How do I love my sister, let me count the ways

Nobody can relate to you like your sister…. so, when I conveyed to Aunt P how bummed I was about my wardrobe (or lack thereof), she sprung into action.

You see dear readers, I’m kind of in that awkward stage where….. my regular clothes are too small…. But my maternity clothes look a bit ridiculous…. so the prospect of attending my cousin’s wedding this weekend got me beyond down…. what the hell am I going to wear?

Imagine how psyched I was when Aunt P sent me the following email after running to her local Gap Maternity on her lunch break (apparently, they are having one hell of a sale)

-----Original Message-----
From: Aunt P
Sent: Thursday, June 15, 2006 12:49 PM
To: Mrs Big Dubya
Subject: Phew!

I did a lot in a little time!

I pretty much got anything sized small, that was on sale and wasn't too tunic-y. Tunics appear to be big with pregnant women.

You can pick it up on your way home tomorrow if you want

It's like having my very own personal shopper!

How I spent my birthday weekend

by 'lil Dubya

Mammy & Daddy bought me this cool new wagon for my birthday -- all the kids in the neighborhood have 'em -- it's lots of fun, their parents pull them all around and they just sit there. You should have seen Daddy's eyes light up when he saw that it has cup holders I think he might have some ideas on how to use those bad boys this summer. I had planned on spending quite a bit of time being pulled around this weekend -- you know, waving at my peeps in the 'hood
But, unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate -- and we were stuck indoors.

On Friday, my actual birthday, Mammy insisted we do some housework -- being the model kid that I am, I decided to help out a bit -- first with a little vacuuming

then, some dishes

I thought that if I made the most of being inside on Friday, that Saturday's weather just had to be better -- but...... I was wrong. When I crawled up to the front door on Saturday morning, all I saw was more rain.

My friend Baby Buffalo was visiting, so we sat down and tried to come up with creative ways to pass the time...
Baby Buffalo, an accomplished ballerina, thought it would be a good idea if she gave me some dance lessons.... a dude's gotta know how to dance

I was pretty annoyed that she wouldn't let me lead..... so I explained to her that despite my stature... I'm still the guy.... and, she kindly came down to my level.

We worked up quite an appetite and celebrated my new moves with some cake!


Next weekend is my birthday party..... and it's gonna be awesome... I heard Aunt P's been doing some shopping!

One year ago today, my world became a better place....

Happy 1st Birthday 'lil man!

One year....

It's impossible to believe that the 'lil man will be a year tomorrow.

I remember that day so vividly.... getting up in the morning, going to the doctor for a check-up, touring a couple of daycare centers, meeting the pediatrician..... going into work late, and then staying late..... I remember the details of the entire day with incredible clarity (well, that is until they administered the mass doses of morphine.... at that point, things get kinda fuzzy and chronology totally goes out the window)

What I can't remember is what the day before was like.... I have no idea what I did on June 1, 2005.... it's hard to believe.... but, I don't remember a single thing that happened to me that day -- the day before the most profound change in my life. Little did I know, my life -- my entire world was about to be reprioritized.... my entire focus was about to shift.

Looking for some information....

Okay, so...... I'm tired, I've got a baby who has temporarily suspended his need to sleep and it's hot and muggy. So, I'm wondering..... does anyone know how much it costs to install central air? I've got a birthday coming up.... seems like a reasonable gift, huh?

Thank You, Thank You,.....Thank You Very Much

First of all, I want to thank everyone for the kind comments, emails & messages of good wishes. We are really excited and overwhelmed (a.k.a scared shitless) about the 'liller Dubya's impending arrival.

There are so many things about this pregnancy that are different.... and as usual, nobody shared them with me head of time and therefore, many I didn't know until they happened to me.

First, when you go to order your Maid-Of-Honor dress, and you explain that on the big day you'll be 24-weeks pregnant -- the women in the snooty shop don't offer any guidance. They ask YOU what YOU want to do...... in this case ME and I have no idea..... I've never had to order a Maid-Of-Honor moo-moo before. So, I asked her "Well, what do people in my situation do?" and she snootily responds... "It's really up to them" -- Gee, thanks.... as is always an effective way to deal with life's "big" problems.... I started to cry..... Aunt P thinks I'm nuts.... I ordered a dress based on my bra size, ooohhh, this fitting ought to be fun.

