there is something wrong with me for sure. The Big Dubya listened to this and assured me that there is a place reserved in hell for me...... but, hey..... we already knew that