December 26, 2005

Confessions of a Drunk Dialer

So...... this was the Christmas where my mother learned that all three of her children are drunks.... yes, Aunt P, Uncle Ro-ro and Mrs Big Dubya all got HAMMERED for Christmas.

The Dubyas (Big & 'Lil) and I woke up very early on Sunday morning..... showered, fed the 'lil man, opened presents and got on the road.... first stop..... my parents' house. We arrived around 11 and it was around 11:45 that we all decided it was okay to have a beer..... Dubya's rationale: "They're drinking in Vegas"

I should have known I was in trouble as soon as that first beer was cracked.... they were going down like they knew the way.... and the supply was bountiful! Dinner was to be served at 3:00ish, I figured that would be a great way to slow down the buzz...... a big prime rib dinner. Just as we sat down to eat, the 'lil man spit up all over me.... so, I excused myself and went to change (him and myself) by the time I got back to the table.... my dinner was cold and my wine glass was full -- it only made sense to abandon the dinner and enjoy the wine. Yes my friends, this is when I switched over to Merlot.

Wrapped up dinner and were at the Big Dubya's parents' house by 4:00...... Dubya's sister-in-law and I launched into a bottle of Merlot...... and promptly polished it off. Sadly, there was no more Merlot..... and I'm not sure why we thought this would be a good time to hit the mother-in-law's Pinot Grigio, but..... we did..... and I'll be damned..... it started to hit back!

The Big Dubya poured me into our car.... and brought me back to my parents' house where we were staying. It's only about a 5-mile ride.... just long enough for me to call my friend in Colorado and an old college roommate for the obligatory "I LOVE YOU, MAN.... MERRY CHRISTMAS" calls.... Drunk girls cannot be trusted with cell phones!!!!

Once in the house, my mother's disappointment was palpable.... she was not only unimpressed with my inebriated condition.... she was very upset to be putting a second plastered child to bed..... apparently Aunt P had made her own phone calls (to friends, parents of friends....) and then "passed out from the drink" a couple of hours before.

Dubya's friend 40 was playing cards with Uncle Ro-ro when we arrived...... they were in better condition than me, but I'm not sure they stayed that way..... we were all looking kind of rough this morning when we got up.... and there was quite a bit of debris (remnants of Chinese food.... empty beer bottles/cans..... shot glasses)

Overall it was a great Christmas.... despite all the people I now have to call with apologies... my in-laws, friend in Colorado, college roommate, my parents, 40 (who I kinda teased about a girl he pretends he's not interested in)......

I really thought that I'd seen the last of making morning-after apologies....... on the bright side.... I was making all I love you/I miss you calls..... better than the other kind, right?


Kara said...

you crack me up.

hope you're feeling better!

Matthew said...

I didn't get a call?

This could be a new family tradition! You could write about it for my blog next year! =)

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