Dear Miss Stiletto

Dear Miss Stiletto --

I personally have never been accused of being fashion-forward.... so, I'm sure my little thoughts will make no sense to you, but this is my blog and I'll whine if I want to.

If you opt to wear shoes you can barely walk in to the office, may I ask that you do your teetering wobble off to the side of the corridor?

You see, some of us base our travel time on our ability to walk to meetings at a somewhat brisk pace.... and we wear appropriate shoes to accomplish this travel.

Getting stuck behind a middle-aged Barbie-doll attempting to walk in shoes that are clearly designed for hookers can really hamper my ability to get to meetings on time.

I have no problem with your new-born-Bambi learning to walk impression -- but, scoot over -- let us serious people pass you please, okay?

Dear Orlando International Airport

An open letter to Orlando International Airport from Mrs Big Dubya:

Dear MCO,

You suck!

Get your act together.

Regards,
Mrs Big Dubya

**************************************

An airport that is in such close proximity to Walt Disney World should be better equipped to handle families with small children...... MCO is not.

On Friday morning, we left our Walt Disney Resort on the 8:50am Magical Express. For those who travel to Disney, the Magical Express is a fabulous service that I highly recommend. We grumbled a bit because our flight wasn't until noon..... 8:50 seemed a bit early, but -- we stuck with the resorts recommendation -- and thank God we did.

Shortly before arriving at the airport, the 'lil Dubyette let out a small cough -- which was followed by a bout of projectile vomit that jettisoned her entire breakfast which consisted of yogurt and fruit. The Big Dubya acted fast and managed to clean up the mess -- but her outfit and my shirt were casualties that were beyond the power of mere baby wipes.

Once off the Magical Express, we found a bench and pulled whatever outfit we could out of the luggage -- she didn't match, but she was clean.... sorta.

We got in line to check our bags and waited 45 minutes...... 45 minutes is absurd especially when you've already got your boarding passes. This is a domestic flight....... UGH

We then proceeded to the security check point where we waited close to an hour..... an hour? are you kidding me? And, let's be honest -- this is Orlando -- everyone has at least one child with them. Fortunately, our kids were unbelievably cooperative -- but that's not the point. Every time we fly through MCO it's the same story -- if they are going to deal with this high passenger volume they ought to configure and staff accordingly.

If anyone knows a time of day that's better at MCO -- please let me know. We've got another trip planned in August/September and I'd like to avoid a repeat of this disaster.

The Dubya Family Vacation -- 2008

So, we are heading to Disney on Sunday

We've been to Disney before.... many times before..... but this is our first trip with my in-laws.

Now, in the spirit of fairness..... I hit the in-law lottery. I have arguably the best in-laws anyone could ever hope for. They are interested and involved, but not over bearing or intrusive. They are generous beyond reason and they made me feel welcome into their family long before they knew they might get stuck with me. They are easy-going and they simply adore our kids -- I couldn't have selected better grandparents for the 'lil dubyas.

All that being said.... we are still going on vacation with the in-laws for the very first time -- and along with that comes a certain amount of stress.

We go on trips with my family all the time -- so, I know what to expect. I participate in the planning (aunt P and I usually divide up the responsibilities) and I know that if things don't go like clock-work, well -- chances are we'll all get a good giggle out of it and the story will become part of the fabric of our trip's memories.

This trip is different.

For this trip, I did virtually ALL of the planning --

I selected the dates, booked the flights, the hotel.... and although I really enjoy all of the planning that goes into a group trip -- I tend to take on an unreasonable amount of responsibility for everyone's enjoyment. If there's even one snag, snafu or hiccup.... I'll feel like it's my fault and I ruined their trip. If I select a restaurant and the food or service is crap, if I select a hotel and the rooms aren't nice, if I book an airline and the luggage gets lost.....

I know it's absurd..... but, I'm a first-born and a daughter.... this is what daughters do....

Overheard at the Dubyas

Mr Big Dubya: You peed in the toilet!

Mrs Big Dubya: Standing up like a big boy -- you peed in the toilet -- we are so proud of you.... good job 'lil man

'Lil Dubya: I peed in the bath...

Mrs Big Dubya: Yeah buddy, we're choosing not to focus on that part

So, we are now part of minivan nation...

So, after receiving the call that no wife/mother (particularly one who is seven months pregnant and already has high blood pressure) wants to receive last Monday morning -- it became painfully clear that the Dubyas were in the market for a new car.


We knew that this would happen eventually, with our family growing to three children under the age of three.... three carseats will soon become a fact of life for us and the average sedan/compact SUV just doesn't support that much child safety hardware (why is that I wonder?) -- but I thought we had more time. I thought we could wait at least another six months (after I wrapped up maternity leave) before we'd be faced with trading in hubby's car for something a little roomier..... but that was not in the cards.


So, we went and we did what I had always considered the unthinkable..... we bought a mini-van.


Yes it's true, this isn't your father's mini-van...... it's got all the bells and whistles and the 'lil Dubya keeps referring to it as the fancy car with the magic doors - and let's not forget the moooovies, but it's still a mini-van.....

I used to be cool..... I swear I did

In desperate search of....

A few years ago, the Big Dubya and I were watching TV when soda nearly came streaming out of my nose at the site of a commercial for this stuff.

I wondered what the hell kind of people need a a special fluorescent light to conduct urine reconnaissance missions and then require a chemical solution to deal with the age old problem of removing whatever urine is uncovered. Other than the odd friend with an aging pet, I really didn't think random urine was a serious issue. That was...... until I became the mother of a toddler in the throws of potty training.

The 'lil man loves, loves, loves his new big boy underpants. He puts them on and dances around singing "under-pants, under-pants" -- he even has his almost 16-month old sister running to the bathroom door and screeching to go "pee-pee" -- once on the hopper she holds out her hand and demands "paper" and proceeds to wipe away the non-existent pee -- it was really very cute the first couple of times -- now? well... you know how novelty works.