Next, when you had a c-section less than a year ago and you get pregnant.... not only do you "show" much sooner -- but your incision itches like mad and sometimes you think it might just burst open spill all your innards onto the floor.... it' hasn't happened just yet, but I'll keep you posted, as I'm certain it will..... clean up on aisle 3?

If you have an 11-month old at home already, he won't at all be sensitive to your first trimester exhaustion, nausea, dizziness or the fact that he shouldn't try to jump up and down on your lap/abdomen everytime you sit on the couch with him. I'm also not sure men, no matter how supportive they want to be, can comprehend just how much growing a 'lil guy/gal takes out of you.

I didn't know that when I went for my initial pre-natal appointment.... at approximately 6 weeks along (a.k.a. 45 minutes after I peed on the damn stick) that the doctor would start discussing why a scheduled C-section makes sense and if you don't plan a #3 they can take care of a tubal ligation while they are in there...... aaawww, efficiency -- isn't it just awesome!

I didn't know how many people, upon hearing our amazing news, would look at me like I'm some sort of crazed sex maniac..... yes, some people do have their children close together. And I'm not sure the appropriate congratulatory message is to remind me that I may never sleep or have any money ever again.

I'm sure there's more -- and the trip to the OB/GYN is a lengthy post in and of itself.... so there will be more on this topic.

Thanks again for the thoughts, prayers & positive vibes -- they are so very appreciated.

The Dubyas have an Announcement

Hello there dear readers.... it's been a busy time at the Dubya house..... and now the time has come -- we are ready to make an announcement...... well, the Big Dubya doesn't really make the announcement here, but he hints around at it.... you guys are smart, you can put the pieces together.

"I suck"

As some of you may know, the Dubya's jetted off to Florida last weekend.... we flew out Friday, and returned on Tuesday. For those of you monitoring the weather here in the northeast, you'll know that we couldn't have picked a better weekend to get out of dodge.

After offering my assistance several times in the preceeding two weeks, the Big Dubya assured me that he'd handle a mother's day gift for Nana Dubya...... however, the following is a message I received from him on Thursday -- a mere 23 hours before our flight was scheduled to depart.

-----Original Message-----
From: Mr Big Dubya
Sent: Thursday, May 11, 2006 12:35 PM
To: Mrs Big Dubya
Subject: I suck

Would you mind, on your way home tonight, stopping at Outback and
getting a gift card?


Notice, that the subject line does acknowledge that he dropped the ball..... I also belive that it's designed to diffuse my annoyance -- and although this situation was more than mildly infurating, simply because I had offered several times to help out..... I put that aside and responded that I could pick it up -- but Talbot's might be a nicer idea..... something for just her, rather than dinner for her and Papa Dubya.

So, on Friday morning -- the gift was Express mailed in hopes that it would arrive in time for Mother's Day..... alas, it did not.

Now, here's the question....... if we had blown off Mother's Day..... why is it, that I sense I would be blamed? I mean, why is it that the wife is responsible for gift-giving?

Two things I learned this morning

It's been one of those days...... but I still managed to learn something

First, I should pay more attention in the morning when I'm packing the lunches..... 'cause when I got to work, I discoverd that I had the 'lil Dubya's full-fat, organic 4oz yogurt --



and I'm guessing he's got mine, which is low-fat, full of preservatives and 8oz. On the bright side, both of us got vanilla!
Second, I learned that my garage door opener -- doesn't open the security gate on the garage here at work..... for that, I need to use my employee ID.

Irish Mrs Brady

I had one of “those” mothers – she wasn’t just my mother – she was the entire neighborhood’s mother – almost ever kid in the school yard called her “mom” – it seems strange now, but it was just normal back then.

I’m not sure what it was about her – she wasn’t the glamorous mother – she wasn’t the mother that used to take us cool places (she didn’t even have a car until I was in high school). She wasn’t the mother that had the cool house or cooked good dinners – she didn’t let us drink at her house or have wild parties but she had an appeal. Most of our school friends referred to her as “Irish Mrs Brady” – the neighborhood kids referred to her as “that nice Irish lady”. She was sweet and kind and her door was always open – if you were having trouble at home, you could stay over – as long as you called your parents to ask if it was okay – many a kid had their “cooling off period” at our house.

