Gift Giving

Well, the Big Dubya alluded to it over at DadCentric -- but I feel a little bit of a need to defend myself.....

We buy Christmas gifts (yes, they are Christmas gifts... not holiday gifts... we celebrate Christmas, damn it!) for our families, not EVERYONE as he so cutely exaggerated. Historically, we did buy for our entire family.... but we have made some modifications as the years have passed. I think, what truly is at issue here is how we define "family". I have 20 aunts & uncles and 29 first-cousins (we are Irish, afterall), and we do not buy for any of them.... weddings, new babies -- absolutely we send something.... but, birthdays, Christmas.... nope.... there are simply too many..... most of them get a Christmas card (assuming I have a current address) but, that's it!

Now, our friends..... I have two very close girlfriends.... they were my bridesmaids, I was a bridesmaid in one of their weddings, maid-of-honor (chief-bridesmaid) in the other. Dubya & I are godparents to one of their children. We no-longer buy gifts for these friends, I do get something small for each of their children (both have two). This to me is not EVERYONE, it's four little girls.

My immediate family is small.... my parents, me (and my men), Aunt P (and now Mr Tall Guy) and Brother RoRo.... if we didn't buy for each other... there'd be no presents.... just a poorly decorated tree in my parents' living room. Dubya's immediate family has gotten quite large.... his parents.... Dubya, me & the 'lil man.... Medium J, his wife and three 'lil J's and then his Youngest younger Brother (who I haven't given a catchy pseudonym yet), his wife and their two youngin's -- so beginning last year, we all agreed we'd only buy for his parents and the kids.... the kids could get a small token for their godparent.... usually a t-shirt or a bottle of something yummy (Dubya got Bailey's... YUMMMM). I suspect we'll follow a similar model in my family once there is more than just one grandchild, but for now..... this is what we do.

Yes, I do toss the mailman a few bucks.... and yes, I will get something for my boss and the women who care for our tiny little baby every day... something small.... chocolate usually works best. And, this year.... after examining the list, we'll add one more little girl.... because back on June 3rd, it occurred to me that our family has expanded and drrrrr I didn't even know it.

The Buffalos have become part of our inner-circle.... our closest friends. They didn't start out that way.... they started out as Dubya's work friends..... then they slowly became my friends too..... and then Dubya and the Buffalos changed jobs and we all kept in touch, so they morphed from work-friends to real friends..... and then on June 2nd, we had a mini-crisis.... not a real earth-shattering crisis.... but our little world was sent spinning with the arrival of our pre-mature little miracle.... and who did the Big Dubya call first???..... our families. (Beware, here comes the moral of the story and the awww shucks moment) See, when your world is falling apart -- you reach out to the people who matter and sometimes.... who those people turn out to be surprises you. When the 'lil guy arrived.... we called our parents and our siblings..... and we called a few close friends who are, to me, our extended family. Don't get me wrong... I don't believe in going into debt over Christmas -- that's just stupid .... but a small token once a year to tell a child that you love them is okay in my book!