Anyway, from time to time the 'lil man has an accident. C'mon -- it's only natural -- kids have accidents -- BUT..... sometimes I see the wet pants, but really don't know where offense occurred..... and he won't tell me -- so I end up down on all fours feeling around for a puddle. Isn't motherhood glamorous?

Urine be Gone doesn't seem so silly anymore.

Fired? For that?

Once again, I'm diving into an area that I generally avoid in this space (yes, because I'm afraid of all you guys not liking me anymore).... politics.

Not sure if you saw it, but Samantha Power was fired asked to resign over flack generated when she called Hillary Clinton a "monster"

Is it me? or is this freakin' insanity?

Look, I don't care for any of the presidential candidates -- and it was a stupid, immature thing to say, BUT to fire someone? An unpaid volunteer..... for a little name calling? Uhm -- get a grip people.

I mean seriously.... if you want to be president -- your going to need a thicker skin -- and hey Barack, how 'bout a little loyalty? This woman's been working for your campaign for FREE for 14 months and instead of asking her to issue an apology and move on -- you fire her?

This is not a slam at the dems..... McCain's been no better -- disassociating himself from anybody who's been less than kind.

Good grief -- are we really getting that politically correct? I call the 'lil Dubya a monster all the time -- I hope my job is safe.

I want a job where attendance isn't mandatory

Yeah, I think my next job is going to be US senator.

I know, I'm being snarky -- but seriously folks why do the citizens of the United States accept this? I don't typically write about politics (probably because I'm afraid you'll throw rocks at me), but if I'm going to be equally critical of democrats and republicans..... it should be okay, right?

We've got three senators running for president -- yet, none of the three of them have given up their job as senator. This normally wouldn't bother me -- I mean, I've interviewed for jobs without giving up my current job...... but my interview lasted a day -- maybe two. These three yahoos have been criss-crossing the country for months on end and as a result, are not showing up for their job as senator. There are three states not being represented by their elected official.

During 2008 alone (January 22nd through today), the 110th Congress has voted on 36 issues...... want to guess how many Senators Obama, Clinton and McCain have actually showed up for?

Senator McCain has managed to show up for 13 votes (that's 33%..... would your boss be pleased with that attendance rate?)

Senator Obama he's even worse at 11 votes (30.5% for your number junkies)

Senator Clinton? yeah, she doesn't even try.... 3 votes (8.33%)

Why don't the people of Arizona, Illinois & New York deserve to have senators who actually represent them?

I will concede that the majority of these issues are probably not critical to national security or what-have-you -- but this is their job. This is what my tax dollars are paying them a salary of $162,500 for -- shouldn't we demand that they at least show up?

Okay, I'm done

Vote for Mrs Big Dubya -- US senator to the blogsphere

Thank Gawd it was on Triple Clearance...

You may remember a month or so ago..... our stupendous New England Patriots played a little football game in Arizona and through some lapses in judgement did not exactly come out on top..... yes, after winning 18 straight, they actually lost #19.

Many of us have tried to put it out of our minds....... some of us have been less successful than others.

Well, shortly before game time -- it came to my attention that my dear husband had made a friendly wager with an internet buddy. He agreed to dress our children in Giants gear and post their photo on his blog if the Giants were to win -- the buddy agreed to do the same to his child if the Patriots were to win.

Initially I was aggravated, because the Big Dubya knows how I feel about posting photos of the children on the web..... I'm probably being unreasonable, but I just worry about perverted whack-jobs looking at photos of my children. He validly raised the point that he's got the kids in his banner already...... I ended up conceding simply because the Patriots couldn't actually lose this game, but then they did......

Being the good guy that he is, Metro agreed to a wager substitution and said that he'd accept a photo of the Big Dubya wearing the Giants gear as payment. I told hubby that it was up to him -- I could have spoke up, but I didn't..... so it's my own damn fault. Anyway, I was asked to pop out at lunch and get a Giants shirt so that the photo could be taken and posted.

Thank God it was on clearance -- I felt unfaithful just holding it in my hand. The woman at the counter said "This is a great sale, you should get two" -- I smiled and said "I don't even want to buy this one"

Keep an eye on hubby's site...... I'm guessing the photo will be up in the next day or so.

Pajama Day

So, yesterday was pajama day at daycare. This was kind of cool for us because pajama days are usually on Fridays, a day where my kids don't attend..... so they get left out. The 'lil Dubya was pretty excited to where his pajamas to school and it was cute to see all the kids in their jammies -- and the teachers too.

Obviously my little brain has too much time on its hands because on my ride to work my mind began to wander and I began to wonder.... what would it be like to wear my pajamas to work?

Well, okay -- it would be a disaster.

Right now, as I approach 7 months pregnant -- my pjs consist of an over sized bar tee-shirt left over from my college days and a pair of the Big Dubya's pajama bottoms (love the drawstring!).

But then of course I couldn't just stop there -- I started to wonder about my co-workers..... Mr. Conservative would probably have a coordinated Ralph Lauren ensembles -- perfectly coordinated and pressed. Ms. wannabe CFO would probably have some sort of Laura Ashely number. Miss "I wear things inappropriate for work" would probably show up in something a la Fredrick's of Hollywood two sizes too small...... and Mr Studly all the women love me ..... oh dear God, don't go there.... don't go there....

Let's hope pajama day never catches on at work

Happy Friday folks!

What do you think of my fancy new banner?

I have the greatest (and most talented) hubby evah!

I can't belive I'm going to admit it, but....

I actually watched an episode of the Supernanny -- and GASP, I actually enjoyed it.

Earlier in the week I'd seen a teaser for an episode about Wilson Philips singer (and daughter of Beachboy Brian Wilson) Wendy Wilson. For some reason, I am somewhat reassured about my parenting skills (or lack of) when I see people who have seemingly endless resources struggling with the same things we struggle with -- so I set the DVR to record.