I remember a friend in high school, a girl I didn’t even really know that well – she had a blow out with her parents and asked if she could stay over. I said sure and brought her home. My parents were already in bed, so I brought her up to my room and she crashed on the floor. In the morning she woke up and went downstairs to use the bathroom….. she came back up with a look of utter shock. I asked her if she found the bathroom okay – she said “yeah, and some Irish lady asked me if I wanted breakfast” -- I said, “oh good – Mammy’s cooking breakfast”

My friend was shocked – there was no third degree, not even an introduction – just hi honey, want some breakfast? Apparently, she expected my parents to be upset with her or with me – but no, that’s not how they were.

Even now, we have friends that call or visit her around Mother’s Day – some just stop by, some bring flowers… one girl brings a Friendly’s ice-cream cake…. She knows all about Mammy’s sweet tooth.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Today's the Big Dubya's birthday -- so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The 'lil man was so excited to start the day, he got up at 4:00am. I quietly fed him & settled him back into his crib..... of course, by the time I got to bed I was WIDE AWAKE -- the birthday boy was still enjoying his slumber.

Around 6:00, I realized that getting back to sleep was futile -- so I washed some bottles and threw in a couple of loads of laundry -- I'm like the Army, I get more done before 9:00am then some people do all day.

At 6:45, I whispered to the birthday boy -- "keep an ear for the 'lil man, I'm going to get coffees" and off to Dunkin Donuts I went. A quick stop at the ATM for some cash and WalMart for a gift bag and I was home with coffee & donuts in a jiffy.

Now, we're getting ready to head off and spend this gorgeous sunny day in NYC -- wandering around, spending money we don't have on stuff we don't need..... isn't life grand?

Say Cheese....

I typically don't pay much attention to the celebrity hype around TomKat, the KFeds and Brangelina...... but, I couldn't help cringe when I read that Tom Cruise had bought an ultrasound machine. I mean, c'mon people.... he goes on and on about how medication is unnecessary, and that psychological troubles can be solved with exercise and vitamins and then he goes out and buys an ultrasound so he can be a pre-natal peeping Tom.

Well, apparently his odd behavior is being monitored by more than just the Star and the Enquirer..... The California assembly is Tom-watching too!

Ooops I did it again!

Yeah, so I did it again...... I was up late with the 'lil man, and I got sucked into another infommercial. No, I didn't buy, I didn't order, but I watched....... for way longer than I should have. Those are 10 minutes I'm never getting back, but..... let's just fantasize for a minute, shall we? I mean..... wouldn't it be amazing if all you had to do to lose weight was drink some coffee?

Why me Lord, Why me?

Is it my face? Do I just look like someone that you want to talk to about deeply personal things?

A couple of weeks ago…. I guess it’s about a month ago now, I was at the pediatrician’s office for the ‘lil man’s 9-month check-up. We got there a few minutes early….. honestly, I’m almost always a few minutes early…. I think it’s the polite thing to do.

Anyway, as we are sitting in the waiting room, another little girls starts making eyes at the ‘lil man. She was probably about 5 – she was very cute and the ‘lil guy couldn’t take his eyes off of her. As is standard, her mother asked – “Oh he’s cute, how old is he”? So I replied “Thank you, he’s 9½ months” – and then she asks me…. “Are you going to have any more”?

I often find this question off-putting, simply because it’s a very personal thing…. My mother hasn’t asked me if I plan on having more…. My sister hasn’t asked me if I plan on having more – I think they both know that I’d like to have one more, but it’s a very personal decision. So, to have this woman I’ve never laid eyes on before broadcast the question across a pediatrician’s waiting room…. Well, it kinda rattled me.

I responded that, “Yes, I hope to have another child at some point” -- Well, then I learned that, LUCKY ME, not only was she going to invade my privacy, but she’s also gonna do some sharing. “I’m not having anymore, I wasn’t supposed to have her, so I had a hysterectomy”.