So, the other night I couldn't sleep -- so, I turned it on and was shocked to see these people have the same problems as we mere mortals. They have a 3 year old, a 4 year old and 6 week old twins. They were battling things that I will likely face when #3 arrives -- a 3 year old who was regressing..... pacifier, potty training, etc.

Supernanny doesn't have a magic wand, and she doesn't attempt to turn the kids into zombies -- she just wants them to learn how to behave, while still being a child.

I'll admit it, I used to make fun of the show -- but I may watch again.

I wish Dunkin Donuts would do this

I like Dunkin Donuts a lot -- I know you "true" coffee people are probably shuddering at the thought, but...... Starbucks can be delicious, but other than their super fancy (and sometimes frozen) concoctions, their coffee always tastes burned to me.

But, at least it always tastes burned..... consistency is the key, I know what I'm going to get when I walk into a Starbucks.

Dunkin Donuts?...... well, it's a roll of the dice every time I walk into the place. They ought to follow the Starbucks model and do some training. I was initially so excited to see that Dunkin Donuts is doing 99¢ lattes today.... and then reality set in and I realized that there is a better than good chance that it'll taste like a 49¢ latte and I'll be sorry I bothered.

Household tasks I HATE

Look, I never claimed to be a good housekeeper..... I swear, I never did.

I hate cleaning the house -- but, it's a necessary evil and I'm always happier in a clean house -- so, there you have it -- and in fairness, I'm pretty lucky -- the Big Guy does his fair share.... and many of those jobs are the jobs I hate the most (floors, putting out the garbage....).

But, really -- is there a job worse than putting away the laundry?

I don't mind washing it -- I don't even mind folding it...... but I hate, hate, hate putting it away -- the only thing that I hate more is matching up the socks -- I even go to great lengths to buy all the same kind of socks so that I can minimize the matching up frustration. But, what's worse than matching up adult socks..... those teeny tiny 'lil kid socks.

There's only one thing I hate more than than matching up the socks.... unpacking after a vacation.... probably because it entails putting clothes away..... this could be a theme for me.

What house work do you hate?

Decisions, decisions

Well, folks.... here we are..... once again pretty pregnant and once again we have no baby names.... well, no acceptable baby names.

It should be easy, right? Well.... no -- not for me.... it's hard....

The 'lil man's first name is one we both liked.... his middle name is for my father & grandfather -- the 'lil lady..... well, we both liked the name, but -- if we are being honest, the Big Duyba named her and her middle name is for his maternal grandmother (which went over really, really well with Nana Dubya).

When I bring up the topic, the Big Dubya just glazes over.... says he's given me all the names he can come up with..... then I revisit my list -- there is no overlap we are back to square one.

Why is this so hard?

Belated....

Six years ago today, my new husband and I left for our honeymoon........ it was
my first full day as the Mrs Big Dubya.........

Happy anniversary big guy

Happy Birthday Dear Friend!

I wish I could say we were going to throw down a few to celebrate..... but, that's going to have to wait anohter 106 days.......

In the meantime, Happy Birthday Friend!

Dear Red Sox

Dear Red Sox,

How is it possible that you can pay Manny $17 million this year, but can't afford a decent online ticketing system, huh? ......

Last night, I was beyond delighted to get an email saying:

Dear Mrs Big Dubya,

Great News! You've been selected in our second chance drawing for the opportunity to purchase tickets for one of the following games to be played at Fenway Park in 2008: Opening Day (4/8 versus the Detroit Tigers) or one of the nine contests versus the New York Yankees (4/11, 4/12, 4/13, 7/25, 7/26, 7/27, 9/26, 9/27, 9/28).

C'mon guys -- you can imagine my delight..... for those of you keeping track, I had tickets to a game v/s the Yankees last year -- but at the last minute opted to let Mr Big Dubya take 39 on the double-date we'd planned with the Buffalos because I had sick babes and needed to put their needs above my own.

Anyway I was thrilled for a second chance and so as instructed (by the very strict email I might add) I logged in at 12:00 and here I am at 2:07..... still in the virtual waiting room.

back to my letter

I understand the need to find a fair mechanism for selling/distributing tickets and the opportunity to buy them -- but...... when tickets can run up to $90 a piece.... the people who can afford to buy them are people who have jobs and can't necessarily sit in front of their computer for 2+ hours on a Wednesday praying that they can get out of this "virtual waiting room" that teases you with a "refresh" every 30 seconds.

And, didn't your mother teach you any manners..... if you are going to have us over.... give us some snacks or something!

Sincerley,

Mrs Big Dubya

Update: 2:58 still waiting

Update: 3:09 success.... thank Gawd!

da-nile

Like most New Englanders, I spent the early part of this week in denial..... how on earth did the Patriots lose the Superbowl?

But, they did.

People who are usually very rational have been behaving like they just lost their best friend.

Well, I'm done with all that

Yes, it was a disappointing loss -- but, how greedy can we all be? I mean seriously, are we really feeling sorry for Tom Brady? Oh, poor little millionaire...... supermodel girlfriend, beautiful baby with supermodel ex-girlfriend, more money than he could ever spend, more records and titles than any other NFL player and oh yeah, he's only got three superbowl rings at the ripe old age of 30.

If anything, maybe it's nice for our kids to see that even Tom Brady can't always win.

Don't get me wrong -- I wish the Patriots had won, but...... there's always next year.

On the bright side -- pitchers & catchers report in 6 days -- Go Red Sox!

Daily Dilemas

Each day, I find myself faced with yet one of life's little dilemmas.....

If a co-worker (someone at your level) gets fired for "inappropriate use of computer" (translation: porn at work) and he had a better office than you...... how long do you wait before you ask to move in?

Granted, I'm not sure I want to be in that office....... some icky stuff probably went on in there, but.... it's got a much better view than mine.... not to mention better furniture..... I can probably get past the ick with some 409

Thoughts?

Why does this make headlines?

I mean seriously, do we need MSNBC to tell us that double-dipping is gross?

Tiny lobes

Yesterday I found myself at the mall.... picking up a birthday gift for the Big Dubya's nephew (and godson) -- his birthday isn't until next week, but we decided to get him something Suberbowl-related, so of course it had to get in the mail ASAP in order to make it to him in time for Sunday.

So, as I sat on a bench in the middle of the mall -- writing the card, assembling the gift with tissue paper in the gift bag, addressing the box (which I'd just purchased at the post office in the mall)...... I heard an ear-piercing shriek. Good God what just happened to that baby.

She had just had her ears pierced -- she couldn't have been more than 6 months old.

I realize that for some people this is a cultural thing -- but oh my God! I just don't understand the need to pierce a tiny little baby's ears.

Can someone explain it to me please?

How do these guys stay in business?

I was just cleaning out my purse..... it's a sea of receipts, loose change and expired coupons that I forgot to use.... and I came across a receipt from the worst restaurant to ever grace the planet.... Sbarro.

I have no idea how Sbarro stays in business -- I don't know a single person who actually enjoys eating there. Have any of you guys ever gotten something edible from this place?

If I hate it so much, why do I have a receipt?

Ah, smart reader..... that's a good question.

You see, when driving yourself and two babies from the nortwest hills of CT to Atlantic City, New Jersey -- you may find yourself in a situation where you & the kids need a snack and a diaper change (the kids need the diaper, not you). So, you pull over to one of the filthy fine rest stops on the Garden State Parkway and you survey your options.

Okay, I know.... my kids are the only ones in America who refuse to eat chicken nuggets.

So, I figured -- maybe a side of pasta and a slice of pizza -- that's a decent lunch for the three of us to share.

First of all -- $7.59 for a small side of pasta -- are you f'ing insane???? then $3.29 for a slice of "it's been sittin' around for a while" cheese pizza. And then, they tell me that in order to get milk.... I have to go over to Burger King. So, picture me -- 5½ months pregnant with a 1-year old and a 2-year old having to balance a tray of food and make my way to BK to buy milk while trying to keep the 'lil dubya and the 'lil dubyette from running away. In fairness, the 'lil dubya was a champ and helped keep his sister in line..... but still, you'd think that they'd make it a little bit easier. Did I mention the "family" rest room with no diaper changing station????

So, for $14.63 (after a soda and tax) not to mention the $2+ I paid BK for a thimble of milk the kids and I had a lunch that we normally wouldn't feed the neighbor's dog..... we ended up throwing most of it away -- and I HATE wasting food.

Seriously, how do they stay in business calling that food?

The Next Mia Hamm? or maybe David Beckham?

You must admit, the family resemblance is quite remarkable.....

The dirty kids? Yeah, they're mine

So, after I flaked on a doctor appointment Friday morning -- the nice lady at the pediatrician's office (not to be confused with the cranky witch who also works there) squeezed us in for Tuesday afternoon.

I purposely make my doctor appointments in the morning so that the kids will be well behaved (this is relative) and freshly bathed. But, when you totally blow off an appointment and have to be squeezed in.... beggars can't be choosers, so 4:00pm it is.

I left work early, picked the kids up and of course -- the two of them look utterly homeless. The 'lil man is in his "back-up" clothes..... these tend to be clothes that they receive as gifts -- clothes I don't really like -- so, I send them to school with them so that if they need to be changed during the day.... they've got a spare outfit. My rationale is that the outfit doesn't go to waste, but I don't have to see it too often -- it's a win-win.

The 'lil lady has finger paint all over her -- from the pictures she had a great time, but not too much paint landed on the smock.... most managed to skip the smock and go right to her sleeves. She's also got some sort of dried-up mystery goo in her hair..... awesome!

I didn't have time to go home and clean them up -- and the babywipes I keep in the car can only do so much, so -- off to the appointment we go. When we get there I get a better understanding of what she meant by "squeeze us in" -- it's standing room only. There must have been a dozen boys (yeah, all boys) sneezing and hacking all over the place. Most of them looked as homeless as my kids..... I'm guessing they were picked up from school/daycare as well.... made me feel a little bit better, but not much.

As any overcrowded room can be, the waiting room was very, very warm -- so I took off the kids coats -- and then 4:00 turned into 4:10, 4:20, 4:30...... and suddenly I started to smell it.... oh yeah, somebody was having a diaper episode..... if only it could have been somebody else's kid. Instead, it was the 'lil man -- so, not only did he look dirty -- he stunk too. I tried to pretend I didn't notice, but he takes after the Big Dubya..... he stinks.

Thankfully they called us in around 4:40 and we were able to get our business done and out of there in a hurry.

I kind of feel bad for all the times I've looked at scruffy kids and jumped to conclusions....

Back in time

Does hearing a certain song on the radio bring you back to a particular time in your life?

Does driving a certain road remind you of a trip you once took?

This morning I had to go to the hospital for an ultrasound -- it was the routine 20 week photo session, everything is just fine. And no, I didn't find out what we are having.

I called last week to "pre-register" -- and the woman on the phone began giving me directions to where I needed to go -- as she began telling me to go up the long driveway to the main building.... I got a chill. As she continued -- "pass the information desk, pass the gift shop, down a long hallway -- get on the elevator in front of the cafeteria and go down to the ground floor"

I told her to stop -- I knew where I had to go.

The ultrasound department is right in front of the NICU..... where the 'lil man spent his first month. I haven't been back there since we brought him home 2½ years ago -- but as I drove up the long driveway this morning -- it was like it was yesterday. I remember the first time I walked down that long hallway -- I was still so weak, the Big Dubya was practically carrying me -- I'm not sure my feet were even fully on the ground. He hadn't even tried to talk me out of going -- he knew I wouldn't have listened.

I got on the elevator and there was a man that got on with me -- he had a huge vat of coffee.... he'd been up all night -- I could see it on his face.

I got off and was grateful to be taking a left to go to my ultrasound appointment -- the man went the other way -- he was heading to the NICU. I cried a little and then I prayed for him.