What does one say to such a revelation? In my mind I was hoping that superheroes were real and that Captain Inappropriate was going to swoop in and save me, but no…. no such luck. I just said "Well, that makes her all the more of a blessing, doesn’t it?" – and prayed that if the Captain wasn’t coming to save me that a nurse would call us in soon….. and mercifully, she did!

It's Freaky Friday

The fellas over at DadCentric decided to turn the reigns over the their wives for the day.... so, head on over -- see what the gals have to say.... who knows, if the response is strong -- it could be a recurring feature.

They didn't get their money's worth today

If I work with or for you..... please stop reading, as my job will probably be in jeopardy.

I drove to work this morning..... I took my own sweet time, I didn't rush..... I was in no hurry. I stopped and got gas, treated myself to an iced coffee and then I went to the post office, bought some stamps and mailed a birthday card to a college roommate. When I finally got to work this morning, it was around 7:45 and I simply didn't want to be there. I started house-hunting..... we aren't in the market for a house -- we probably couldn't afford to move even if we wanted to, but it was fun to look at houses online that are 2-3 times the size of ours.... and that we could only buy if we win tonight's powerball -- hell, I even emailed a couple to the Big Dubya so he could join the fantasy with me.

Next, I started surfing the net..... I emailed Aunt P some suggestions for wedding favors -- then we proceeded to email back and forth..... mostly about stuff for her wedding. Around 11:30, I decided to take an early lunch break and run some errands -- I went to Bed, Bath & Beyond, Linens & Things, Pier One, Target and then I stopped at Subway and grabbed some lunch. I got back to work around 12:45ish and while I ate my lunch I started emailing Aunt P again.... describing what I was unable to find on my shopping excursion. At 1:00, I decided I'd goofed off enough and that I should get ready for my 2:00 meeting. -- then at 1:10, 'lil Dubya's teacher called.... he's got a fever and I need to go get him. So, I told my boss that I'd be leaving early and now I'm on the couch with my little man.

I'm not sure I earned my keep today, but..... I think it might put a dent in all the Sundays I've been putting in lately

It was a day of firsts

The Big Dubya and I have been married for a little over 4 years, we've lived in our house for about 2½ years. We have never been big Easter people -- we usually just stay home rather than trek to see our families in Boston and then get stuck in unruly traffic coming back on Sunday night..... and we intended this year to be no different. But then my parents (Granny & Granddad) announced that they'd like to come visit and Aunt P mentioned that she was staying home while Mr Tall Guy was headed to PA to visit his family..... so we invited them to join us -- it was after all the 'lil Dubya's first Easter.

It was kind of exciting..... before we moved to CT, I used to host both of our families for a chinese buffet (complete with too much to drink) on Christmas Eve, but ever since we moved..... nobody's wanted to come. I was a hostess with nobody to host -- so on Saturday morning, while we anxiously awaited their arrival, I busted out the china. Yes, 4 years of marriage and we'd never used the Wedgewood...... I had to take the labels off and everything. I then proceeded to set the dining room table..... Yes, 2½ years in our house and we'd never actually eaten in the dining room.

We had a lovely dinner (well, I thought it was lovely).... and it really did taste better in our newly christened dining room, on our newly christened china.

Now, let's see if they'll come for Thanksgiving too

How do you know when you are exhausted?

So.... how do you know when you are exhausted?

How about when you call the pizza place to order a pizza and when they ask for your phone number..... you stammer, and stammer and then simply declare that you don't remember.

Thank God they've got Caller ID

Miscellaneous Stuff

Sorry I've been out of the loop..... it's been the perfect storm in the Dubya house..... the 'lil guy's been under the weather and I'm in the process of changing jobs. You wouldn't think that changing jobs would take 6 months, but sometimes it does..... while I was on maternity leave my righthand person got offered and took a promotional opportunity.... so I've been without a right hand since September. So, when my own opportunity came along..... I was asked to stay on until they found a replacement for me (and the right hand) and of course, being a team player, I agreed. Well.... that was in November and I still haven't been replaced. Sometime during January or February, my new boss got frustrated waiting for me to transition over.... so he started assigning me work too. So, essentially, I'm doing three full-time jobs.... plus all the extra things I take on because I'm a type-A over achiever. As a result of this chaos, I've been working long days and most weekends for the past month..... (don't yu love corporate life?) and you guys have had very little to read from me.