Can I Please Adopt Them

Seriously.... I know I cannot offer the lifestyle that their natural parents can, but I can offer them love and stability and a life lived in private suburbia rather than on the cover of the tabloids.

I'm referring to the children of train-wreck Brittney Spears.

Obviously this girl has some issues and she is clearly ill equipped to care for and raise her children -- but seriously, what kind of future do these poor little babies have if this soap opera is allowed to continue?

Just proves -- money isn't everything

Trying to do too much?

Last weekend, I packed up the two kids and headed off to BJs -- when I got home, I opened the back hatch of my SUV and two gallons of milk fell out bursting and creating a white river in the driveway..... I almost cried.

A few days later, I was trying to eat my lunch at my desk between meetings -- I knocked something into my can of iced-tea and splashed some onto my laptop -- shortly thereafter my laptop ceased working. Most people would immediately call the help desk -- me? no, I got on my Blackberry and emailed Aunt P ..... asked her what to do -- she's wickit smaaaahhhht (that's Boston-speak for really smart) when it comes to computers. She asked if it was sweetened with sugar (what the f*&^%$#?) and what I would do if I were at home -- I told her that I'd probably spray the shit out of it with some compressed air to see if I could dry it -- she said that sounded like sound rationale and that I should try it (I'm starting to rethink the whole smart thing) -- I stopped spraying once the laptop began making a sizzle sound..... and decided to call the help desk. Oh, did I mention that it's the middle of year-end?

I completely forgot to show up for 'lil Dubyette's flu shot booster on Friday -- just didn't show up..... Uhm hullo, I don't do things like that. I called this morning to reschedule and booked a time that sounded good..... then I remembered -- that's when I'm supposed to go for my ultrasound.....

I'm starting to think that I've got too many balls in the air......

Happiness Is.....

Being 19+ weeks pregnant with your third baby in three years (I'm not complaining.... this is a very much wanted miracle), feeling huge and awkward and seeing a first timer who is due just days before you with a belly that's twice the size of yours. Yes, I know.... shallow, immature -- I don't care -- I'm big, but she's freakin HUGE!

I've been reading that today is delurker day -- so, please do :)

Internet "Friends"

On Saturday, Mr Big Dubya and I were driving along with the kiddies and we went passed the Panera Bread that just opened in our town

Me: Sue, I mean Insurance Mom, said that the cinnamon crunch bagels from Panera are awesome -- I wonder if they are like the French Toast Bagels we get on the Vineyard

Mr Big Dubya: I knew who you meant....... we should try 'em

Is it odd that Mr Big Dubya knew exactly who I was talking about, despite the fact that we don't know her and that our only exposure to her has been via the blogsphere?

Just wondering?

Miscellaneous

Most people are making resolutions...... me, nope -- not really making any resolutions.

I'm not sure if I'll be up until midnight..... I think I'm passed the part of this pregnancy that compels me to get to bed at 7:30, but...... midnight -- well, that might be a bit much for me this year -- last year we had a newborn..... the year before it was a teething 6 month old and this year..... well, this year I'm 18ish weeks pregnant.

It used to be that the focus of New Years Eve was when, where and with whom I'd be drinking my face off. Some years the answer was Ireland, Vail, the Bahamas, Martha's Vineyard, Boston, New York........

This year? Well, this year my energy is being spent on how to convince a two-year old that Christmas is over.... Santa won't be coming again 'til next year and we can stop watching The Polar Express.

My how times change.....

Christmas..... the aftermath

We've now done Christmas 3 times..... my family on Saturday, Big Dubya's family on Sunday..... and then our own little family on Tuesday, with special guest star Aunt P.

Aunt P did not have the Norman Rockwell Christmas she dreamed of...... I'll give her another day or two to post about it, if she doesn't then maybe I'll attempt it.

As if we didn't have enough shit already, our house now looks like ToysRUs threw up --

We did a pretty good job of hiding the majority of the toys...... each of the kids kept 2 or 3 out and the rest will go into a closet..... kept in reserve 'til I'm desperate some rainy day. My cousin who has twins 14 months older than the 'lil Dubya told me that she's returning a lot of the presents her kids got -- but, I just can't bring myself to do that...... so, I'll just rotate them in and out of the closet.

Santa brought the kids one big toy to share and then a few smaller supplemental items. One thing that the Dubya and I didn't anticipate was that our Type-A, anal nature would compel us to spend more time with their kitchen than they do. See, the 'lill Dubyette just loves pulling all the dishes, pots and pans out and leaving them strewn all over the floor -- we end up picking them all up and then instead of just tossing them into one cabinet or whatever, we actually spend time arranging them in the cabinets, etc. -- ensuring all the food is in the refrigerator and all the dry goods are in the cabinet...... dishes are in the dish rack and the cups and the salt and pepper shakers are in their spot. It's absurd, and we keep catching each other doing it -- not to mention pulling slinky dog out of the oven twice an hour.

Oh well, for a few minutes each day...... I am treated to the sight of the 'lil Dubya and 'lil Dubyette "cooking" happily together and it makes me happy that Santa splurged for this gift that takes up too much space.

matching Baby Gap PJs courtesy of Aunt P

Belated Merry Christmas to all!

This year's outtakes

I'm sure the Big Dubya will be posting our Christmas Card on ye 'ole mantle this year..... some of you have already received it (or are about to) the old fashioned way. I'm always very hesitant to post pictures of the kids...... I know I don't really have many readers, but.... I worry about the sickos in the world -- so, the Big Dubya and I agree to post photos only on rare occasions and because Kara asked so nicely........ some of this year's Christmas Card outtakes for your enjoyment.

The day began innocently enough..... the Big Dubya and I getting the kiddies dressed up and trying to obtain just one decent photo of them sitting/standing/kneeling/lying next to each other.... looking in the same direction and/or smiling -- because, well.... both would be too much to ask.

After a while, it became clear that a photo of the two of them was not in the cards.... so I told the Big Dubya to try to get a decent one of each of them on their own.... we'd cobble them together somehow.

Easier said than done....

She eventually cooperated...... him, not so much

After a while, the 'lil Dubyette was just fed up with his antics -- and in true Diva fashion demanded that she be allowed sit in her trailer 'til her brother was ready to behave -- a hug from Daddy would have to do....

Apparently, ruining the family Christmas Card is tiring for the 'lil Dubya.....

110 shots later and we still had nothing good enough for the Christmas Card..... so we picked the best of a bad bunch and out they went. I don't think next year's experience will be much better..... next year there will be 3 of them

In case you are wondering how the photo shoot went....

The 'lil Dubyette got so fed up with her brother's lack of cooperation.......

She turned to her Daddy for comfort.

What a boob!

Oh good God, isn't his 15 minutes up yet? Does anybody else find this despicable?

Request for Prayer

This is "the" weekend..... we are going to attempt the annual Christmas Card Photo.

In the event you need a reminder of last year's fiasco..... here are a couple of the better ones... ones that almost made the cut

Fortunately, I'm not doing this 10 days post-partum like I was last year -- so although their may be some crying...... I'm hoping that it won't be uncontrollable sobbing by me. Unfortunately, I am on the wagon -- so no matter how stressful this gets -- the only comfort I'll be able to get is watching the Big Dubya get intimate with a bottle of Jameson.

I'm not sure if you all pray..... but, if you do -- please pray for me. If you don't pray, please send me positive vibes or whatever you do..... it would be really pathetic if the Dubyas had no card for the mantle

Random Thoughts

I wonder how many of McDonald's breakfast customers are pregnant women who are driving to work and need carbonation in order to keep from heaving.... just wondering.

For those wondering.... my breakfast selection of choice adds up to 12 Weight Watcher Points -- but it helped me stop puking on the ride into work.

Dubya News

Not sure if you've seen hubby's puzzle, but.... if you haven't -- go check it out

Those Sharpie people should really sell a solvent....

Despite the fact both of his parents were in the room, the 'lil Dubya got hold of a red Sharpie pen and introduced it to our fairly new (4, maybe 5 month old) sectional couch....... the carpet and a dresser took some abuse as well, but the couch got the lion's share of the "art".

It didn't occur to me to look at the time, but the Sharpie website does offer some guidance on stain removal.... apparently these guys have small children -- I might pick some up..... just in case.

The Big Dubya is supposed to be composing something witty, but let's just say...... our weekend was spent being "thankful" that we were able to get most of it out, and our kids "giving" each other a 24-hour bug that resulted in lots of vomit, diarrhea and of course..... laundry.

Black Friday

Tell me..... do you buy into the hype?

Do you go shopping the day after Thanksgiving?

Do you get up at 3:00 am and wait in line to get those bargains?

How is it possible?

My baby girl is a year old..... her first birthday was on Saturday.

I've been in denial over this milestone..... I just can't seem to get my head around the fact that a year has passed. She's so adorable.... I mean, I know all babies are cute and that I'm probably biased, but this kid is undeniably cute.

She's very much a Daddy's girl -- as soon as he walks through the door in the evening, she lights up and leaves whatever she's doing in the dust. She'll stand at his knee tugging at his pants until he picks her up and then she places her hands on the sides of his face and puts her forehead to his lips.

Where does the time go?

Satisfied Customer

Have you ever had a retail experience that just f'ing pissed you off?

How about one where the company went so far above and beyond that you were floored by their exemplary level of service?

A couple of weeks ago, the Dubya family was at ToysRUs and decided to pick up a small table and chairs for the 'lil ones. Nothing fancy, just something kid-size for them to color on, etc. Once we got home, I thought.... wouldn't it be great if we could get another couple of chairs -- so that when other kids come over they have a place to sit too? So, I went onto the manufacturer's website and sure enough.... I found that they do sell the chairs so, I ordered another set of 2 and a few days later they arrived.

Unfortunately, the chairs I got in the mail weren't the same color as the ones I got at ToysRUs -- same chairs, but different color. I figured I was out of luck, but I emailed the company anyway just to ask if there was a chance I could exchange them.

Let's be clear -- the company did nothing wrong, they sent me exactly what I ordered.... I just assumed they'd be the same color.... even the picture would have clued me into the fact that they aren't.

Apparently, the chairs I got at ToysRUs are part of a set that's a "ToysRUs exclusive" -- so they aren't available separately either online or at ToysRUs, BUT the customer service person tracked down a pair and had them shipped to me -- and then asked if I could leave the chairs I didn't want outside so that UPS could come pick them up.

Now that's customer service!

We are thinking of getting the kids a "kitchen" for Christmas and this experience alone would make me shop Step2 first.

What are you guys doing for Thanksgiving?

Three weeks ago

Nana Dubya: What are your Thanksgiving plans?

Mrs Big Dubya: We are just going to stay home --

Nana Dubya: Really?

Mrs Big Dubya: Yeah, we both have to work on Wednesday and it's just easier thank packing up the kids and trudging all the way home -- would you and Papa Dubya like to join us? We'd love to have you

Nana Dubya: Maybe -- we've got to see what everyone else is doing

Mrs Big Dubya: Okay -- the offer stands

Two weeks ago

Nana Dubya: Do you guys know what you are doing for Thanksgiving yet?

Mr Big Dubya: Yeah, we are staying home -- would you like to come out?

Nana Dubya: Maybe -- we'll see what your brothers are doing

A few days later

Nana Dubya: Are you guys coming home for Thanksgiving?

Mrs Big Dubya: No, we are staying home

Last week

Nana Dubya: Where are you guys having Thanksgiving dinner?

Mr Big Dubya: At home -- how about you?

Nana Dubya: We aren't really sure yet.

I'm starting to think that there might be some disapproval in our decision to stay home for Thanksgiving this year. We stayed home last year -- then again, last year the 'lil Dubyette was a mere 6 days old. I'm not a Thanksgiving person..... it's not my holiday -- to me, it's just a bigger version of Sunday dinner -- so, it's not worth the aggravation of traveling. I think my mother-in-law thinks that if she asks the question enough times, she'll finally get an answer she likes.