Speaking of sucky corporations.... let's talk about the insurance industry, shall we? The 'lil Dubya was born premature -- and as the TV PSAs (Public Service Announcements) tell us, preemies are susceptible to RSV and should be vaccinated during the winter months (Nov-April). The NICU of the hospital where the 'lil man spent the first month of his life sent our pediatrician a letter saying that they strongly recommend the vaccination -- so the pediatrician supplied us with some info and after doing our own research, we agreed. Well, imagine our shock (because supposedly I have outsanding insurance) when our insurance company said they wouldn't cover the shots. So, (with an appropriate amount of attitude) I declared we'd pay for them out of pocket.... how much could they be, right? The nurse responded that it would be $1800 per shot based on his current weight -- and of course he's expected to gain weight, so it could be as much as $2,500 per shot by the time we were done. Okay people, I'm an accountant -- that's like $12,000!!!!!

I asked why they wouldn't cover it despite the fact that it was recommended by the hospital where he spent time in the NICU.... wouldn't they be in a position to make such a recommendation? They said that the 'lil man didn't have enough of the risk factors... he was one short..... what do you mean? I asked incredulously? He was born premature, asthma runs in his family, he goes to daycare..... all risk factors. The case worker kindly responded "Yes dear, but you and your husband don't smoke -- if you were smokers, he'd be covered"

So, my insurance company is penalizing my child because we live a healthy lifestyle.... AWESOME! We ended up getting the shots covered through my RX coverage... albeit with a hefty co-pay.

Lastly, these things are fabulous!

Ten Things Mrs Big Dubya cannot do

10. Well, it has already been well documented that I cannot fold a fitted sheet.
9. Hard as I try, I cannot stick to a diet or a budget
8. As much as I'd love to, I cannot sleep in...... even back in the day when all my friends were snoozin' until noon -- I was up and at 'em by 6.
7. I cannot, for some unfathomable reason, put on a black outfit withough smearing it with either deodorant or toothpaste.
6. I cannot stick to the speed limit -- I'm always pushing it just a little bit
5. I cannot keep stuff from piling up on our kitchen island or on our dining room table (mail, candles, boxes, UGHHH....)
4. I cannot paint my own nails -- toes, I can do okay (not great, but okay) -- fingers -- hopeless
3. I cannot have just one -- of anything.... potato chips, french fries, glasses of wine, beers.....
2. I'm running out of steam here..... I guess I can't come up with a list of 10 things
1. I cannot get the damn ointment into the 'lil Dubya's eyes

Yes friends, the 'lil man woke up this morning with his eyes gooed shut. Pink eye has hit everyone in his class..... 5 babies were sent home on Tuesday -- there are only 7 babies in the class. Four of them simply had fevers -- one ended up with bronchitis, pink eye and two ear infections. When the 'lil man woke up with his eyes gooed shut I wasn't overly concerned -- he wakes up with eye boogers from time to time -- we wipe 'em up and we're good to go. Well, today was different -- the more I wiped, the more boogers formed. The Big Dubya had to work today, so I was torn as to what to do -- there was no fever and no "pink".... doesn't "pink eye" have to involve some "pink"? But, I figured we could give the pediatrician a buzz anyway.... he's got Saturday morning hours and my logic said that I'd rather call him today, then wake up tomorrow wishing I had.

Have I mentioned that I LOVE our pediatrician? He's not hot or anything like Beth's, but he's just so kind and laid back and he's never made me feel bad for calling or bringing the 'lil guy in. I must be a pediatrician's worst nightmare..... first time mother, mother of a preemie, no family in the area to consult...... but he's been awesome since day one. In fairness to me, I don't call him with every little thing, and most of the time he's told me that we were right to bring him in -- so I reported to the pediatrician's office this morning with my eye booger ridden baby in tow.

Yeah, these need to be treated...... usually boogers of this caliber are the start of something bigger -- might just be a headcold, but let's keep an eye on him. He prescribed some ointment..... and that's when I learned how hard it is to get ointment into a 10-month old's eyes!

One dose applied...... 20 more to go (3 per day X 7 days = 21 doses - 1 dose administered this morning.... 20 to go)