Champions!

Everything is as it should be

Dear Aunt P’s friend

When Aunt P called me on Saturday night to tell me that your mother was at “the end”, I just couldn’t believe this could be happening. She had just retired, you just had a baby, your brother is getting married next month…. she’s only 58 years old – how could she possibly be dying?

When the phone rang at 6:30 Sunday morning, I saw Aunt P’s number on the caller ID – calls that come at that hour rarely bring good news – no words were needed, I knew that she had passed.

When I saw you at the wake, I could tell the past few weeks had really taken a toll on you. You looked good, but tired and small. Gone was the young girl Aunt P went to second grade with and the teenager that carpooled to high school with us – before us stood a grown woman providing comfort to all those who had come to offer their comfort and support.

Your Dad looked so lost, and I just watched him trying to hold it together. It felt like you had assumed the role of the parent and he, the role of the child -- your strength was propping him up from across the room. You and your brother are truly the greatest gifts your parents ever gave each other.

The next day at the funeral, I sat next to Aunt P as she rocked your baby girl. It’s so unbelievably cruel that such a wonderful woman will never get to see those chubby little legs toddle their first steps or hear that tiny voice call her “Grammy” for the first time.

I know it's odd to say, but in a way I’m almost grateful that you didn’t lose your mom until after you became a mother yourself – because now that you are a mother, you can begin to fathom how much joy you brought her and how proud she was of the remarkable woman you’ve grown into. It doesn't soften the blow, but maybe it helps in some small way.

I’m sure it’s all a blur to you now, but the church was filled with the lives she’d shaped – friends like Granny, me and Aunt P – former students who were guided by her faith, her unintimidating style and her sense of humor – colleagues who followed her extraordinary example.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t blessed with a long enough life – but you should be so proud of the contributions she made to her community – and know, that her family was her greatest achievement and it is a magnificent one.

Lean on us when you need to
Love Mrs Big Dubya

Prosti-tots

I remember when I first read a post written by my good friend Kara, I admit it -- Kara, I'm so very sorry, I thought you were exaggerating..... out of frustration or for humor or for effect.

I was wrong, I was very, very wrong.

When she first wrote the post, I didn't have a daughter -- I hadn't really spent too much time shopping for little girl clothing -- and when I did, it was hoodies from the Gap or pajamas from the DisneyStore -- pretty vanilla stuff.

I should have been clued in when we went to DisneyWorld in May -- we were at the pool and my infant daughter was wearing something like this, other infants (yes, infants) I saw were wearing something more like this. I'm not sure a body that's still wearing a diaper is meant to wear a triangle string bikini top, but.....

The daughter of a close friend turns 4 next week -- she's tall for her age, so probably needs a size 5. I decided to go get her something cute -- I started off at the Disney Store.... thought maybe some cute pajamas or something princess-related. The pajamas? no, no really cute pajamas -- but they did have "nighties". I don't mean nightgowns..... I mean nighties -- sheer nighties. First of all, it's October -- almost November and this is Connecticut!!!! Sheer??? Where's the flannel?

I left the Disney Store disappointed and went to The Limited Too, well -- I only lasted 5 minutes in that store -- they are clearly the official outfitters of Prosti-tots -- I mean, seriously -- I wouldn't allow a teenager to wear some of the stuff I saw in that store. Gymboree was modest enough, but a bit too dressy for everyday wear and the everything I saw at OldNavy was just poorly made -- looked like it might disintegrate if you tried to wash it.

I ended up at my old stand-by, The Gap -- but they aren't getting off so easy either -- they had their fair share of baby-tart clothes too. I was able to find something 4-year old appropriate, but I had to shop for it and there weren't an abundance of choices.

What is wrong with people? Maybe we wouldn't be seeing stories about birth control for 11 year olds if we let little girls dress like little girls. No, I don't think we need to dress them like Laura Ingles, but how about keeping them fully clothed?

My name is Mrs Big Dubya, and I'm a Bread, Butter, Cheese & Cream-aholic

I've figured out why I'm fat......

I wish I could tell you that it's because I've been drinking too much beer or wine.... nope, haven't had either in a few weeks (geez, I better get on that).

I wish I could tell you that it's because I eat chocolate, cookies, pies, cakes, candy..... but no, I've got a huge candy jar in my office and I rarely touch it.

Nope -- my problem is real food. I love real, good, rich food. Big chunky bread slathered with creamy butter, cream-based soups and anything, I mean anything with cheese melted on it.

Aunt P's been trying to inspire me back onto the WeightWatchers wagon, but fate, fate I tell you keeps intervening.

This morning, I went downstairs to the cafeteria with my 1 point Thomas' English Muffin I popped that puppy into the toaster while the ginormous bagels taunted me. It came out of the toaster not toasted enough, so I popped it back in..... it came out burnt. I can't eat burnt muffin..... maybe I should get a bagel? or a big bowl of oatmeal with scoops and scoops of brown sugar.

I ate the burnt muffin..... it sucked.

Yesterday I wasn't so strong though... I went to get lunch at Baja Fresh I figured I could get something healthy there.... well, it's gone -- apparently it has been for a while, but Panera Bread was right next door -- I should have gotten a nice salad with a smart dressing, but instead I got cream of broccoli soup and this amazing chicken Caesar sandwich.... which comes with either bread or chips..... they made a mistake and gave me both and oh my Gawd was it good -- but, yeah I'm a big old fatty.

I need a support group.

We're all Coming Over -- Okay?

My family's coming over on Saturday -- my mother, my sister -- my mother's two (maybe three) sisters and their husbands -- maybe some of my cousins with their spouses and families.

I don't know when on Saturday

Don't know how long they are staying

Not sure if they are sleeping over

So, yes -- I have company coming on Saturday.... no idea how many, no idea what meal (or meals) I'll have to come up with for them .... no idea how many beds I have to make up or assign....

How does one shop for this?

In defense of the drive thru workers

I was reading the New England Mamas the other day, and I was kind of struck by a post written by a blogger I like reading very much.

I was kind of in a cranky mood, and started scripting a really snarky comment -- but then, thought better of it -- I like these ladies and don't want to piss them off.... over something so stupid. I've gotten the wrong food at drive-thru and it's inconvenient, it's annoying.... it sucks.

But, for some reason -- the post has kind of stuck with me and I figured rather than drop a comment on their site -- I'd just use my own space to share my thoughts.

In the interest of full disclosure, it has been a few years -- but I actually did work at a McDonald's drive-thru for 4+ years during high school and college.

Yes, I understand that sometimes there can be a mistake in your order. Yes, you should get what you ordered -- and it should be hot (or cold) when it is served to you.

But,

Did you know that these kids in the drive through are not making a ton of money?

Did you know that they serve hundreds of customers every hour with a fairly good accuracy rate?

Did you know that those booths are heated/air conditioned, but with the window constantly open it is freezing cold in the winter and boiling hot in the summer?

Did you know that often times that your car radio, loud exhaust and/or background chatter interferes with the speaker and that you can't always hear what the customer is saying?

Did you know that their performance is based on the number of seconds the car sits at the window? and that often times the cars behind you yell at these workers when you take a long time to get your money out or make changes to what you want once you get to the window?

Did you know that owner/operators won't let you just throw some ketchup in every bag because it impacts their bottom line? They make you wait 'til the customer asks for it.

Did you know that perverted old men drive through naked from the waist down to show you their "goods"?

I understand that you drive through because you are in a hurry and you expect them to get it right -- but are you really going to complain about a burger that cost you $0.99, a burger you couldn't even bother to get out of your car for.

The Holidays

Can you believe it? the holidays are fast approaching -- I mean, Thanksgiving is just 49 days away..... Christmas.... 82 days people, 82 days -- Did Easter even happen? 4th of July? I don't think I remember them..... where'd the year go?

Last year I was on maternity leave over the holidays, so I was able to do my Christmas shopping quite leisurely -- this year with a 10-month old hell bent on walking and a 2-year old who's hell bent on knocking her over -- not to mention a house, a husband and a full-time job -- I'm wondering how I'm going to get it all done.

Fortunately, I tend to be kind of organized..... I buy for a lot of children -- nieces, nephews, children of close friends.... so historically, I've picked one gift and given it to all of them. Last year it was the always comes in handy Gap Fleece -- good for 'lil ones, good for big ones, good for boys, good for girls -- reasonably priced when you shop the sale. Last November, I went into our local BabyGap/GapKids and bought something like fifteen of these babies. Not sure what this year's "Gift from the Dubyas" will be, but I'm open to suggestions.

Last year, I had so much time on my hands that I actually bought into the madness --

Does anybody know what this year's "hot toy" is supposed to be?

STOP TOUCHING MY CHILD!!!!!

It's so true in life.... everything happens for a reason.

Several years ago, the Big Dubya took a job -- a job that in the end, just wasn't a great fit for him. It's hard to regret his taking the job though, as it resulted in some of the great things in our life. It brought us to the area where we live which, for the most part, we love. And, it introduced us to the Buffaloes, who have become the most wonderful friends.

There were some other people we met in the course of this job..... some who we were friendly with, but then lost touch.... sad, but it happens. Some who we thought we were friends with, but as it turns out we weren't really..... disappointing, but oh well. And then there are the people that these people bring along with them -- girlfriends, boyfriends......

The Big Dubya was friends with a woman -- she was a lot of fun and we spent time with her and her boyfriend. We liked this woman, and the guy, well....... he was kind of strange -- but, other than the "ick" factor, he seemed harmless enough -- we kind of accepted him as part of the package. We weren't all that disappointed when their relationship began to fizzle out..... we'd hoped that she would move on to somebody better -- and then we lost touch with her, but we do know through some mutual friends that she did meet someone and married him -- so, it sounds like she's found some well deserved happiness.

Unfortunately, the ick dude..... well, he lives near us. For the past couple of years, we've somehow managed to miss running into him...... but you know it was bound to happen.

A couple of months ago, I was sitting at a traffic light and Mister Ick sped by me on a red moped..... I'll address my thoughts on grown 40-something men riding teeny-tiny mopeds in another post. I immediately called the Big Dubya and Mrs Cape Buffalo to relay my sighting..... I was thrilled that it was merely a drive-by and that I wasn't forced to make small talk with the guy, we had a good laugh and didn't give it a second thought. This past Saturday..... not so lucky.

The 'lil Dubyette and I were minding our own business, waiting in the deli line at Stop & Shop when I saw him. There was nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. I could only bow my head and pray that he didn't see me...... I began playing with 'lil Dubyette's toes..... hoping to avert my eyes without looking like I was averting my eyes.

It was too late, he saw me --

Mr Ick: "Mrs Big Dubya, is that you? it's me Mr Ick"

Me: "Of course, hello Mr Ick -- how are you?"

We made small talk, and then he began rubbing 'lil Dubyette's head (WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU.... GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY!)..... smart child that she is, she began to grimace and whimper -- lucky for him he stopped, so I didn't have to lay on a smack-down in front of the cheese case.

I got to meet Mrs Ick..... yes, apparently he found a Mrs Ick and they have a Baby Ick.... And then he started asking me all sorts of questions about his Ex.

Uhm...... kind of uncomfortable in front of new wife, dontcha think???

Other than she met a guy, moved and got married.... I know nothing -- so I told him that hoping to end the whole ordeal -- but he started discussing their break-up and how they'd kept in touch and that she'd moved to Virginia......

My deli number was called, so I bid farewell and placed my order -- praying that they'd just go away.

He did...... I proceeded to shop very, very slowly -- didn't want to risk a second encounter.